Submitted by dedelight4 on 04/01/2014.
Does anyone know if women are more willing to work with their ADHD than men? (not ALL, just a greater number) It seems like some of the wives with ADHD are more willing to work with their ADHD, than it is the men (husbands) with ADHD. (again not ALL, but maybe more) I've read that some of the wives even become more like the non-ADHD spouse in a double ADHD marriage. Is there a reason for this? or is this a possibility?
no choice
Submitted by ellamenno on
I think for most of us women with ADHD, we have no choice. Especially if we have kids. I realize there are some husbands/dads out there who share housework and parenting duties equally with their wives, but for the vast majority of the population, these things all fall to the women. we HAVE to do the laundry, cook, pickup the kids from school, change the diapers, feed the kids, remember the homework, remember the permission slips, remember the play dates, birthdays, ballet lessons, piano lessons, clean the bathrooms, the floors, the kitchen, the car etc. etc. etc. We may not do them perfectly or in the most efficient way, but we HAVE to do all these things because otherwise the house will be floor to ceiling dirty laundry and garbage, the kids will be filthy and hungry and CPS will come take them away because we forgot to bring them to school for a month.... you get the picture... Men/fathers with jobs are expected to leave it all to their wives. If they say they need to leave the office on time because it's their night to cook dinner, it wouldn't fly. And, sadly, even when they are around, many of them (non-ADHD men included) don't notice the necessary tasks their wives are doing. They come home and sit on the couch, absorbed in their electronics or TV while the women and children whirl busily around them with homework and dinner prep.
I get anxious when anyone watches me work, cook or clean etc. because I'm aware that I do things very inefficiently and I will always be embarrassed when someone will point out that I'm doing something in a stupid or backward way. Or, what's really embarrassing is if someone is watching me cook, or do some task and they just can't stand my slowness or stupidity and they shove me out of the way and say, 'Hmmph! oh, just let ME do it!!!" In fact, the very fact that someone is watching me can make me do things in a different and even more backward way, just because i'm so self conscious!
Holy crap! Awesome
Submitted by smilingagain on
Holy crap! Awesome response!
agree, agree, agree!
In my case, I take care of all the above (house, kids, spouse) and my full-time job involves a lot of mental effort, juggling tasks, time management, attention to detail, good judgment, reading and writing dense prose.
As Ellameno said- the potential consequences of me not managing my adhd symptoms are pretty dire for my kids and that is pretty much 100% what motivates me. They include the following:
Yeah- with my husband's adhd symptoms spiralling out of control over the past 2 years... It's been on me to keep it all together. In the summer, when my baby was still an infant and waking at night... I remember feeling like I was barely holding things together- like desperately clinging to the unravelling seams... Therapy, meds, exercise, healthy diet, sleep... I have to be diligent about all of these things, or it is incredibly difficult to remember everything, to get it all done, and to do it pleasantly. And to feel good. I want to feel good on top of it all. :) and I want to kick ass. And I want to have fun.
and frankly- I am doing it! I can do it because I am freaking super-woman (just like most of the mothers I know)!
now I haven't addressed here the question I think the original posted was getting at- are adhd women more willing to work on adhd issues than adhd men? I think the question is meant to include working on marital issues caused by adhd symptoms....
Honestly- I have always been self-reflective and I always seek to target my flaws and right my wrongs. But until I was diagnosed and treated, a lot of my efforts were in vain because- I simply could not control myself or my thoughts- no matter how much I tried, wished, or thought about it... I could create sparkling first impressions, which I then could not maintain... These were not deliberate ruses put on to fool people. This was me putting my best foot forward and hoping for the best ... As I always do.
