I was meaning to write this over a week and half ago and my own challenges kept me from doing so - as the non-ADHDers, you know the one I'm talking about: when something good happens, it's really hard to celebrate it bc you know something disappointing is right around the corner. But I thought to myself just now, 'just write the good thing anyways as this might help you and someone else to see that there CAN be joys in this type of marriage'. 

So that's what I'm doing.... last couple of weeks have been difficult as we navigate this and we aren't really connected or working together or even really talking, we are cordial and nice to each other (kinda) but it's not what I want in a marriage. However, it got particular bad for me internally and I'm doing the work wiht a therapist about myself and boundaries and I really felt that the come-2-jesus talk was coming up and that I was more aware of what my ultimatium would be; esentially that he needs to get help for his ADHD. 

...here's where the joy comes in... would you believe that on the day he was due to go for an appointment about his depression, anxiety and ADHD and medication that he's been on, he took the initiative to actually TALK to me, just me and him (which never happens), and asked me questions about how i felt about how he was doing. He encouraged me to be honest and tell the truth - I struggle with this bc his moods just are too roller coaster-ey to stand strong in what I am feeling/thinking/believing, so I stopped sharing them bc it's just easier (I know, not a great dynamic) - and I DID and he got upset a few times but then actually calmed down and took what I said on board and said that he doesn't have to agree with it but he needed my perspective. 

And then he had a good session with the doctor and they have finally decided to treat the ADHD and he's starting medication for it specifically in the new year. I couldn't be happier as it's progress (but struggling with the fact of how this process has happened but that's for another time) and really hoping that while I know it might take a while to stick, at least this is moving forward in some way. 

Wanted to share!