Submitted by Xoliswthrtox on 10/29/2015.
Does anyone elses significant other smoke marijuana on a regular basis?
The reason i ask is because im curious if you find that its helpful or not?
ive done a fair share of reading about it in terms of focusing people with add/adhd but also a fair amount talking about decreased motivation? My husband has been smoking since he's a teen and while i always had a sort of tolerance for it because so many people do, im starting to be annoyed by it... Maybe because the second he's out, his anger and irritability are out if control... Or maybe because i do think there is a component of amotivation (amotivational syndrome is highly debated)....or even the fact that he's STILL out of work and im the only one pursuing jobs for him...
Does anyone elses significant other smoke marijuana on a regular
Submitted by DoxieLover4136 on
Yes - my boyfriend does. He deals with his ADHD and anxiety by smoking and drinking, but he doesn't realize it's become a problem. Even when I got him to not drink or smoke for one night, and we went to bed, and he was very restless and said "See this is why I need a drink/to smoke at night", I said "Don't you think that's a problem?" - the lightbulb still did not go off...
not marijuana, but husband drinks every night.
Submitted by dedelight4 on
My husband doesn't do the marijuana thing, but he does drink every night. He doesn't get intoxicated, but he says he uses it to fall asleep. I've been somewhat concerned about this lately, because his family has a SERIOUS history of addictions. He also was and still IS very angry at these family members who were either alcoholics or drug addicts, but he's not concerned about himself possibly developing an alcohol dependence. I don't think drinking every night is a good thing especially while he's on ADHD medication. I'm not sure if he really understands how addictions develop, even though he does KNOW quite a bit. His family is pre-disposed to alcohol and drug addictions, but he sees himself as "different" somehow.
I tend to think that medicinal marijuana can be a good thing, when it's governed by a doctor and it helps someone's condition, such as pain, cancer, etc., but the motivation thing with your husband has to be a difficult thing for you.
Is Marijuana Helpful or Not?
Submitted by kellyj on
Hi Xoliswthrtox,
This is a great question and one I have just recently asked myself? I use to smoke it on a fairly regular basis when I was young and had no idea I had ADHD. I would be considered a recreational user even back then...which is another way of saying I did it for enjoyment and not as much to relieve anxiety or to self medicate. I could easily say yes or no to it depending on the circumstances and was not addicted in the sense that I had to have it or I couldn't be Okay. I could go for long periods of time without smoking it and usually more often than not....it was done with other people in a group or social setting like a party or gathering where others were sharing the same experience. Not always but most of the time.
Having said that....I have been around plenty of people who used/use it for a different reason than that and have noticed the same things that you described. Irritability if they didn't have it and more of an obsessive quality in making sure they were never without it. That could considered a component of addiction but....I could say the same thing about taking Adderall and how I feel if I don't have it outside of any physical withdrawal that I might experience if I suddenly went without.
This has less to do with addiction or psychological dependency...and more to do with finding something that works in helping you in some way that you can't effectively do without it by yourself. To make this distinction clear.....I do believe that it does have a legitimate practical application and does serve to help some people in all the things that it has been reported to have these benefits including: pain, nausea, nervous tension and anxiety and depression.
Here is where I want to give an honest opinion and in an objective and open minded way... tell you my own personal feelings about Marijuana. I do not want to start by sounding like I am an advocate or dissenter and hope I can you can appreciate this position from someone who is not personally invested in taking any position on this subject.
Since Pot, Cannabis, Marijuana, Weed or any other name you like is legal in the state where I live now. I recently visited one of the many new local "Stores" to have my first legal experience in buying Marijuana. I can tell you...it felt very strange and surreal to walk into a store not unlike a 7-11 and pick from a smorgasbord of every variety, shape and form of Marijuana imaginable. Each item was packaged and labeled just like any other consumer good you could imagine with logos and graphic art packaging and all manner of ridiculous (but creative) names and marketing lures to get you to buy their product. I was silently laughing at all of this the entire time while I was browsing the the displays and deciding to make my final selection. If nothing else even if I didn't buy anything....this was a fun and enjoyable experience. lol
My intention in doing this was specifically as an experiment to see for myself how I felt about Marijuana as a means to help augment my own personal goal in finding alternatives in specifically helping with my ADHD. I had read up on this before and the research indicated that there are specific strains of pot that have been found to help those who have ADHD. My own experience said otherwise but ....I was open to revisiting this again since I stopped smoking pot on any kind of regular basis years ago and had not internal desire or motivation to continue since then. I just kind of lost interest or desire to smoke it years ago and in more jaded stance could say....i grew out of it. The novelty and benefits for me waned to the point I had no desire to continue. Having said that....I have never had any strong feelings against it or for anyone else using it and am happy that the criminal element has been nipped in the bud and the state can get some cash out of the deal. I see this as a win/win for everyone.