This unsustainable first impression also appeared in my relationships... I would be hyper focused on my new partner for about a year... then one day just disinterested. Like a light switch. It would baffle me, so I would stay in it too long, hoping for a reversal back to bliss... I would do more damage doubling down instead of kindly cutting it off... Trying to talk myself into it because how the hell could have been so wrong? Again? Eventually I would stumble across a new love-interest and that would give me the push to break off the old thing- secure that I had someone in the wings who would eat all my emotions. I needed someone to just absorb my emotions. I wasn't't aware that was what I was doing- but in retrospect, I clearly was afraid to be alone with myself.
Until my husband, I bailed on every relationship, instead of digging in, when things got tough. Mostly these guys didn't really deserve much more of an effort- but there are a few people in my past to whom I owe apologies. I had one sweet, kind, lovely boyfriend who helped me through a major crisis and then a few months later when he became mired in his own tragedies (death of a beloved family member) I made one effort to be there for him and, when he needed space, I turned it around and made it all about me and how his reaction to my trying to be there for him made me feel unloved and unwanted and bad about the relationship. Awful.
The worst part about all of this is that I didn't recognize any of it. My feelings felt legitimate. My actions felt justified.
If I hadn't married my husband, I would likely have done the same to him- but marriage actually means a great deal it me and my husband was (and sometimes still is) the most loving, deserving partner. I have focused tremendous energy and effort towards maintaining the relationship over 13 long years (11 married). Sometimes I am more successful than others. I never knew why things were such a struggle until I was diagnosed a few years ago... When my husband was diagnosed, it all started making sense... We are like two radios playing fuzzy broken music on different channels trying to synch up...
To be totally honest- As much as I love my husband, which is a lot, I would have left him over the past year (during one of his many verbally abusive tantrums) but for the kids. Becoming aware of my condition gave me the tools to change. And the awareness of how things truly are. I will stay with my husband through this tough time (job transition), because I want him. To be okay and I care vitally about him. I hope and pray that he can embrace treatment and get his behaviour in check so we can stay together. Because I love him and the kids love him and love being a family.
But- if my husband can't... I will have to think about my kids and balance out the pros and cons for them of both scenarios and make a choice that is in their best interests.
so to answer your question- yes I think women work on adhd symptoms and particularly those that impact the marriage more than their male counterparts... But that is generally true for women and men. Women are typically and biologically greatly motivated by their children. That instinct to protect is screaming all through our bodies...
Isn't that also why a lot of you nons ultimately stay or ultimately leave?
sorry for the novel I have penned here. Ha ha. It's late. I am up medicated and need to put myself to bed ASAP or tomorrow is going to be terrible. :(
abrupt awkward sign off? Check. Yep. Done it again.
:)
Smilingagain, your list of
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Smilingagain, your list of things you want for your children is true for me, too. Thanks for summing it up so well. (And I hope you slept well!)
Bless you Rosered. i know you
Submitted by smilingagain on
Bless you Rosered.
i know you are in a really tough spot with your husband right now. If you decide to leave him- you cannot be faulted for that. You have tried your best and done everything within your power to try to help him and try to improve things.
much love and support to you honey.
:)
the secret of smilingagain :)?
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
How do you do it all? I am impressed. What's your secret besides meds, exercise, etc...? Time management is my most challenging ADHD symptom, by far...
My husband does have to remind me of things... I can't imagine being married to someone with ADHD, simply because my ADHD has always been so severe. And yet, from your posts, I KNOW you have been though A LOT.
ADHDMomof2
Wow.
Submitted by ellamenno on
I could have written this:
<<This unsustainable first impression also appeared in my relationships... I would be hyper focused on my new partner for about a year... then one day just disinterested. Like a light switch. It would baffle me, so I would stay in it too long, hoping for a reversal back to bliss... I would do more damage doubling down instead of kindly cutting it off... Trying to talk myself into it because how the hell could have been so wrong? Again? >>
and also: <<The worst part about all of this is that I didn't recognize any of it. My feelings felt legitimate. My actions felt justified.>>
Thankfully, my husband has never verbally abused me and has been supportive and tolerant (although always irritated and frustrated by my symptoms). I really need to get on top of exercise and get a better therapist. I need to 'feel good on top of it' too. Right now feel like I'm just a breath away from dropping all the balls I'm juggling and I'm feeling some of the old anxiety creeping in.
