OK.  So I've spent a lot of time since my girlfriend and I split up just taking time to reconnect with Scott to see where I'm at and define what goals I want to set for myself in the coming months.

I've spent a great deal of time interacting with people on forums like this and I've been writing about some of my experiences online as a way of understanding what really happened in my relationship.  I've taken a close look at the relationship, asked myself some pretty tough questions, and have come up with some very honest answers.

Through it all I have come to see that my ex (I call her Nickel) is the kind of person I never want to be without.  Her strength and support and love for me are things that are invaluable to me.  I'm very interested in seeing if the potential exists for us to reconnect, heal and move forward in a relationship.

I have not however made the kind of progress on some of my behaviors that I feel she (and I) deserves.  I've promised myself that I won't hurt her with my behavior like I had so many times before and in the end would rather lose her forever than cause her any more of that pain.  I'm a work in progress with goals and determination to succeed, I'd like her to be a part of that and enjoy the man she got glimpses of over the years.

How does this work?  When do you know when you might be ready to reach out again? How do I know if she's ready? Wanting to get back together with an ex is new to me, in the past I'd been pretty happy with a decision not to date the person when breaking up.  

Clearly I understand that she may have no interest in reconnecting and I probably wouldn't blame her but I'm hoping that she will.

Does anyone have any advice?