Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on 10/10/2014.
I just came downstairs from cleaning. It is about 7 pm. My spouse says to me "Do you want me to go get chicken for dinner. It's Friday. Isn't Friday my day to cook?"
I actually giggled and say, "Yes. Yes it is."
Huzzah! I did not mention to him that it has been well over 6 months that he has "forgotten" . But I share it here, as I know others will stand with me in utter amazement, wondering what the heck just happened.
I smile. I cheer.
I said, "Thanks. After all the stuff I had to do today, it means a lot."
Liz
Yay! I hope the chicken
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Yay! I hope the chicken tastes good!
Yes, it was yummy!!!
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
Rosered,
It was very good! I have always loved KFC.
I have been trying extremely hard to focus on the positive. As much as it seems prudent to keep those things - the positive steps - foremost in my brain, it is quite difficult to keep everything in balance. The indifference route was not successful for me. The "fake it till you make it" route became the "fake it all the time and stuff your feelings." Not good - for me anyway !
I just want to avoid discussing anything with my spouse. I feel trapped in a corner each time he wants to 'talk." The end result is his disappointment/anger/frustration that I will not attend counseling. The pattern of the discussions have evolved from "Poor Liz she has problems and needs counseling" to "Liz's problems are why I have problems." Trying to stay on one subject in a discussion is like trying to catch a whole bunch of slippery greased piggies. It gets loud, messy and ends up in a mess.
I tried to express how offensive I find it when he growls "You need counseling." I was explaining that it sounds like he thinks I am crazy. Off he went on a long dialog about "See. RIGHT THERE. I never said you were crazy. You hear things I don't say. THAT is the problem."
Oiy. I am wondering if it is part of having ADHD to see everything in black and white. Especially the score keeping. Or the dynamic of self-protection. I yearn for mutual understanding. Every conversation does not have to end up with someone being right and the other person being wrong.
I tired to explain how I feel forgotten when he doesn't show up when he said he would. Sigh. That hit the defensive mechanism. "You CANNOT feel forgotten because I didn't forget you."
These are the sort of dynamics that I can only walk away from - to avoid the back-and-forth of me trying an alternative explanation.
Liz