You really are amazing!
Juggling Balls
Submitted by kellyj on
Your post caught my eye........actually, the comment," dropping all the balls I'm juggling ". I'm finding it interesting the choice of words and phrases that the ADHD people seem to have in common (including myself *male)........visual images. I have trouble communicating without them.....as well as lots of animated gestures and drawing pictures at the same time whenever possible in person.......
But to the point...... in a very literal sense.......I have discovered that across the board in everything that I do.....I have a very set and unmovable limit in my ability in the number of things I can do effectively/efficiently until all the balls drop.
Until I hit this point, I do pretty well in most respects and my ADHD symptoms also appear very subdued.
After I hit my limit (insert something).......I drop all the balls at once.
This thinking literally came from the fact that I had taken up juggling for a brief period when I was younger learning from a roommate I had. I never became very good but was able to juggle a finite number of balls in the air at one time. (remembering 4?) But that was it.....I could never get to 5 and every time I tried....they all fell to the floor.
Remembering from years ago....I have begun to notice how consistent this analogy has been in everything else I do.
The connection I have made in respect to my ADHD is this:
I tend to be like a hungry person going through a cafeteria line in all things I do......too much food on my plate to eat at one time. Every time I do this and reach my limit......I drop all the balls and with it......also comes the old anxiety as you mentioned.
You would think that this would be easy and obvious for me to figure out yet, it's taken up until now to really cement this idea into my head...... and I still do it in spite of this fact!
But since I still continue to do this (honestly less than I use to since becoming so aware of it)....it has really given me the chance to actually count the balls I can juggle until I reach my juggling limit in any given area.
I can't tell you how useful this has been in setting limits for myself and reducing the anxiety that would appear to have been self imposed so often in my life.
It's like........ duh. That's wasn't so hard to figure out?? I feel like a complete idiot at times like this but I guess......I'm not alone.
I'm sorry for going off on this one reference that you made...but it triggered the whole litany of things I just said when I saw it. Funny how that happens.
Good luck with finding a way to keep your old anxiety down. FYI....excercise is like the magic cure for everything for me. just say'in.
J
RE: Juggling Balls
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
JJamieson,
1. Is it wrong that I was amused to see "balls" in the title of a post? Couldn't resist...;) On a serious note, I use this analogy as well. I wouldn't say I drop ALL the balls, because I have two human beings who depend on me, but I definitely start screwing up more; the house goes to hell, which leads to a more chaotic mind, which leads to forgetting more things, and even worse time management issues, etc... It's all connected for me. For example, this week, progress reports were due for my students, so my house went to hell. Spent all day yesterday cleaning it. Came here to post as a break. It definitely causes my OLD ANXIETY to increase in intensity.
2. I, too, have learned I can handle a finite number of things, and my finite is lower than other people's: my husband's, my friends, and basically every woman on the planet who doesn't have ADHD. This aggravates the crap out of me and makes me feel frustrated and alone. Like NO ONE gets what I have to do to get through the day. Also quite tired, since my to-do list can be impossible to accomplish without sacrificing sleep. It's a balancing act, because sleep is necessary for proper executive functioning. Sometimes, I just have to say "screw it" and go to bed, because sleep is more important, but I still feel like I am trying to prioritize between working lungs or a working heart. Both are necessary for survival! Some days are better than others...
3. I need my exercise, too, but until recently it has been hard to come by this school year (am a teacher). I've been overwhelmed and exhausted by the issues with my biochemistry that I have mentioned elsewhere on this post. I normally exercise regularly. I decided recently that I HAD to get back into it, and told myself, "You only have to do 10 minutes, but DO IT!" I said this so I would at least be doing SOMETHING. Now I am starting to get back into a routine, and feel better for it. It was less overwhelming for me to start because of my 10 minute "rule." Those are the kind of games I play with myself when I am too overwhelmed to initiate a task. Works for me!
