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LOL! Possibly! My husband has ADHD and he never closes anything! It drives me nuts. He will even start to close a door, but stop short. I have walked into the kitchen and found EVERY cabinet door open approximately two inches and several drawers the same way. He TRIED to close them all, but couldn't "close the deal"!
People have talked about noise. How about not seeing things? My husband left a pair of scissors on the floor at the entrance to our living room. I left them there and then pointed them out to him. He could not see them until I pointed to right where they were. I asked him to no longer help with washing the dishes because every time he did them, even after spending twice as much time as me, there would be food gunk left on them. And when I asked him, the math whiz, to double check my numbers on a complicated tax form (online) last year, he didn't read any of the directions. He said things like, "where did you get this number?" and I responded, "read the instructions." Are these ADHD things?
A million times I have been asked to go get something and been told where to look, then I stand there looking, knowing it's taking too long and yet again, the person will walk up "mad" and grab the item right in front of your face looking at you like you just didn't want to do it or frustrated at how long it was taking.
Example: The cereal row at the grocery store
Request: Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries (one of my favorites ;)
I could walk up and down the row 4 times before finding them. Everything basically is the same shape, too many colors, people all around and you feel like you are in the way, AND shopping is Boring...
I shop for groceries, and live my life, with a severely ADHD (untreated) man as well as an elderly woman with dementia and advanced Parkinsons. When we shop, he pushes the cart and plays with his phone. She navigates, poorly, in an electric cart. I am the crazy woman with the grocery list, the pen, and the armload of groceries searching for the man with the cart (still playing with his phone three aisles back), while inserting my body into the path of the electric cart that is on dead aim for the wine display. (Thanks, I will grab a couple extra bottles while I'm here.) I am not even going to try to explain what this is like. Sometimes it is hilarious, mostly it is hair-pulling. Gardener, pretty apt description! Thanks for the levity.
These two people are my primary sources of daily conversation and interaction. I really shouldn't wonder why I am losing my mind. Or drinking wine after shopping.
Ahh.. well I'm the one who does this. My husband complains that I leave all the cupboards open. Right now if I look into the kitchen I see 4 of 6 open. :D
I leave them open all of the time AND can't find things right in front of me, both of which my hubby finds extremely annoying. I'm so glad other people have issues with cabinets, It makes me feel so much better knowing it's not just me.
This is very much my life too, except it is with an ADD spouse who turns Jekyll/Hyde in public depending on when he takes his meds, and a child who has moderately profound autism. The spouse at the food warehouse will not start at one aisle and work his way around the store no sir-eee -- he will go to aisle 1, then run down to aisle 30, run back to aisle 2, run back down to aisle 29 until somehow he ends up in the middle. Then he'll shoot off to opposite walls. He is like a molecule bouncing around in a hot room. I have given up following him around like that. Once he takes off, I let him, even though I still have the grocery list in my pocket. I nearly killed him once when he did the register zooming at IKEA.
Our child is tethered to me as he knows no danger or harm and will run into the jaws of a crane. Well, he is running the tether around my body in Maypole-style, or body flopping to create more drama so he can leave the store. You don't know how many times I keep my eyes down on the ground because when I look up, there's someone pointing and laughing at the spectacle.
coats not hung up, clothes discarded wherever they were taken off, drawers and cabinets not closed, etc etc etc.........once, a long time ago before i knew my husband had adhd a friend of ours during a collective dinner we were preparing together yelled at my husband -- "YOU NEED TO GO TO FINISHING SCHOOL!" : ) we all laughed at it then. that was i WISH I KNEW moment because i really didn't get it at the time how big that issue was! but of all the issues, this is not one to leave over -- however annoying it is. it's the not finishing or following through on the things that REALLY MATTER. WORK, FINANCES, etc.11
My husband leaves open cabinets, doors, bread, cereal ice cream out on the counter. So, I totally can relate! I use to think it was just laziness and would yell at him for it. I'm trying to learn that it's actually not laziness, but ADD.
