We had two very important things going on during the same week. We had a special visitor at our church who comes every 6 months for a special week of activity, and my dear nieces who moved away from us 6 months ago (they now live 4 hours away) had a dance recital. We've all taken the move hard since previously we'd been there for every major event in their lives from first ultrasound onward and most of the minor ones too! The only thing that they didn't hate and detest every second of their new home was dance class, so we have all been REALLY encouraging the dancing and we've planned to do family pictures when we all go up for the recital for almost the whole 6 months they have been gone.
Problem #1: Important meeting was scheduled with the visitor on the same day as the recital. Husband organized a meeting of the 10-15 of us involved in that meeting, and everyone agreed on an alternate day.
Problem #2: The person who was talking to the visitor to set up the schedule decided not to mention the alternate day. Still not sure why, but know he didn't forget. Guess they were caught up in other arrangements and he decided this one wasn't that important. He also didn't tell anyone, so we were all shocked when the visitor told us what time we were supposed to show up.
This is a very important and encouraging meeting for each of us involved. I've never missed one in the 19 years I have been able to attend, and I was feeling heartbroken and angry since we had a solution that wasn't implemented. Hubby was very consoling though I refused to consider any alternate option a good one. Hubby also REALLY needed to attend because of a position he has, so we were also facing the possiblity that he'd have to stay behind and miss the recital and the family pictures. You can imagine how happy everyone was about that.
Hubby discussed 3 options with me--I couldn't even come up with 1 since I was so upset: 1. Listen in on the phone--someone had done that last year and it was a pain but I thought it was our best option. 2. Attend the outlined portion of the meeting at another location--this is generally not really successful without a GOOD reason to miss your own. The only time I've done this is when our honeymoon coincided with a visit that we missed. or 3. Get the day and time changed. in my experience this isn't common because once official word comes down and everyone is informed they tend to leave it.
My husband asked me just to give him the chance to fix it. He went to the visitor privately the next morning (SOO not in his nature to ask for anything changed as he doesn't like making waves) and laid out the problem. Visitor agreed to another time (naturally NOT the one we all previously agreed to) provided every other person could make it at that time. He then personally spoke to every person involved (within 2 hours he had approval from everyone--even though it caused hassle for some of them they were willing to switch because they knew how important the family plans were to us).
He then went back and got official word on the change....THEN he followed up personally with every other person to make sure they knew it was official. One family even asked him to follow up with them the next day at a certain time so that he wouldnt forget (yeah that one is big on an ADDers list), but guess what? The next day when I reminded him to call, he had already done it!
My ADD husband is fabulous at taking care of things that he deems are important. I wish I knew how to tap into that to help him appreciate the importance of other things at times, but I can't fault him when he really sees something as a big deal he moves heaven and earth and brings his creativity into play to get it done.
I really really love this man :) Plus we had a fabulous special week of activiity AND a fabulous time with my family, and all we had to miss was the Sunday services with them (since we wanted to get back for our visit) and Sunday lunch. Didn't love it, but I can sure live with that!
Hooray!!!
Submitted by sapphyre on
We need more positive stories like this... I'm mad at my hubby now, so can't think of one... but there are some, sometimes.
His psychiatrist is married to a woman with ADHD, and at least 2 of their four grown children have it. He says, "In a crisis, you *want* someone with ADHD around... because they think super fast on their feet and are great problem solvers."
He likes us to think of ADDers as scalpels (vs breadknives), thoroughbreds (vs draught horses), and race cars (vs the family wagon)... they are niche filling people... we all just have to learn our strengths and weaknesses, and do our best to complement each other.
Anyway, back to work now....
Thanks!
Submitted by brighthorse on
Thanks for sharing this Aspen! I'm very happy for you, and your story made my day too :-) It's a ray of sunshine...above this sea of negativity
uplifting
Submitted by fuzzylogic72 on
Thanks for sharing this! And for the responder who explained the scalpel/racecar thing. We live in a state of perpetual discouragement, and when we can actually utilize our strengths (focus during times of crisis), creativity, and heart we truly feel alive. Since day to day living doesn't offer too many crisis situations (good thing for normal people, too bad for us lol...) it is so meaningful and encouraging to have it recognized and appreciated that perhaps we actually aren't brain damaged children in adult bodies who just go around maliciously trying to infuriate those who love us after all.
Your positive stories give us adhders hope that we do have a place in this world.
Cheers,
Charlie