Hello everyone.  It's been awhile since I posted here ....been getting my life together a bit at a time and just taking time for me.   My husband and I separated five months ago...right before my 50th birthday and 26 years of marriage.  It took me awhile to get to the separation point....years even....but I finally took the bull by the horns and asked him to leave.  He didn't want to of course, got angry, defensive etc but he did leave.  Slowly, slowly I've been turning things around a tiny bit at a time.   I had no idea just how bad things had gotten around my house, and how much my self-esteem had been affected until he was gone.  Wow.  My house is cleaner now....no clutter constantly appearing on every available surface....I can FIND things again (just where I put it!) and nobody is lecturing me, saying hurtful things or checking up on me constantly.  I feel FREE. :))  I even planned a beach vacation for my kids, me and the dog and it was lots of fun....no stress from a husband constantly on the cell phone or laptop, trying to obsessively plan every detail and making us all miserable with his temper and untreated OCD.

My husband is still not seeking counseling and believes that one day I will come to my senses (this from a third party) and take him back in.  How sad.  I actually feel compassion for him....something that was hard for me when he lived here.  Now I just want him to find a way to be happy with himself even if that means we go our separate ways permanently.  

So many new "faces" here....I'm sorry for all who are hurting.  Things can get better even if it's not exactly the way you planned or wanted.   It took me awhile to figure that out.  I'm doing ok....and even looking forward to the future.  That's a good thing. :))