ADHDMomof2
I don't know your situation.
Submitted by tfarmer on
I don't know your situation. However, as the husband of an ADHD wife I am curious as to why you do not seem to consider the consequences of not dealing with your adhd symptoms as dire in the context of your marriage? From your post it appears your husband is expendable.
Tfarmer-
Submitted by smilingagain on
Tfarmer-
My adhd is well-managed and has been for some time. In my post I was describing events from long ago.
My husband and I have been married for 11 years and together for 14. We may be having a hard time, but my husband is far from expendable. I love my husband very much.
However: if there were ever a serious conflict between my husband's behaviour and my children's health and safety, then Yes; in that situation, my husband would be the expendable one.
Just to clarify for you- My post was not an exhaustive list of the only things that I care about in my life. My post was focused around answering the original poster's question about the differences in how much effort men and women, respectively, put into controlling their adhd symptoms. My answer agreed with ellameno, who hypothesized that it has to do with women's role as mothers.
are you still confused as the husband of an adhd wife?
:)
Thanks for the reply, and yes
Submitted by tfarmer on
Thanks for the reply, and yes, I am still confused by ADHD and likely will be for a long time. But not about your comment.
Cheers!
New to this forum
Submitted by JuneBug on
Hi, I'm new to this forum and I was just diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type about two days ago. I have limited personal experience in dealing with others with (known) adhd. It all started for me when I entered a first blissful then heinously abusive relationship with an ADHD man. One day, his light switch went off and instead of becoming merely disinterested, he became the ugliest, most abusive, hateful and controlling monster I have ever met. I began to research all I could about adhd and relationships, and I noticed how much the innatentove types sounded an awful lot like my sister, and my father... And me. But I brushed it off because there was just no way!none of us are crazy maniacal lunatics like my ex, so I ignored it. After the traumatic breakup in December, I went to LOTS of therapy, and six months later I have now been diagnosed. It's a strange feeling... But all that aside, from my limited experience, this is what I've noticed:
-my ex did almost nothing to work with his adhd except for taking his meds, which usually abused. He would take 6x20mg per day instead of the prescribed three, causing him to be very aggressive and then when he ran out halfway through the month, he would be extremely lethargic and neglectful, waking up only to have tantrums, punch holes in walls, and return to his lair.
- of all my girlfriends who are diagnosed, most seem to take it seriously, adhere to their med regimen, as well as take care of themselves and their lives in the ways that best suit them.
- for me personally, I take it seriously because I am smart enough to realize the consequences are severe. I am not married and I have no children, so I don't really do it because I have to. I've been trying for the past few months to "try harder" and to make adjustments but it was mostly all a failure until now. I am on medication, taking as prescribed, and it's only been two days but I do feel like I "put the glasses on" and I hope my efforts will be more successful now. I do also still see my therapist regularly.
- interestingly, my non-add (new) boyfriend, who is very caring and wonderful, is not taking it seriously. He doesn't doubt the diagnosis but he's not really motivated to educate himself about it beyond what he can find I. Google within five minutes. I'm worried that he doesn't think it has an impact on relationships. I want to build up this relationship solid, and I want to get my act together before I get married and have kids.
its nice to hear that there are ADD women out there who still manage to take good care of their children, it's very inspiring and eases my fears a little bit
Thanks!
Hi ellamenno
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
I love your post. It's true for most women, ADHD or not, and is written in your adorable, hilarious, self-effacing style :).