And addressing my own personal feelings about the one legitimate concern for those who choose to break the law anyway (it's gonna happen and there will always be those who do no matter what) having to choose between driving with a drunk person or driving with a person (or on the road with) someone who stoned....I would rather end up arriving a little late with a few detours than dead if you follow what I'm saying. lol I pick pot over alcohol hands down as being more innocuous, less damaging to your body in the long run and socially less volatile than alcohol. I firmly believe that domestic violence would drop dramatically if you only had to choose between the two.
Enough said. Here's my take on this after experimenting with this and carefully observing the pros and cons and my own personal feelings about this now after the fact.
For ADHD...it has been reported by some that the Sativa strain vs the Indica strain has some benefit directly related to improving function, attention and alertness and has a effect not unlike stimulants as an alternative to these medications. Back in the day....you had no idea which one was which and took what you got or what was available. Now they have hybrids that are specifically engineered to combine different % or these strains for specific purposes. For my ADHD....I went for the pure Sativa. I ended up buying one gram of Pandora's Box, Strawberry Cough, and one pure Sativa strain that I can't remember the name of? As a control....I picked a heavy hitter (a new high tech hybrid called 5th Element) which is Indicia dominant which nearly put me under water the first time I tried it! lol
Without question....the Indica (5th Element) knocked me out and put me down and glued me to the couch. I felt like a blithering idiot any time I opened my mouth and tried to speak. lol This was and still is what I remember as the biggest con or down side to smoking pot for me. It totally "dumbs me up" and makes me feel intellectually and functionally incapacitated in this way. Eventually.....it just makes me tired, mentally dull and fall asleep after any immediate benefits wear off (usually within a couple of hours). It also wreaks havoc on my short term memory and any ADHD issues I have in this area are multiplied x 10. Like..." I just walked into the room for something a minute ago....but I can't remember why that is any more?" In spades! lol
side note: a top researcher in medical Marijuana made a very important discovery about the effects of Pot on memory. A chemical compound found in the brain that acts to limit or filter the amount of info that we remember was discovered in Cannabis and as I recall (don't quote me)....it was the only other natural source currently found anywhere in nature. Without this chemical in our brains....we would be inundated with so much information flowing into our memory that we could not function without it. Smoking pot adds more of this into your brain when ingested which is why the problem with short term memory. This as I recall was substantiated and proven to show that this effect only last as long as the substance is present. Once you stop ingesting it this compound assimilates in your brain and your memory returns back to a normal level with no adverse permanent affect to the brain. I find this fascinating on all levels:) I believe this researcher was studying this effect in helping those with trauma and recurring unwanted negative thoughts and memories that were plaguing the patients and causing dysfunction in their lives because of it.
The benefits: Any tension or mental anxiety was gone almost immediately after I smoked it. POOF! No longer there. I feel great and relaxed and ready for anything. If there is any benefit for my ability to focus and concentrate...it comes from not having the anxiety that is getting in the way of that for me. It also helped with any melancholy I was experiencing for a while at first....but when the effect begin to taper off....this benefit has no long lasting effect. The anxiety however did not return and was more like hitting the reset button and starting the process from "0" as far as my anxiety level was concerned.
The single biggest benefit from smoking pot that has always been consistent for me is with sleep. I sleep like the dead and wake up feeling great in the morning. I have never had any real sleep problems and am a very sound sleeper anyway so this takes that to a whole new level. To the point...I can fall asleep sitting in a chair while watching TV....and wake up 4, 6, even 8 hours later in the exact same position and think that I just dosed off thinking it has only been a few minutes feeling refreshed and ready for action. It doesn't get any better than that.
Now for the Sativa. Again....without question. It had a pronounced and distinctively different effect on me than the Indica. I tried each variation one night at a time to see if there was a difference between them. Yes...most definitely....each one had it own subtle difference but overall....I felt much more uplifted, alert, socially functional and did not have the same effect with communicating or feeling like I needed to go to sleep. A vastly different experience than the Indica. It also made me much more creatively motivated and I immediately wanted to go play my guitar, go hear music or go do some kind of creative actively. Also....after the 2 hours where before I wanted to go to sleep.....I felt fairly alive, awake and ready for action. I also didn't feel so dumb up or intellectually numb however....I forgot what I was about to say repeatedly to an annoying level and this didn't really change all that much. Still walking into the room and forgetting why I went there but maybe just not as much. lol. And the sleep? Like a baby. If anything....pot is the best sleep aid I have ever come across without question. No other over the counter or prescription medicine has this effect on me with no apparent side effects or down sides if that is the only reason to smoke it.