This is so similar to my husband. I noticed right away after we were married that he literally CANNOT finish a task. It's not that he WON"T finish, I truly believe there is something in him that prevents him from finishing anything. If he washes the dishes he MUST leave one or two pieces unwashed in the sink. He will wipe off one of the kitchen counter tops and leave the other with crumbs and coffee spills. He shows me the finished project like he is really proud of himself and gets really upset when I say something about the unwashed areas. It drives me nuts... he also leaves cupboard doors and drawers standing open.
One morning I came into the kitchen and found the milk jug sitting on the floor in front of the fridge. It was like he could only go so far towards putting the milk away and stopped short of opening the fridge door. When I asked him about it he just waved me away as if I was nuts to ask him about such a thing. What's up with that.
My husband will "put away" the dishes out of the dishwasher and pile so many pans, bowls, etc into the drawer under the stove that it won't close. Then I can't reach the stove, the microwave or the counter. So if I go to cook, I have to spend the first 10 minutes reorganizing the drawer and the shelves so that I can close the cupboards and reach the stove.
When I ask him about it, he says, there was nowhere else to put them. It never gets better.
I have reorganized the drawers, cabinets, closets and even took pictures and labeled shelved and after 11 years he still cannot put them away so that they fit(we have very small space so it is essential that things go back the same way). He will load the dishwasher and leave the sink filthy. I bought a wig because I have pulled so much hair out I need to be prepared!!
Same here..both DH and our daughter...and I literally found the milk ON TOP of the fridge after my DH had made himself a bowl of cereal not too long ago. LOL
She unloads the dishwasher sometimes and I never know where things will end up and they get put up in the cabinets in disarray. After so many years of not having anyone to help, I do not dare criticize how she does it because I appreciate the help so very much. That is one thing I have learned...just because it isn't done my way doesn't mean it isn't done 'good enough'.
One of the first (Of a long and distinguished list of my DW's pet peeves) was my not closing closets, drawers, doors and leaving the doors unlocked. Guilty as charged... Rarely now though after training from my DW and Adderall improving awareness. I believe this trait occured for me out of getting criticized/yelled at for closing doors, drawers and cabinets and making too much noise. (Another one in my DW's peeves) I am happy to report great improvements in these areas :)
I have thought about doing this to all the cabinet doors in the house! So funny... My daughters are really bad about closing cabinets loadly. Maybe THIS weekend I will go to Lowes and end this torture once and for all!
It's not just cabinets! Doors, too! My ADHD boy also slams the lid of a toilet, even as I'm telling him not to... I've been working very hard since he was even smaller to teach him to be considerate as concerns noise. I know it's because he's impulsive, inattentive, and excitable. He also runs from one room to another loudly on our first floor on the weekends when it's my husband's turn to sleep in, especially before the meds kick in. If he does these type of things, I make him do it again...the right way ("Go back and walk." or "Show me how to close the lid nicely."). The muscle memory involved in re-doing it the right way seems to help... He's gotten much better...sometimes I don't have to remind him, but it's going to be a long road.
OMG! This struck such a note of relief for me! Maybe I am not just a crank!
It’s been two months since a new neighbor moved into the next apartment and I am going nuts. I think I have ADHD on the brain! I swear she has ADHD, she has exhibited so many of the symptoms.
I live in a over-fifty-five complex. The apartments are small and this new neighbor and I share one common wall, back-to-back that mirror each other, that has the kitchen cabinets on it. The banging! The crashing! And the front door banging shut, shaking the building! The TV blasting! The walking around all the time in gunboat athletic shoes, no rugs on the floors! Hammering at 1 o’clock in the morning! Moving furniture at 3 a.m! How can one small woman make so much noise, ALL THE TIME! She never stops moving, never rests! I am a wraith of the woman I used to be from lack of sleep, even with earplugs!
A-a-a-a-h that felt good. Thanks for listening, folks. Seriously, is noisiness an ADHD characteristic?
