I got pregnant in August and for five days I was excited. Then I started bleeding a little bit…every…single…day. I would call the doctor’s office who was so overly dismissive but also gave me a fairly routine response that if it becomes a lot, go to the ER, but otherwise, “some bleeding” can be normal and there’s nothing we can do about it if it isn’t so you have to wait it out. It made for an awful many weeks. My husband was all excited about the pregnancy and we had to tell his parents at 6 wees bc they came in town and I am not the type to get away with no drinking wine all weekend. So we just told them. Him and his mom were very excited and overplanning – kind of strong-armed me into letting her tell his fam ASAp, had her aunt schedule the baby shower, and any time i had reservations his mom would say everything will be fine “miscarriages are rare” (no they arent – shes had two!) and my husband would say I was being negative for bringing up the possibility of miscarriage every day. Well, they say 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage…or if you have some bleeding – 50%. I had not SOME bleeding but DAILY, for 56 straight days, so excuse me for leaning toward feeling not confident about all this. Basically i was made to be negative nelly by him and his mom by being anxiety ridden and worried and voicing my fears of miscarriage daily. at the 9 week ultrasound the heartbeat was fine, but the baby didnt move and it was 2.5 weeks behind in growth. Again he marched on insisting “heartbeat was strong, everything is fine stop being negative.” So then I have a miscarriage at 14 weeks at the end of October…came as no surprise to me. My husband even told his guy friend who is maried to my best friend that he felt “blindsided” by the miscarriage. This guy friend knew all about the history and about my telling him all the time about the fears of miscarrying with the issues i was having and he was like, SHOCKED like “blindsided? REALLY?!?” Fast forward to now and I am 8 weeks pregnant again. This time my symptoms im supposed to have (nausea and hwat have you) are much stronger and no bleeding. In other words, I feel like im on the “80% of pregnancies DONT miscarry” side of trhe equation this time. Yet, we dont have our first appointment until April 5th so until i know more, im cautiously optimistic. We havent been talking about this pregnancy – planning anything – hes much more reserved and i am too, even though i feel way better about it than the last one. Then his parents came in town this weekend and he begins telling them and my brother in law with the words “Now that I have everyone here, I want to make an announcement. As you know, last year we tried to have a baby and that did not work out…” I coudnt handle his ceremonious awkward announcement that started off for SOME reason by rehashing the miscarriage so i blurt out “im pregnant!” and his parents are like “yay!” and he just kind of gets annoyed and is like WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO TELL THEM AND THEN STEAL MY THUNDER?” so i just sort of ignored him. Then last night i say “i hope everything goes well April 5th!” (first ultrasound) and ive said that a couple times htis past week as that first appointment nears. He AGAIN tells me (like last time) that I am being “negative”. “Why have i heard nothing about the pregnancy but that you MIGHT miscarry again.” To which i say, i feel good, like im on the 80% side but until i have all the information i will respect the 20% possibility and be cautious. That’s not being negative. He pushes me again, again calling it negative, so i bring up Friday nights announcement and say, “the only person being negative is the person who cant bring up happy news without rehashing the miscarriage.” He then responds back trying to make me out to be the bad guy for interrupting him and saying it. I explained that i can talk about the miscarriage in private to close women or his mom but no, bringing it up in a room of his family members isnt appropriate and not necessary to announce the news…like, he couldnt just say “sorry that was wrong” he has to turn it on me, like im the wrong one. Also, i wasnt going ot bring it back up again except that im again being accused of being negative when i am just beign realistically hopeful about the next ultrasound. I am not sure why he has to be so dense and make everything so complicated. I lean strongly on the facts I know and the scientifically proven statistics associated with those facts and likelehood of miscarriage- and I react to a pregnancy accordingly. That doesn’t make me “negative.” It’s like he wants me to act like everthing’s certain and perfect and great and punishes me for reminding him of reality, but then he can bring up reality in the most awkward, unnecessary way possible and it’s not wrong.
ADHD Husband's Reaction to Pregnancy Stuff
Submitted by kathy1208 on 03/28/2016.
Trust in partnership
Submitted by jennalemone on
I hear you. In my naive young years, some of these very same things ... inappropriateness and ownership of intimate (and sometimes misinterpretation of) information ... happened and I would know it bothered me but not sure why or even if I had the allowance to be bothered by it. Its all the small un-claimable, indescribable things that add up to the feeling like we are not a team. In my opinion, we have an insecure relationship. It is like my H's ego is more important to him than my trust in him. He was mostly on a team of 1.
Yeah, that is kind of how
Submitted by kathy1208 on
Yeah, that is kind of how things go. We are a team only in the way he envisions us to be....or not at all. If he ever encounters ideas/needs/circumstances he did not anticipate and that he does not understand, it is just him and his ego. When he correctly identifies my needs/wants on his own, he follows through and everything is great. But of course when you have two people, some stuff will be understood and anticipated and some won't. It's that latter half that is the problem with him.