Concusion. After smoking these different weeds for two weeks straight every night...and once during the day....this is what I have found is my overall take on it.
It does nothing to improve my ability to focus except if my anxiety level was high to begin which I already mentioned. It wreaks havoc on my short term memory or less with the Sativa and there is a lasting short term memory effect even the next day which continued to increase as my body built up higher levels or residual chemical compounds over time. As always....as I recalled from the past and again now in the same way which everyone has made jokes about forever....they aren't kidding. This is one undisputed fact that no one can argue against I'm afraid. Like any drug...the initial benefits quickly diminished after several days and it required more to get to the same level as time went on up to a point. After a week...this plateau'd and remained constant from that point on. I found that into the second week....the after effect started to take on a more daily feeling of melancholy that was difficult to shake. This is what I remembered from the past and I didn't like it then and still don't like it to this day. I experimented by alternating days and found that this helped that out quite a bit. It seems the build up of regular daily use appears to diminish rather quickly and soon returns to normal after one or two days. It also maintains a better over all effect by cycling the doses with intermittent breaks of abstinence than trying to chase the dragons tale and continuing to increase the dosage which only diminishes the benefits even more. As for sleep...I already covered that and it helped tremulously in getting any needed sleep to recover if I was feeling worn down or chronically tired.
My overall conclusion for myself is not much different than I noticed years ago and I pretty much came to the same conclusion about Marijuana for myself except discovering the important distinction between Indica and Sativa. This was no lie and was a very accurate assessment in my case. I would pick pure Sativa over Indica in a heart beat now. The down sides were far less than with the Indica and the up sides were better too. If all you want to do and pull up on the couch and watch movies all day....then Indica does a pretty good job plus...an extra nap in the middle of the afternoon and a great appetite for dinner and junk food.
I can see some benefits here and I see the down sides too. You can't separate them or choose to have either without the other. I'm skeptical as to any perceived benefits for daily use or as a prescibed medication for ADHD based on myself but....I can see a real short term or single time use on occasion as needed as an alternative for temporary relief from anxiety, insomnia and loss of appetite especially if you are taking Adderall and have experienced a decrease in appetite or a temporary means to buffer any negative side effects of the Adderall itself (not daily...only on days of higher agitation or irritation and tension) because of the effect that it sometimes has if other things have exasurbated this. If used wisely and judiciously....I think it has it place but on a daily basis and doing it all the time especially people who wake and bake and smoke it all day long....I cannot see any benefit what so ever in fact....just the opposite is true in my humble opinion.
I plan to follow my own advise and use it sparingly as I feel the need. I have to admit....a part of me simply enjoyed it again after many years of not smoking and I still think there is some benefit in just feeling good sometimes. I think the research and mountains of evidence to support that the risks are far less than other thing you could be doing as long as you are smart and don't over do it. Just like anything else? At least where I live....the stigma and the illegality is no longer an issue which in mind....was the smartest thing our state could have ever done.
Before I forget to mention....most definitely.....I spent more time in the kitchen scrounging for things to eat. Vanilla ice cream, peanut butter and chocolate syrup proved to be my favorite thing to eat after smoking pot. What can I say? lol
J
Does anyone elses significant
Submitted by honeyblonde on
Does anyone elses significant other smoke marijuana on a regular basis?
I wanted to comment on this... As I am dealing with a similar issue as well as so many others. Yes, my ADHD H was a daily smoker. Apparently before I met him in college he was a heavy drinker. Although as many ADHD men he popped right out of bed in the mornings and went to class ( I can't say the same for myself ). Anyway, I was the same as you, didn't really care and was fairly tolerant. We were dating, no children and we both worked, so it didn't seem to affect our relationship or harm anyone. I would say addictive but he argues that it's not addictive, blah blah. He sort of had a routine in th evenings. Eat smoke, eat smoke, TV bed, or his his case couch. Again, like a lot of bachelors. When we moved in together I realized that it was completely habitual. He couldn't waver from this routine. He was addicted. He panicked, moaned and groaned and thee tantrums when I would bring up my disapproval. He was always zoned out. Not in the present. And certainly not sober. My initial issue was the mess and the items he left behind. He completely disregarded my feelings about any of it and did not change his habits at all. Once in a while I would get a win, and he would stop for a day or two, and swear he had been waiting it hour for weeks. We have literally had hundreds of fights over this. It is probably the main issue to lead me to finding the possibility of his ADHD. Trust me, if it's a problem now, it will not get better. He knows he needs to clean it up to get a better job, but he can't put the pieces together. He knows we can't have a child under these circumstances, but he doesn't put those pieces together either. He knows how much it upsets me find paraphernalia lying around in random places, but he doesn't put the pieces together. I'm learning that his brain can not piece together sensible solutions or cause and effect. Plus it's not free, plus I could be sick, and he doesn't comprehend why I wouldn't want to be near the smoke. He just continues to do what he's always done and will consider no other options... No matter how much it hurts me, Us , or our future.
