Submitted by Pink on 07/28/2010.
Here is my concen which just came up while reading other comments.
How can we as a parent with kids who have ADD help them for not turning out what is this blog doing when they grow and get marry?
What can we do to help our young children to fit into this speed world and have a loving wife or husband while working on their ADD for rest of their live.
In my opinion
Submitted by Aspen on
the ADD child's issue is not THAT much different from the issue that we all have which is to grow up and be valuable members of a family and contributing members of society. Successfully meeting our responsibilities. Now ADD children are going to have different challenges than children without, children from healthy happy homes will have different challenges than those without, etc BUT we all have challenges in the doing.
You just need to teach your children to make the most of their strengths while minimizing their weaknesses the same as any other child. First step is well met: You have identified ADD is a large challenge for your child. Next step is learning about that challenge and how to help him/her overcome it. This might include be tips/tricks to staying on task in school or organizing himself. My SIL's choice has been to send her child to a special ADD school, but however you do it, work with what you have and teach them that ADD is a REASON and not an EXCUSE.
Sometimes I think ppl who have a diagnosis are a leg up on the rest of us. We all have issues, but we don't all have such a clear direction to pursue in order to keep our issues and baggage to a minimum.
I can say for us, my husband is around 3 years into his diagnosis. He was about 35 and we were married several years when he was diagnosed. But he was successful (had completed a college degree and always held a job) partly because he was raised by parents who were good ppl, who loved him and taught him priorities, the value of education, and the value of work. Our adjustment has not been too terribly bad. Yes he frustrates me at times and vice versa, but that happens is all marriage whether ADD is a factor or not.
One extra caution I would add is that you have a child with ADHD (hyperactivity included), I would absolutely get the best most specialized care possible as I believe these are the children & adults who struggle the most with integrating into real world situations--work and relationships especially. They HAVE to learn to control their impulses in order to be any kind of mate!
Another thing is that ADD is becoming so common that perhaps in the future more systems will be set up with the ADD brain in mind. It is already light years better for those of us with new diagnoses than those who got them many years ago.