Don't worry about doing things slower or less efficiently, at least in the sense that you are being judged. I, too, try to improve my efficiency, but if my husband says he will do it because frankly, he is too impatient to watch me do it in my own way, I weigh the pros and cons before agreeing or not. Sometimes, it makes more sense for him to do a task if we are in a hurry. In this case, even though judged, I put my ego aside. Other times, it is purely his issue of being a little bit of a control freak, and I let him know that there is more than one way to skin a cat, as the appalling expression goes. I used to worry about this, but now I'm pretty open about my difficulties and that I must continually work on them. Love me as I am...or not ;)!
Aw, shucks!
Submitted by ellamenno on
Thanks for the kind words...
I've abandoned my ego... I just accept that whenever something is wrong, it's me that is the problem.
I have checklists for my checklists and stick post-its everywhere and send email to myself so I remember what I need to do, and STILL forget stuff.
I make some progress then have setbacks, then crawl out of the hole I've dug and start over. And over,and over and over...
learning to live in an understanding manner :)
Submitted by c ur self on
Momof2 I really messed up with my wife...when we first got married...I was always wanting to what I called HELP her...but I just made her feel....well you get it...Anyway, it's better now...I just leave her in the kitchen, and I say, if you need me, call me...So we are doing so much better now...she actually lets me chop up the Veggies, when she is fixing Asian....:-)
It's all good...
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
I'm sure your heart was in the right place, c ur self :). The important thing is that you have learned to step back and let her do it in her own way.
I like chopping veggies, especially with the new knife I bought from Crate and Barrel. Shiny object ;)?
Thanks, momof2...
Submitted by c ur self on
I'm just having to learn to step back and breathe, tear up my list...and learn to appreciate the people that God has brought into my life, for who they are...:-) My wife likes for me to handle the knives unless she is mad at me:)...She loves to take pictures of label's on sauces, then try to make her own and make it taste better :) She made a real good sauce a while back that i bragged on...She looked at me and said, i can't remember what i put in it ;)...So when i came back in the kitchen a little while later, she has all these in ingredients in a big stack w/ the labels facing forward and she was taking a photo of them ;....Your comments are so funny, and remind me so much of my wife...I would love to see you two in the kitchen together...I don't know what would happen, but, I know there would be a lot of fun and laughter going on...;)
c ur self, 2 ADHD chefs in 1 kitchen? Good Lord...
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
She made a real good sauce a while back that i bragged on...She looked at me and said, i can't remember what i put in it ;)...So when i came back in the kitchen a little while later, she has all these in ingredients in a big stack w/ the labels facing forward and she was taking a photo of them ;....
I have done this a number of times with the soups I make for myself. I have an IDEA of what I want to do, wing it, hope for the best, and have made both great and blah soup. I have learned that if I like the soup, I have to write it down right away after I make, or poof, it's vanished from my mind.
I like to take pictures of things I need to remember, too. It really helps. I do it with supplements I like, gifts I'm going to possibly buy my kids for their b-day or X-mas (while I'm in the planning stages), things I write on the board at school, and many other things. It is a GREAT tool!
Yeah, I know what they say about too many chefs in the kitchen, but what would they say about two ADHD chefs? Don't burn the house down ;)? I bet we would have fun, too.
Fun is an understatement!
Submitted by c ur self on
Its amazing...she could have written this....She has the whole kitchen bar taken up w/ her supplements...and other junk, she has to leave laying out just in case she see's it...lol...I have this little corner neat and organized w/ my 4 that I take faithfully...She don't take her's half the time.. lol...
The Two Stooges
Submitted by kellyj on
thinking just Moe and Curly without Larry. (wise guy eh?.....woop, woop, woop) lol
J
Please don't group us guys like you did...Its not reality :-)
Submitted by c ur self on
Hi ellamenno...My first wife was a wonderful person who had nerve problems, and who also suffered with OCD (Trix) for the 30 years we were married, before I lost her to cancer...She was a great Mom to our girls...But, believe me when i tell you I did my share....Also, my present wife of 6 years, whom I love dearly, is very add...and our house is picked up and dishes are done...There are men in the world, who besides our 9-5, handles dishes, floors, laundry, yards, children, and now my precious grand babies...Men are suppose to be leader's...So, though I make plenty of mistakes...I try to be the responsible adult who does what has to lead...And with my precious add wife...that leading takes on the form of (by example) rolled up sleeves more times than not...blessings! PS...also you should know I don't count myself a victim...I feel very blessed to have the skills and energy God has blessed me with.