We we a re newly married. I saw the signs, but I expected him to grow out of it with new phases of our life, like marriage family and children, I am learning that isn't the case. His ADHD doesn't really allow those thoughts to get through.
He has many excuses for it. He thinks he can't sleep without it, but he falls fast asleep in less than 5 minutes every time he lays his head down. He worries that he can't eat without it, he eats just fine. Now that he's accepted that he may very well be suffering with ADHD issues, he thinks it's the best medicine for it. What he doesn't think about its that we have financial issues. Maybe he shouldn't be wasting it on something that we argue so often Over that is not a necessity. Or that he should be able to pass a drug test so that he can apply for a better paying professional job. He's jumpy and paranoid, he thinks it calms his nerves, but he doesn't realize, that he's paranoid and jumpy because he has an illegal substance in his home or car or pants pocket... And who knows where else he's just set it and forgot. He thinks it helps his mood, but what he doesn't think is that is smoking a mood altering drug daily affects his overall mood and makes him edgy and irritable.
As as you can see it's a big problem for me, and for us. One of the 3 biggest issues regarding the ADHD. I have a lot of feelings about it.
My best advice, and I'm totally new to this and just working through it... And haven't made the best decisions thus far, but decide what you want for your future. From what I can tell. What's happening now, won't change on it's own.
I doubt he will just grown tired of it or grow out of it.
In our relationship, it's just one more thing he likes, enjoys and cares about more than me, my feelings or my needs.
Good luck, and I welcome any thoughts.
I Think You Are Mostly Right
Submitted by kellyj on
on your feelings about your H and his pot smoking but I see this maybe slightly differently than you. Instead of disagreeing with you on this...I'll just give you my personal opinion about what I have witnessed and seeing the same things that you see? Some of my opinions come from talking with people who are dependent on it and to point out again.....I've never seen this part in myself but I think I can explain that better by comparing what others have told me that seems to be the difference...
And yes....I think your right. I don't see these people growing out of it either like I did. I have friends who did this along with me at approximately the same time in fact....the first person I ever smoked it with when I was 15 years old also quit around the same time and we both agreed independently of each other the same thing. We did just got tired of it for the same reasons at about the same time.
Having said that.....we share a common friend who has pretty severe ADHD who smokes it daily...all day off and on from morning to night and swear by it to help him just stay level. It doesn't seem to change him at all and I can't tell a difference in him from one day to the next before or after he smokes it. He seems just the same to me either way? For me.....you would immediately know the difference! lol (based on the things that I already said....yes...you would notice it for sure ha ha)
I asked our friend one day about his ADHD and how it effects him....and his immediate answer was "my problems are no so much related to ADHD ...it has more to do with anxiety."
There you go. What I said about my anxiety going POOF....after smoking it says it all.
My personal opinion? I think any argument in favor of it aside from relieving anxiety on a daily basis is BS to say the least. On the other hand....if it works for that with some people.....I have nothing else to say against it. I think your thoughts about the reason he is jumpy or paranoid because of the fear it's illegal or getting caught might be better explained by anxiety instead of what you are speculating though. Just my opinion here only...you may know more about this specific to your H than me?
I think that's the real dependency though....in relief of anxious feelings and trying to temper them using it for that alone. It does work for that and if some people don't experience the same downsides as I do and get this kind of relief from it....I could see where they would be pretty protective of it and not wanting to give it up for that reason alone. I even asked my T about this a long time ago when I was making a similar complaint about an old girlfriend who smoked it all the time and I was pretty disgruntled by the whole thing back then and saw it as a problem in our relationship because I didn't like being around it all the time plus all the legal fears your mentioned.
His comment to me pretty much said that if that was the worse thing I had to deal with and be affected by.....I should consider myself lucky. Unless it was a problem for me.....people who he sees who use it like this don't seem to have any real problems associated with it and other things in their life that really are more concerning.
