Your partnership includes too many lies – big and small. In three previous posts I’ve written about why this is happening, and how this hurts your relationship. ADHD – and responses to ADHD – can certainly play a role. So what to do? Here are 9 strategies for ending in your relationship:
In my last post I wrote about 7 reasons partners lie, hoping this might help you better understand the lying that you or your partner might be doing…and even that lying can be rational, even as it is not healthy for the two of you. Now it’s time to explore a more nuanced understanding of the ways that lying hurts you and your relationship. My hope is that once I lay this out for you, partners who are inclined to think lying is ‘not such a big deal’ or that they only tell ‘little white lies’ will reconsider. Lying, as it turns out, hurts THEM as much as it hurts the relationship.
When I talk about lying problems in relationships, I'm not just talking about partners with ADHD. Either partner can lie...and lies also exist in relationships in which there is no ADHD. But there are some ways that the presence of ADHD increases the chances that one or the other partner will lie. To be able to chart the best course to move away from lying in your own relationship, you must first understand why the lying is happening.
Is lying a part of your relationship? Are you eager to move past the lies to a more trusting partnership? This is the first of several posts that will deal with lies and rebuilding trust in relationships impacted by ADHD.
Statistics about how many couples are impacted by one or more emotional or physical affairs are hard to believe, for obvious reasons, not least of which is that estimates vary so widely. They range from 20-60% of men and 20-40% of women having an affair at some point in their relationship. No matter the exact number, the bottom line is that a large number of couples experience this form of betrayal at some point in their partnership, often after that affair has been going on for a while.