Hi c ur self!
Submitted by ellamenno on
I know there are guys like you - and I did say that there are some men who do a lot of housework/childcare. Statistically though, the stereotype persists. My DH does a lot to help with the kids when I'm working and not home - so I'm glad I can count on that. If my mother had gone back to work when we were kids I know that my she would come home to a huge mess and my brother and I would have still been waiting to be picked up from school!
My DH also tries to be 'helpful' and tell me when I'm doing something in a way that is.... umm... a little less than efficient... I'm still struggling to not perceive it as criticism. I know there are ways to do everything that are the very best ways and my way is usually the slowest/most backward. I DO try to adapt when I am told how to do something.... but there are always steps I forget and lots of back-tracking and starting tasks over because something burned, something was left behind or something was not the right thing to begin with....
You sound like a very exceptional person - it's great that you could recognize your wife's anxiety and allow her space to relax and do things 'her way.'
ellamenno
:(
Submitted by c ur self on
I apologize for my post to you...I was just setting here rereading it...It wasn't necessary.
wonderful insight
Submitted by dedelight4 on
Thanks to you who wrote in, and for answering my questions so thoroughly. You given me new depths of insight into my husband's ADHD as well, which helps me immensely. It truly shows how incredibly challenging living with ADHD, and living family life can be. My hat goes off to you all, and you have my deepest respect. Thank you again for posting.
You are absolutely welcome m
Submitted by smilingagain on
You are absolutely welcome m'dear! :) hang in there. This too shall pass or you shall pass. In either case, things will change.
Thanks!
Submitted by smilingagain on
That is kind! I am not perfect by any means. I do things my way and it can be messy or rushed or can go sideways- but I never quit. I am an extremely willful, resilient person. For better or worse.
it also helps that I have a side of OCD.
The ADHD runs around throwing glitter- the OCD gets out the vacuum. The ADHD emotional side comes out- the OCD double checks accuracy and logic. The ADHD forgets the phone, keys, wallet, glasses- the OCD double and triple checks the room, retrieving all.
I have meltdowns... Things fall through the cracks... But I keep trying. I am naturally optimistic and happy. That was gone for awhile before I was diagnosed. It was extremely painful to be in my skin. Honestly, I can't tell you the difference it has made to be medicated. That is why my user name is 'smiling again'. I have my self back.
I have read your story all along.... And you have also been through a lot and have worked incredibly hard! I admire your efforts! I can't imagine not having the benefit of my medication. But you've found effective supplements and more natural treatments. That is awesome. You are driving the ship. You're not a passenger. I like that!
I always look forward to your posts and to ellamenos' posts... Adhd wives unite! :)
Hope you are well. Thanks for your nice note. :)
Current ADHD status
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
The ADHD runs around throwing glitter- the OCD gets out the vacuum.
This comment made me giggle :).
So I have had some setbacks in the med/supplement arena. I'm only on 25% of the dosage I was on when I was eating foods to which I was/am allergic. It appears my biochemistry is driving the ship instead, at the moment. After 8 months or so of no medication, I had to go back on it, with good reason. When I first started my active B vitamin supplements, I was so depleted that it took 8000% of the Daily Recommended Allowance and those 8 months to replete me. Then I started having the opposite issue; instead of undermethylating, I was overmethylating. So over the period of a few months, I backed off the supplements until I was down to one a day. My naturopath thought I might be able to get off of it complete, but I couldn't do it. Reminds me of that U2 song, "With or Without You," ha-ha.
