Submitted by Numb on 11/11/2014.
I would like to hear your experiences about people who have ADD and are passive aggressive.
Is this a common combination? What can I do as a spouse?
I would like to hear your experiences about people who have ADD and are passive aggressive.
Is this a common combination? What can I do as a spouse?
Hi,
Submitted by Standing on
Hi,
My spouse is add and diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. One of the factors that was revealed by his psych eval is that he is "rebellious, but may not appear so".
Yes, quite passive aggressive.
If he feels too insecure or weak to confront someone directly about an issue which has aggravated him (and Every one/thing that does not bow to him and acknowledge him as superior - aggravates him) he will find a way to restore his internal balance by somehow punishing. With me, it could be something as simple as turning up annoying music when I was trying to do bookwork. Usually, I ignored it, but the cumulative effects do take their toll.
I'm sorry, I do not have any practical tips, but my gut tells me that if you're dealing with someone who is able to communicate at all about what's going on inside of him, maybe he can be drawn out so that the urge to pull these clever acts of retribution will fade?
Unfortunately, that did not work in my case, since he requires total submission in all things and I refused to disappear as an individual. Sorry you're facing this! Can you give examples of what's happening?
Hi Numb...Here's my thoughts from past experience.
Submitted by c ur self on
I think many behaviors can spawn off of add or a fast mind. In my case the passive aggressive behaviors I feel are intentional, and are an attempt to gain acceptance.
When two people in a relationship or so very different and lack commonality in most every aspect of daily living. It's just human nature for there to be pressure applied by both parties. If not recognized and dealt with by adding boundaries to protect ourselves and a psychological redirect toward acceptance, and respect for personal preference, then both the non and the adder can slip into Psychological manipulation attempts to promote there life styles.
My advice for you is to ask yourself if any of the above could be part of what is going on in your relationship? Can we set down and explore it rationally or with a counselor? If not, and the passive aggressive continues. I would give you the answer that works for most poor behaviors. Do not engage it in any form, have no verbal or physical response.
When behaviors by one person is doing the job they intend for it to do in a relationship (intentionally or unintentionally) why would they ever seek to change it?
I've found in my own life that applying pressure to another adult that I view as "common sense" may not be that for them, so in my frustrations of seeing no results to my efforts, I can get verbally abusive, (beating a dead horse if you will) even though that that I seek is right. But, when we press another adult to change (regardless of our intentions) we or seeking to control, and that will only produce more resistance, more passive aggressive tendencies.
I have found in my relationship, prayer, simple acts of love, boundaries and trying to live a life of being responsible is all I can do...Add, and it's effects still jump up and bite us, but, when I do not react to it....And walk away, at that point I become a mirror for her...If I react, then I'm too blame:) .
I hope things can be better for you, and you find the secrets to peace, even in the chaos...Blessings....