I wasn't holding a grudge about the way he mentioned things to his parents, though I was upset that he reacted like I was the bad guy in that scenario (I would say that neither was the bad guy - he said something that made me uncomfortable, and i reacted to it, but move on, it's okay)...it's just when he has to act like i was the bad guy by interrupting him, and then last night all i do is say i "hope" our appointment goes okay, its again all about him....apparently my "I HOPE" statement is a loaded statement bc yes implicit in it is the idea that nothing is a sure thing. He doesn't want anyone reminding him that something isn't a sure thing. Instead of being a team - my wife is hopeful but apprehensive, and so am I, so i will hug her and share this moment between us - he thinks "she just reminded me that this isn't a sure thing - thats stressful and scary - how dare she - im going to lash out at her for eliciting these negative emotions in me by calling her "negative".
I dont get it.
Also I learned from the last
Submitted by kathy1208 on
Also I learned from the last pregnancy/miscarriage that my husband clearly cannot handle the uncertainty and how out of his control it all is. So, I find out about this one March 2nd, and I will share with him that I feel nauseated or tired (bc those are good signs the pregnancy is a healthy one), but i purposely had gone the previous 25 days knowing about the pregnancy and shielding him from any complicated thoughts/fears/etc.....or so I thought. He is apparently that unable to manage the emotions and uncertainly of all this that even a "I hope things will be okay" statement is too much for him. It kills me bc i am TRYING to accommodate his clear deficiency with emotionally managing the uncertainties of pregnancy by not bringing all that stuff up - i have plenty of girlfriends to talk to about it, so no problem - but the ONE time i try to connect with my husband on my apprehension about it, he cannot do it. He doesnt see i have bent over backwards to try to prevent his negative feelings this time, but he hasnt done a darn thing with respect to supporting ME emotionally. He simply cannot. He can pick up the slack around the house and whatnot, but when it comes to the more complex abstract emotional part he is utterly incapable.
Count your blessings...
Submitted by Delphine on
Yes, it would be ideal if he could be there for you more with emotional issues, but if he can pick up the slack around the house, that is a huge plus here in ADHD partnership land!
Also it is very, very common for men in general, not just those with ADHD, to have a hard time dealing with emotions. They prefer to involve themselves in things that can be solved. As you know, emotions aren't so easily "fixed."
Several of my favorite books on relationship are: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, The Conscious Person's Guide To Relationships by Ken Keyes Jr., and Don't Sweat The Small Stuff In Love by Richard and Kristen Carlson. I feel the advice in those books would be helpful to anyone, not just those in relationship with ADHD partners.
Just a thought--is it really so bad that you can't share your doubts and fears with him? Remember, our thoughts and words are powerful. Why not simply let go and trust that everything will work out for the best? Even if it seems to be "going wrong" at some point. I know this has been an important lesson for me, as I am a world-class worrier! I happen to believe that our babies pick up this kind of thing, also, even in the womb. Keep telling yourself, your partner, and your baby that all is well--and it will be!
A new baby, so exciting! Keep us posted :) A cyber-pal just gave birth to a baby girl, and it was an exceptionally easy birth, which she attributes in large part to consistent high dosing with vitamin C. She shared her story here:
http://www.healingwithnutrition.org/pregnancy-and-birth-of-a-vitamin-c-baby
Delphine
Delphine,
Submitted by kathy1208 on
Delphine,
No, youre right, its not so terrible if I just keep any concerns to myself. What I have learned about my husband is when his emotional switch gets turned on he gets carried away quickly, and while I dont feel NEARLY as concerned about this pregnancy as I did the last one bc of lack of complications so far this time, I still just fee;l the general uncertainty that is natural in the first trimester. I did make a point to tell myself I would shield my husband from those concerns. However, I didn't realize the "I 'hope' things go well on the 5th" comment was one of those. It really set him off and incited anxieties in him far greater than anything ive remotely felt this time. I just really need to keep it to myself. I wish he was more supportive but he can't be. I do understand that my husband is a bit of a control freak/fixer about things and pregnancy is so completely otu of his hands that he has no way to respond to potential problems/worries/issues without just being set off on his emotional rollercoaster.
Hi Kathy
Submitted by c ur self on
After reading your post; what seems clear to me is you are both experiencing the same anxieties....Just be aware of this, and try not to discuss it to much...The things we have no control over; but wish we did, have a way of being a stumbling block to our unity.
You have your husband; and he has you...Just be there for each other and Love the fire out of each other; the rest will work it self out.....
C
I will try!!! Thank you :) :)
Submitted by kathy1208 on
I will try!!! Thank you :) :)