Hi. I've just started the reading the book and so far, the book has almost accurately described my situation with my husband currently.
I fear I have ADHD as I'm unable to follow through all the tasks and promises I'm supposed to do and say. Currently my husband and I are not on good terms and he believes that I don't have ADHD and that I am just trying to fit into the ADHD criteria. But I honestly feel and think I have ADHD — I have been noticing that I only do what I am asked to do when my husband gets angry. I also have messed up my own financial plan that just this Monday my husband blew his gasket off at me that it destroyed his mood.
I'm in Germany right now and seeking psychiatric help is difficult nowadays due to long wait times, amongst other reasons. I want to save our marriage while waiting for a chance to be treated. What should I do?
EXACT same situation
Submitted by Mrs B on
Hello! Oh my goodness. I just came on here to write my first post, and saw yours. I was truly about to write the EXACT same thing. I just found this site, and Melissa's book. I was absolutely astonished to read so much information that resonated with my experience. I am the wife, and I suspect that I have ADHD. My husband is exhausted, fed up, angry, resentful and hurt. I've mentioned my belief that I may have ADHD and he thinks I'm just trying to find excuses (again). I don't know how to explain all of this to him. I don't know how to make him understand. My marriage is on the brink and I'm desperate to save it. Any help would be greatly appreciated
Hi Mrs B
Submitted by CandyCoatedAnxiety (not verified) on
How are you now? I've just seen your reply just today. Has anything changed?
Non-ADHD wife here
Submitted by Elliej on
Hello
Im the non-ADHD wife. Firstly i want to say well done on recognising you may have ADHD. That in itself isnt easy to pinpoint. I too was guilty of what your husbands are doing. My ex-husband kept saying he had autism, which i thought was sn excuse. However i recognised my son had ADHD, and then i realised my husband did too. At this point i pushed him to get a diagnosis and paid privately. Unfortunately since diagnosis we have separated and he had no further movement to get treatment.
1st step is recognising help is needed. 2nd step is getting that help. 3rd step is diagnosis and acceptance and 4th step treatment and counselling. This is a long road. In the meantime you are responsible for you task and time management. Not your husbands. I know its hard but phone reminders help, notes, post its etc. Good luck and i really hope you both get the support you need xx
Hey Elliej
Submitted by CandyCoatedAnxiety (not verified) on
Thank you so much for your response to my and Mrs B's posts. It's been a month and my husband finally understood my difficulty, but the downside is that he still gets angry when I don't do well with my finances. I promised that I will not go over with my budget, but guess what? I did again and historically this has been one of my major problems. My husband today got so furious at me that I wished he understood me through. I am the one who handles our groceries (not him because he is the one works)...
Winning love and trust back
Submitted by Mrs B on
Hi, Thank you for reaching out! I have started medication in the past week, I'm hopeful that it will result in me taking more action, more focus. But my husband doesn't get it (yet) so my marriage will need lots and lots of repair. I'm determined to win his love and trust back - anyone who can provide me with any tips on how to do this, I would be very grateful