So what she concluded from that, which was confirmed by genetic testing, is that I have mutation(s) in my methylation cycle. So now she is giving me 2 months of sequential supplements, one at a time, to determine where exactly I am "broken." Essentially, she's trying to get me to overmethylate (with superfun side effects) so we can figure this out.
So far I have had the Big D, insomnia, resurgence of eczema, and mood swings. It's a party over here;)!
In case you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, below is an easy-to-read explanation of methylation. If you don't care, that's cool, too! Don't bother reading it :D! Dr. Amy Yasco is this brilliant Naturopathic Doctor who treats mostly autism (but considers ADHD to be part of the spectrum). We have some of the same mutations as autistic people, though everyone's biochemistry is different.
http://www.dramyyasko.com/our-unique-approach/methylation-cycle/
Yeah, I am definitely self-willed as well. It has also hurt me at times, but truth be told, I would never be where I am now with my ADHD if I listened to other people who doubted my approaches. I knew there were other things going on, and I trusted my instincts. Linear reasoning, be damned ;)!
Still Curious
Submitted by kellyj on
Dear Smilingagain,
When I first found this forum, you responded to a comment which at this point I don't remember exactly.......only, I do remember at the time I was trying to place myself in the range of ADHD/ADD and finding some similarities between us.
Now, after reading this last post of your's.......I see this happening again but even more so......nearly everything you have said about yourself I could have easily written even to the point of saying some things you said to the letter at different times myself. Kind of eerie......
I do things my way and it can be messy or rushed or can go sideways- but I never quit. I am an extremely willful, resilient person. For better or worse.
it also helps that I have a side of OCD
The ADHD emotional side comes out- the OCD double checks accuracy and logic. The ADHD forgets the phone, keys, wallet, glasses- the OCD double and triple checks the room, retrieving all.
I have meltdowns... Things fall through the cracks... But I keep trying. I am naturally optimistic and happy. That was gone for awhile before I was diagnosed. It was extremely painful to be in my skin. Honestly, I can't tell you the difference it has made to be medicated..... I have my self back.
I've said "feels like I want to jump out of my skin I'm so uncomfortable at times" Everything else including the OCD fits me to a "T".
I'm curious if you know any more about your particular brand of ADHD (with OCD too) that might help me narrow things down a little more? And yes......no one gets near my meds. They worked for me from day one with no real side effects to speak of aside from staying up a little later and eating a little less.....neither one of these have caused any real issues for me.....besides, I had always wished that I didn't' need to sleep as a kid thinking I could live 1/3rd longer life instead of wasting it by being asleep.
In part.....I got my wish. lol
J
PS. Studies I researched did come to some conclusions about the differences between men and women as far as IQ and abilities. No definitive differences in IQ except....Men had a few points more in the smartest ranges.....but also had a few points more in the dumbest ranges as well. Women tended to more evenly distributed..
In abilities men scored significantly higher in spatial orientation......women scored significantly higher in multi-tasking, organization, numbers (accounting for example)
The theory is that both these areas severed human species in finding food (men) and child raising.....one arm holds the baby while the other hand is free to do everything else. I thought of this also when I read your post.....(FYI)
J
New to this forum
Submitted by JuneBug on
Hello everyone, I am new here, just diagnosed 2 days ago at the age of 30. I posted a more in depth response to the original question but now I don't see it on here, so I must have messed it up somehow. It seems to be agreed upon that women tend to take care of their adhd better than men because they have to, for their children. Are there any adhd women out there without kids who feel the same? Or do they feel that even without kids, they mind their adhd better than men, or is it about equal?
I am brand new diagnosed, but have know for a long time, but I feel that already I am minding and managing my symptoms more carefully than the men in my life who also have it, but I don't have children. I will say this though, even though I don't have kids, one of my primary motivations is to get my act together and stay on track so that when the time comes, I will be a good mother