Okay, what follows is cliche, but I know throughout my life I probably didn't really hear the message clearly enough to provoke lasting confidence, so I'm going to repeat it.
I went for a job interview the other day. I'd spent a lot of time preparing for it, anchored by the 100 lbs. stalagmites that form in my stomach drip by drip of self denegation as I prep for the anticipatory answer to the "why all over?" questions.
I got the job, actually a grander one than I applied for. I was as surprised as you are.
So, this morning, I started analyzing why I got the job. The simple fact is that these people have a small budget and a lot of work. A lot of diverse work, and I can do it all.
Because I'm so curious, craved sensory stimulation, couldn't make up my mind, I've tried a lot of things and learned a lot of skills. It's the "play" Dr. Hallowell references in "Delivered from Distraction."
Because I finally got a handle on all those experiences and narrowed them down to the subsection/interconnection of three interest areas, I was able to articulate my strengths and goals to the interviewer.
Because I was creative, I was able to find a job that matched that intersection, which other, more narrowly focused people, might not have recognized.
So, if you are going through a scattered period, remember this success story. You do have strengths, they just may look different than the "norm." Use your talents for big picture thinking and creativity and then buckle down to the analysis of your experiences (or delegate this chore - calling all partners!), make a reasoned commitment, and then go for it in your wholehearted, ADHD manner.
Congrats Nettie!!
Submitted by Aspen on
That is an exciting success story!! My husband struggles somewhat to see his strengths either because of his ADD (it is mild so sometimes hard to tell how it fits in) or because he was just raised to be a humble person who doesn't toot his own horn. I tell him you can know and appreciate your strengths without announcing them to the world! LOL He was a bit ignored by his parents as they have a problem child 2 years younger than him, and he really does his best not to be any problem to anyone. Still does as a matter of fact.
I have no trouble seeing his strengths as a person and I have been trying to work on pointing out how much those strengths help our lives more than (or at the very least as much as) his scattered thinking and lack of self-analysis complicate our lives. I was raised in a house of overachievers where change was encouraged at least somewhat by pointing out what was wrong. I respond to that because in my life there isn't much *wrong* whereas that tactic shuts him right down since so much about his ADD is of the negative impact variety.
A lot of people talk about positive things ADD brings to the table, but I roll my eyes at a lot of it (though certainly true of my husband) because most if not all of those things are all true of me, and my siblings, and my friends, and none of us have ADD. Too many times those are just traits of people and crediting my husband's generosity or whatever to ADD, I feel is diminishing the quality of his personality itself--he's a great guy simple fact.
I think for a good discussion of the positives of ADD, we need stories like this one. A trait that many would consider to be negative (inability to focus in an area) that has actually been a negative in your life (makes it hard to interview for jobs/is looked down on by potential employers) is turned into a strength by learning the interconnection & taking advantage of your ability to *think outside the box* to turn it into a valuable thing for your potential employer. This is an ADD strength I can get behind and that excites me :) Thank you!
A Big DUH Here :-)
Submitted by Hoping4More on
Hey Aspen,
You said: "I was raised in a house of overachievers where change was encouraged at least somewhat by pointing out what was wrong. I respond to that because in my life there isn't much *wrong* whereas that tactic shuts him right down since so much about his ADD is of the negative impact variety." I also have no problem when someone points out something that I do wrong. In fact, i appreciate it, because it gives me something to improve. i don't think I ever gave much thought, though, to the fact that part of why I appreciate it is that it doesn't happen so often. Contrast that with my wife, who often feels like she is doing something *wrong.* So no wonder someone pointing it out to her only makes her feel worse, get defensive, etc. A big DUH here. Thanks!