I'm pretty clear on the challenge I face with my SO. I'm also getting through the grieving process. All that's left is to make the decision and choose the red pill or the blue pill. Almost done with the book... which  makes me realize there's only so many things I can do alone without both of us participating.

My biggest fear, based on my own insecure attachment is, can I do what I need to and become comfortably secure with what "I" have to deal with....that's me of course. 

They say, in a battle against mother nature...the best you can hope for is a tie. A tie would be fine with me but also saying, this only helps me not take things personally and see exactly who I'm up against...and it isn't my SO.... it is mother nature.

I'm thinking I'm going to go big and dig down deep, but, with some more help from a therapist.  That's my plan for now.

Just yesterday at work, they showed me a ring that was a disaster in the making. I told them that there'd be little I could do to fix it so they'd be better off to wear  it as long as they could until the thing literally starts falling apart. At that time, it's time to buy a new one or....modify it a bit and change the whole structure.

That's how I feel now...until the wheels start falling off....I'm going to go down that road as far as I can. And if that happens,  I do something else. I'll know that when I get there, but there's usually always an alternative. 

J