That was his way of telling me....that the problem I had with my old girlfriend was my problem not hers. I thought about this and remembered once when she ran out and couldn't find any. She turned pretty mean and nasty and was no fun to be around until she got some and then calmed down. But otherwise...she was pretty mellow and easy to be around?
This to me was very telling. It wasn't pot withdrawal she was suffering from in my opinion....it was not having it to calm her anxiety and without it...she started to come unglued.
That's my take of why someone gets up and smokes it all day. Anxiety relief. I think no matter what your H tells you otherwise (only because he doesn't know himself I don't think)....this is why he feels the way he does about it and why he needs it for that reason alone.
This is why I did the experiment. To see what it did for me that was helpful. Anxiety and stress relief was the only positive effect it has and the only reason for me to want to do it and for no other reason.
That's my take for what it's worth:)
J
I agree with you as well.
Submitted by honeyblonde on
I agree with you as well.
He and I go back and forth on my opinion of him having an addiction. So I get it, it's not "addictive", but it's a crutch and a habit.
Also so with the anxiety. I agree that it mostly relieves his anxiety, but I. His words he feels more focused, from the outside looking in, he's more distracted and either super... And I mean super hyper and excitable, or completely lethargic and zoned out. Also comes the eating and snacking and mess and forgetfulness.
So this is where a partner can get annoyed. He works 50+ hours, he comes home has a handful of things to do around the house ... Most of which need a reminder to get completed. He rushes through everything to get to his "relax" habit and watch tv and smoke. When that happens every evening... And then on the weekends as well, it's frustrating. He isn't putting the time in with me, His only focus is that. He halfa** does his part of the household responsibilities then just wants on get to the relaxing part, and really it doesn't leave time for the marriage. Discussing bills, discussing dreams , our future. If we do he's not really engaged or present and then there's the issue of the messy aftermath and the forgetfulness... So it's just outright annoying... From a partners point of view.
Realistically, he chooses it over me. He thinks work is important enough to not be stoned, why isn't his marital time as important?
I feel like you, that the social aspect of it once in a while is not really an issue, a take it or leave it attitude, but since I've had the up close, day to day, perspective, I realize it's a dangerous crutch and honestly I believe he has a dependency to this act. (maybe not the drug itself)
Realistically, he chooses it over me.
Submitted by kellyj on
Realistically, he chooses it over me. He thinks work is important enough to not be stoned, why isn't his marital time as important? Exactly. This is what became both annoying and even hurtful or disrespectful behavior when it comes to making that choice. You are always second in every case. It really is addictive behavior even if it's not a true addiction? I don't know if it's not to tell you the truth....not sure where to draw the line?
But...as my T was trying to get me to see....that if a person needs a crutch (like for a broken leg) to help them walk......is that an addiction to the crutch that helps them? And if it is.......then how can you argue it or try and take that from them even if it has this effect on you? Would you see this differently if you saw the crutch as being necessary or unnecessary and do you have the right to make that decision for them if it really does help. If you saw it as necessary for them to function better in all other areas.....you wouldn't see it as them "picking" or "choosing" it over you?
I know what you are saying and I feel the same way. I think I draw the line when the "crutch" starts having adverse effects on me? If not....se la vie. If it's only a necessary annoyance like anything else that people we live with have that we don't care for....then that's all it is?
I will have to say however....I don't think it helps with connecting with other people. That becomes a trade off rather than a crutch and where I start drawing the line between annoyance and making a choice for it instead of you. I totally agree with you there.
The one good thing that legality has done in my state for example has reduced the cost with no penalty since you can legally grow it. It's cheap to grow and a lot less expensive than other medications....a lot less!! Or it can be. My next door neighbor grew some and just handed me some the other day when I went over to see his "new plants". It's nice to see them just sitting on his patio out in plain view plus.....they're kind of cool to grow and my neighbor seems to be enjoying the whole gardening aspect of it. He has some anxiety issues as well so I can see the benefit for someone who needs it for this and not having to pay through the nose for prescriptions meds. He has more than he needs by growing it legally and it's legal to give it away as long as you don't sell it for money. That's cool. Flood the market....drop the price and make the value drop for career drug traffickers. They will have to go find somewhere else to go. From the climate here so far....it seems that this is working with text book predictability.
Ugh, I wrote a very thought
Submitted by honeyblonde on
Ugh, I wrote a very thought out response and it wouldn't post, and now I think it's lost! I'll try again when I have another free HOUR!