Hello everyone! I am married to a lady (Kim) who I now understand struggles with ADHD/OCD related challenges.
She has only been able to hold jobs for about three months out of the last nine years. Her brother suggested I read the book "Scattered" by Gabor Mate which I did and I am now on Chapter 6 of the ADHD Effect on Marriage.
Thank you very much for your book, Melissa, I feel you have been reading my mail :-)
I am looking for face to face ADHD support groups in the Rockford Illinois to Beloit Wisconsin area, but I understand that this website is a huge resource that I have barely scratched the surface of, so I am looking forward to doing that too.
I have recently met a pastor at a John Eldridge Men's Camp who is a counselor and I am looking forward to counseling sessions for myself with him starting this Saturday and will see if Kim will join me.
Many thanks again, Melissa for a promising resource!
Best regards
Keith
Hi Melissa (and everyone)
Submitted by krobbyzw on
Hi Melissa (and everyone)
I have now finished your book, Melissa and I am now preparing myself for the "tightrope walk" of how to establish whether my wife has ever been diagnosed with ADHD (the symptoms are there and my brother in law says it may be an OCD/ADHD combination). I am willing to take the tests with her so that she DOESN'T feel that this is "her" problem. She has (in my opinion) enough of a self conscious/low self esteem challenge and I can empathize with her on that level. My dad actually bought me a book called "Don't Be Shy" while I was in my teens. I would love suggestions on how to make this a fun exercise, rather than a dreaded exercise, since I love learning and my wife already has high level avoidance skills (again, in my opinion). Thank you!
She may not appreciate your assessment
Submitted by adhd32 on
I like all the cards on the table when dealing with issues. Best to know the worst case scenarios in advance and have a tentative plan. You didn't mention if she has a high level of RSD but your bringing this up can trigger an unanticipated negative response. The problem is what do you do after establishing she has ADHD and she decides she is just fine and you are just too picky, a know it all, read too much into everything. I know you feel empowered now that you have an answer to all the confusion but prepare yourself for her negative reaction as she may be triggered by your "going behind her back" to make her the problem.