I don't know if noisiness is a characteristic of ADHD. But I do sometimes wonder if not being able to hear one's own noise is an ADHD thing. My husband seems unaware of the noise he makes.
Yes it is. Its poor fine motor control combined with inattention and lack of self awareness and poor self regulation. Clumsy and loud! The ADHD kids at my daycare drive the AS kids up the wall with their noise poor kids.
I'm an ADDer who does not play video games :) My wife complains about me talking too loud and she is right sometimes, but it happens because I have a hard time hearing in noisy situations and talk louder because I'm trying to be attentive and "Hear" so my brain loses awareness of my voice volume... It is much better these days since Adderall and awareness help.
The LOUD argument in our house is when I watch movies. I have a Real Nice home theatre setup and my DW just does not get the fact that I'm NOT listening to a movie too loud when sound effects shake the room. This is how movies are recorded. To hear the characters talk in quiet scenes I set the volume as low as I can and still be able to hear them. When unexpected Action happens, of course the system shakes things. It is a PIA for me to try and enjoy a movie when I constantly have to "Volume Up / Volume Down" throughout the whole show. I need a sound proof man cave, I guess ;)
I am not an ADHD person, but I love a nice loud creepy loud home surround sound horror movie,and yes it's true you have been doing all you can to save your relationship,you deserve it,I don't see nothing wrong with that
This has been a thought of mine ever since I learned how ADHD works in the brain. Maybe because there is so much "noise" in their brains, it comes out physically by more noise - ie they have to do/say things to hear over their own "din"..........?
Think of trying to talk normal when you have a big set of headphones on with music blaring, then someone asks you a question and don't realize how loud you are talking, because you hear yourself fine.
This sounds like my husband too. I am always having to ask him to speak more quietly when we are in a restaurant or even in the movies. He has no thought about what other people can hear. He is super critical and will say negative things about others sitting near us in a public place and I am mortified when he speaks loudly enough for those people to hear what he is saying. He always looks so shocked when I tell him people can hear him... it's like it never dawned on him and he feels embarrassed.
I really learned a great deal from these comments. I used to just be stumped by the cupboard doors. Then when I learned about ADD I figured sometime between opening the cupboard door and removing something he "forgot" about that cupboards have doors and just left it open. But if he indeed was told he was too noisy as a child, he very certainly might have learned to just leave things open instead. And yes, he IS NOISY in general. Doors (to the outside) don't get closed, they get slammed. Car doors get slammed. His footsteps are more like stomps. He has frequently said to me "You sure startle easily!" Too funny. If he gets up before me there is no way he can get dressed and leave the room without waking me up. He says he IS being quiet, he's TRYING. Poor guy. Thanks everybody. I am totally over the cupboard door thing.
P.S. I posted elsewhere about the "obvious" evidence not always pointing to the truth... This is sure a case of that. I NEVER before linked my husband's general noisiness with cupboard doors and dresser drawers being left open. I feel so humble.
When I get up before my DW in the morning, which = Always, I have perfected the stealth to keep from waking her up. No lights, my walk around the house clothes are exactly where they should be, then I leave the room, closing the door slowly, turning the knob so there is no sound closing it, then turning the knob back slowly to its resting place.
Learned behavior ;) This Herd of Elephants can tip-toe when needed...
Just read this post, i know its a few months old, but OMG how true, i never could figure out WHY when I walk into my sons room his closet and every dresser drawer are open, every single day. They all slam the door when they walk out of the house, hard to tell when the slam is because someone is mad or its just the normal slam. Why I can never find anything in the cupboard after someone else has emptied for me. Why on the extremely rare occasion the my H gets up before me he will bang around downstairs, start the lawn mower, a chainsaw or whatever, totally clueless that other people including neighbors are sleeping. This rang so true it was funny. I'm glad I read all these.
I never realized that noisiness had to do with my husband's ADD. I just thought he was inconsiderate. If he got up before me, he would make tons of noise in the bedroom, leave up the bedroom door (even though I have asked him a million times to shut it), and sometimes leave the light on. I use to think maybe he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That was while he was having an affair and completely withdrew from me. It seems like there is a lot of similar traits with NPD, but then intentions are totally different.
