Hello All,
I am a 38 year old male and I cannot believe I am writing this post on my birthday, but I suppose this was the best present I could think of giving myself. Here's my story: I've been married for 14 years to a wonderful woman. During my early years of marriage, I did not know I had ADD but I got me and my marriage into a lot of trouble - not paying bills, lying about things, not taking responsibility etc etc. My wife lived through all that and was as supportive as anyone can be. Few years ago I was finally diagnosed with ADD and I began medications. The big things started to improve - I stopped lying, I took control of my finances and credit etc. But now I am stuck - the little things are still hard. I become lazy and forget to do small things around the house and as a result things break down at home. My wife is just about at her wits end and now even though my attitude to change is right, she does not have the patience for even the smallest mistake that I make. To make matters worse, my wife is super organized, capable and ofcourse now she is tired of responsibility. I love her and I want her to have happiness. I am willing to do anything for that, but as I said I need to show steady daily progress. Can someone offer any practical tips?
Thanks
Habits...you have to develop good habits....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
You mention that you still forget some things and it annoys your wife.
Do you make lists? do you check your lists?
Do you have a "work before play" rule?
Smartphone Apps Are Your Friend
Submitted by jenna-ADD on
I'm not ADHD (at least I don't think I am), but I do have issues with procrastination and remembering tasks, which I think is mostly due to my struggles with depression and anxiety. If you have a smartphone, apps can be your best friend to help in this regard... although I assume that with ADHD, this might only help if you remember to log them in the first place.
The two apps I use the most at the moment are Week Agenda Ultimate by Johan Burgler and Popplet by Notion on the iPhone (I don't know if there is a version available on Android or not). Just to be clear, I have no affiliation with these developers, and don't have anything to gain by recommending them. I came across them when they were having a freebie promotion on either Apps Gone Free or AppShopper (two iPhone apps that alert you to apps that are on sale or free during promotional periods).
Weekly Agenda Ultimate is the simplest calendar/datebook type app I've used because it simply replicates a two page weekly calendar book that you can flip through. Any appointment you add can be made recurring (ex: insurance bill is due every 20th of the month) and you can attach 1. an alarm to remind you of the actual time of the task and 2. you can also program in travel lead time. This is particularly helpful for me if a meeting is a hour away, as it does me no good to tell me about a meeting at 3p if I should've left an hour ago to get there.
Now that will help with recurring appointments like remembering to pick up the kids from school everyday at the same time... those are things you can reasonably set and forget one time. But remembering to key in reminders for yourself is half the battle. For those one-off things, that invariably pop into your head but you might not have the time or desire to trudge through a calendar to set it all up, Popplet is a quick Post-It like note taking app.
Popplet creates little color coded stickies which is great for shopping lists or jotting down phone numbers or tasks real quick. Its for note taking only and there are no alarms associated with this one. Its an app thats simply quick and easy to jot something down and get out. No worries about forgetting to hit a save button. Whatever you type will be there if you quit the app.
There are also voice activated note taking apps, which I have never used, but a coworker of mine who has Parkinsons and is too shaky to type, uses. That may be another option to look into if something pops into your conscience, and say you're driving, and you just want to record a quick reminder with little fuss.
Hope this helps...