I have been in a relationship with an adhd woman for 5 months, and it was the best things maybe that happen into my life. I am very succesful in what i do, i take care of my self a LOT but however we have been broken up for 6 months with my ex, i still miss her so much. In the 5 months together we made a LOT of things together, we travelled, had some incredible experiences and have been to some amazing places. She told me that in her past she was not a very good person and that she have adhd, but i didnt care about her past and Rolf her, because i was seeing her Only for the things she was giving to me and she was really appreciating that and the fact i was the first male that shows interest about her past. At the time i was moving to another country and was a big change for me. She was always talking to come and stay with me and that i was the first person i was understanding her and that i was so deep in the way i communicate with her. We were Both around our 40 and with very good Jobs. I didnt know a LOT about adhd and i was not informing myself as i am doing right now. However after one week that she was in my new country with me and turned back to Uk, after telling me that i was the man that she wanted to spend her life she called me and broke up with me but wanted to have me as friend in my life. I have had a LOT of experience with women in my life and i thought that friendship should not be the best choice, because i felt very frustrated emotionally and i was not understanding how a person can change her feeling in a week. She told me that she have never felt for me and was a mistake that she said to me that she loved me but i still was for her the most amazing person she ever meet. In that time that we were together helped her financially, she didnt asked me, but i wanted to show to her that i wanted to be present and started to write a book for her too (my language is not english but i am a very good writer). However i decided to stay as friend because i was thinking that she was overhelmed by something and i wanted to be at her side. But the fact that she was not responding anymore to me as before, made me frustrated becsuse i had just started my life in a new country and was completely alone. After some time, 3 weeks after the break up she asked me space and i told her, i will give it to you but i was thinking Only of her. Asked her to talk but she told me that she was not in the Mood. After 4 days she asked me for space, a reservation we hade before for summer trip to santorini came at my email and i forwarded the email to her asking her, What should we do, should we go or not, becsuse i needed to make the payment. She cancelled the reservation and blocked me. I tried to contact her but she Told me that i had disrespected her. I tried for 6 month to make a contact with her through Phone or messages but everytime i finish blocked as soon as she read what have i wrote or my voice on the phone. Never offended her Only asked to talk and writing loving words to her. Gave her 3 months without contacting after some time that i send her a LOT of gifts asking for apologise if i have done something that i have hurt her, but never took a reply. I trief to date other people too, but i am not feeling the sparkle that i had with her and the connection that i had with her. Yesterday after 3 months i tried to call her again from another number, because i am still blockd, just to talk to her and try to understand for what i disrespected her and at least not to have this kind of ending with her because i still love her and i miss her everyday but she directly blocked me and i have never felt so bad in my life. I dont understand why she blocks me everytime meanwhile i Want just to have a talk with her and try to fix something with her if we made wrong. I am very frustrated and the fact i dont know what really happened that she completely changed her feeling in one week and i dont Know what i have done to hurt her, have opened a wound Inside me. I Want Only to know if somehow i have hurt her. the last thing i Want is she to be hurted becsuse i have started to understand how frustrating adhd can be but on the other side we have feelings too and is not right to be treated like this and always finished blocked meanwhile i just try to build a communication. every person who have a similar experience csn help me with a tip. I still Want to contact her but dont Want to hurt her more.
Communicating with adhd people
Submitted by andicass on 08/01/2023.
It's over
Submitted by adhd32 on
It is so painful but you must move on. The hyper-focus on you has worn off. You cannot recapture the feeling and joy, it was all a mirage. For you, this breakup is a blessing in disguise. You don't know it yet but you dodged immense life disappointment. Let her go, you are carrying a torch for the person you thought she was but she isn't really that person at all. You were new and shiny to her but once you became routine you became unseen. The person you see now is her true self. Consider the relationship an education and the lesson learned about ADHD partners. It is tough to accept that what came before will never come again. You need to move on.
Yes i understand and
Submitted by andicass on
Yes i understand and appreciate your reply but should qe not think about this persons too. I know is not gonna be easy, but if we really have loved them we should try to be beside them, when they Want a warm Word or a warm hand, or just a shoulder. The story and the past of my ex have inpacted me in a way that all i Want is her hapiness. And believe me, this words come from a man who is very handsome and can have any woman, but if we really love someone we need to stay for them even if they try to push is away. She have suffered a LOT for 4 decades and i know she ave scars from her past, that i think are related with adhd and the way she try to close the relationship, but however if no one stay and try to understand them, they will go in the same cirkel every time. If believe that if you give love, love will come back one day.
I feel sorry for you both.
Submitted by SilviaM on
I feel sorry for you both. But it was hyperfocus. And now it is gone. I'm really sorry.