My husband left the fridge door opened once,but when he saw me he still did not close it ,I thought he was doing it on purpose to annoy me, but now I know! why!
This is the first thing I noticed about my husband early in our marriage. He never closes the kitchen cabinets. Once, I came home from work and ever cabinet was open. I angrily started closing them all and he came out of the back room with a gun thinking someone was breaking in the house! I didn't realize it was associated with ADHD until my daughter was diagnosed and she does all the same things.
That is me. Wait, there's a door there? Loud? Yeah, that's me. I get migrane headaches and sometimes the only cure is to let it get me to the point of throwing up. I wake the whole house when that happens.
Whiskers? Have them. Kept forgetting to shave so I just grew the damned thing out. I do shave on occasion, so mine looks more like Martin on Duck Dynasty. Goatee, but long. Currently about 2 inches.
So funny how ur all describing what it's like 2 live w/us, try living inside our heads - yikes! LoL
Life is much easier 4u "d normal ones" & we appreciate ur help, but don't let us/ADD cause more drama than necessary. It's our condition & we need 2 b responsible about it. Less drama that way. After all, y should any1 have 2 cook around a drill some1 else left on d counter, or share a bed w/some body's books or pick up after someone who's capable of doing it themselves? I wouldn't like it if u came 2 my house & made a mess, even if u did it on top of mine! I know IT IS DIFFICULT 2 take responsibility 4 this thing but let's try. Let's do it 4 us & those we haven't yet lost in, behind or under a pile of paper, old bills, x-mass cards & that very special empty box of chocolates u got on Valentine's Day in '89.
Personally, I try 2 modify "annoying habits" as soon as (someone complains) I become aware of them. Such modifications r challenging, specially 4 me since d "bad habits" ARE NORMAL 2 ME. I often have 2 stop what I'm doing 2 turn off lights, close doors and yes even shot off a faucet or 2. LoL Who does that?! See, ADD annoys everyone :-) Seriously, my family became more supportive after I took responsibility 4 this. How u ask? I got diagnosed, educated on d subject, chose 2 use meds & stayed on 'em.
Now I'm working w/it, around it, through it...what ever method get's me through d day & closer 2 my goals, even d itty bitsy tiny ones, cuz those count 2 u know ;-) So weather u have ADD or live w/someone who does, let's be considerate, mind our boundaries, boundaries, boundaries & remember 2 use reminders like check lists, general check lists, detailed check lists, a master check list to keep track of all other check lists... LoL
Yes, I read your post...and I've thought about it several times since...because I needed someone who thinks and lives like my wife to openly talk about it...I was so opposite when we married, never seen anyone live like she does...My clothes are folded and in my drawers, when the dryer stops, put the stuff on hangers and put them in the closet...Not her, the closest living room chair to the wash room takes the brunt of it...All the dresses she wears are in one of two piles :) 90% of the stuff in her closest she out grew 10 years ago...When we were dating I always wondered why all her dresses were the kind that want wrinkle Lol..I was the guy whose Mother taught him a place for everything and everything in it's place right? right? lol...Boy have I been surprised!!! Oh well, now I just throw her clothes over on her side of the bed along with her laptop...Pray and go night night!
Keep it loving and don't sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff:)
OMG......this is such a funny site....love it. But, it's so great to read that we're not the ONLY ones living this. lol. Yes, my ADHD hubby does all the above.....leaving the kitchen cupboards open, drawers open (which I continually run into upon entering the bedroom) shoes on the floor that I"m always picking up. etc. So many, it's hard to list them all. For many years, I worked so hard to keep the house clean, but if I came home after my husband did, I could follow a trail of keys, shoes, belt, tie, jacket, hat, coat, and other objects all around the house and know EXACTLY HOW he walked through. And I would dutifully PICK UP all said objects and put them away, it was like always picking up after a small child. I DID finally get him to put his keys up on a key rack so that we wouldn't have to HUNT them down every morning in a mad scramble.
