This first year after ADD divorce is almost over. Thank you friends on the forum for supporting me through it. 

To all who consider divorce, here's some hope from this perspective. It's like I recently told a longtime friend who's reappeared: I rise like a bubble now.

After having felt for many years a constant tug downward, into depression and burnout, and an all-encompassing pessimism, this bubble quality is almost to good to be true.

Colors are bright, I'm once again fit to make decisions, things I try to achieve happen. This hasn't been the case for a long time. All confidence was gone, now it returns. 

I think the thoughts and emotions of this year have been valuable. They're familiar now. Like scars that have started to fade, no longer inflamed, just weird to the touch and tender of course, they don't cause panic anymore.

Relationships with practically everyone (except the ex) have improved. The children, however saddened at first by the divorce, now thrive. As I get better at life, they are increasingly comfortable, snuggling up for comfort, joking, confiding in me. I feel blessed. I've also found my way back to old passions - art, music - that were hidden behind grief for many years.

My friend who's gone through a similar thing this year has regained his religious faith.

I'm so grateful.

I think an important message from this vantage point is: when you leave a destructive relationship, you can instead focus your efforts where they make a difference. It's rewarding. Even if you're like me immensely saddened by choices you've made in the past, new experiences can make the sting of that fade. And yes, time helps. 

Have a nice weekend everyone.