I had a flashback to a story I was told in therapy years ago and it suddenly made perfect sense to me now.
The story: "There once was a man, dying of thirst in the desert. As he crawled through the sand on his hands and knees, he spotted an Oasis of trees up ahead. When he reached the trees, he found a beautiful Oasis where a wealthy Sheik lived with his family. One of the Sheik's beautiful daughters spotted him and came to his aid. Other family members came to add assistance and took him to a tent and was cared for to help him recover. After he rested, he was taken to the Sheik who told him anything he owned was available to him. A huge spread of food was laid upon a table that had anything you could imagine. He was offered clothing and even one of his many beautiful daughters if he desired. There was everything any man could ever wish for except the one thing he needed most to survive. There was not even one drop of water to drink, anywhere to be found."
You could read into this story anyway you like but for me, it caused me to stop and think. What is it that I'm missing in all the things I do have right now? Is it vital to my survival, will I die without it?
And what if I lost all the things I do have, in an effort to get that one thing? Would it be worth it? Would my life be better off ? Would that be a ridiculous trade off in order to get this one thing I crave?
Food for thought.
And without keeping my thoughts a secret, one thing that I do have right now is a bountiful supply is companionship. And companionship is right up there at the top of the list of things I really craved most when I was alone for 5 years. In that sense, this could be seen as water for the man, dying of thirst in the desert.
J
Part Two
Submitted by J on
This story actually came into my thinking when, not actually thinking about my SO but about my oldest sister. We don't have a really close relationship, not only because of our age difference, but because she's extremely introverted. She so introverted, we use to tease her saying: " you could be put on a desert island somewhere with and endless supply of books and you'd be perfectly happy". And she immediate agrees.
She's has almost no need to be social or need for anything but solitude and her books. In fact, what she needs most is to left alone. She needs tons of space! She's literally an island unto herself. To the point, her husband spends about half of his time down at a beach house they own, while my sisters stays at home ( alone with no pets or children ) and does what ever she does? I don't even know what she does but, I'm assuming, reading her books. I could compare her book reading to video game playing. In fact, if she was a video game player, she'd be a video game addict!
So, her and her husband spend a lot of time away from each other, which, by everything I've seen, seem to be happy and just fine with this arrangement? Me on the other hand, would not be fine with this.
If you compared me to a car, I'd be a vintage Ferrari not a Toyota.
A Toyota, you just turn the key and it goes, and you hardly ever have to do anything to it. It's an extremely reliable, low ( or almost no ) maintenance car. And it goes and goes forever before you have to do anything to it.
A vintage Ferrari on the other hand, is really a pain in the ass to own if you really drive it. Even a trip to the store and back requires you to tinker amd tweet it and constantly trying to keep the thing "in tune". It's a constant, on going process to keep it on the road and running smoothly. It's a never ending process that requires constant maintenance.
But, the people who own them love this process. They love having to tinker and play with them, because they're so much fun to drive. And generally speaking, people who own these cars love them to death. In fact, if you asked them if there was one thing they'd never give up, it might be their vintage Ferrari.
And then there's my sister. Low ( or no ) maintainence...just like a Toyota. She needs nothing from anyone, and doesn't really need anyone ( or very little )... but can go forever on very little and be perfectly happy. I was thinking about this in term of companionship. To actually have companionship, it requires constant maintenance and you actually have be there be there ( or be present ). Much more like a vintage Ferrari.
In my thinking....someone like my sister should not own a vintage Ferrari! Lol Her need for companionship is extremely low.
At least, that was my thinking.