Pieces of paper with numbers and writing on them..............OH MY, sort of like...lions, tigers and bears...OH MY. He would fill up the dining room table, the kitchen table, every bureau, cabinet and end table with papers. I couldn't have ONE flat surface that was free of papers, so eventually I strategically placed vases, small ceramic art objects etc, all over so that he couldn't do this any more. And I made him take all the papers to his office in the house (which always was STACKED with papers, files, drums, music, books and COMPUTER STUFF. He will let them pile up for a while, but then he will eventually go through them all and take care of business, and for that I'm grateful.
NOISE: Wow, another biggie: I'm also forever telling him to "quiet down". His voice is so loud it's deafening. I have to repeatedly tell him to be quiet when our granddaughter is asleep, cause he's woken her up SO MANY TIMES from talking so loud. I will just say "please whisper right now", and LITERALLY 2 seconds later I have to tell him again, and again, and then again. The television and his computer are also at super loud levels. It's very hard for him to be quiet in public, when there is someplace where he has to talk quietly. He can for a while, but then he gets squirmy and can't help himself. He's on Concerta, but maybe there is a better medication for him, if he will get a total evaluation.
I'm a loud talker too, hence d title in all caps :-O. What others consider loud enough feels like whispering, I can't do it 4 long so I don't talk @ all but that doesn't last long either so I talk 2 d ppl right next 2 me or find something 2 do yes this is a run on sentence cuz I like talking LoL. I agree dedelight4 this is a funny place glad u like it :-D
I usually get to see the bar and cabinet tops @ Christmas when the kids come home...She piles everything in garbage bags...until after the family gathering...(I couldn't have ONE flat surface that was free of papers, so eventually I strategically placed vases, small ceramic art objects etc, all over so that he couldn't do this any more.) I would try this, but she would love the vases and what not...cause she's a women like you...then she would claim them...then cover them up...then I would break them when she wasn't home trying to weed through and straiting up her mess w/out it looking like I've touch anything....Then I'd been in trouble for moving her stuff :)
LOL! Possibly! My husband has
Submitted by Waterfall on
LOL! Possibly! My husband has ADHD and he never closes anything! It drives me nuts. He will even start to close a door, but stop short. I have walked into the kitchen and found EVERY cabinet door open approximately two inches and several drawers the same way. He TRIED to close them all, but couldn't "close the deal"!
People have talked about
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
People have talked about noise. How about not seeing things? My husband left a pair of scissors on the floor at the entrance to our living room. I left them there and then pointed them out to him. He could not see them until I pointed to right where they were. I asked him to no longer help with washing the dishes because every time he did them, even after spending twice as much time as me, there would be food gunk left on them. And when I asked him, the math whiz, to double check my numbers on a complicated tax form (online) last year, he didn't read any of the directions. He said things like, "where did you get this number?" and I responded, "read the instructions." Are these ADHD things?
Totally!!!
Submitted by YYZ on
A million times I have been asked to go get something and been told where to look, then I stand there looking, knowing it's taking too long and yet again, the person will walk up "mad" and grab the item right in front of your face looking at you like you just didn't want to do it or frustrated at how long it was taking.
Example: The cereal row at the grocery store
Request: Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries (one of my favorites ;)
I could walk up and down the row 4 times before finding them. Everything basically is the same shape, too many colors, people all around and you feel like you are in the way, AND shopping is Boring...
ADD Oblivion... It's nice to be out of the fog ;)
Funny 'cause it's true :)
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
Funny 'cause it's true :)
oh my
Submitted by gardener447 on
Well. This explains a lot.
The Crunch Berries?
Submitted by YYZ on
Explain a lot? :)
grocery shopping
Submitted by gardener447 on
Why grocery shopping with my guy is.... is.... like .... grocery shopping with a tired basset hound, two angry cats and a flying squirrel.
I fly solo at the grocery store
Submitted by YYZ on
Because my DW starts on the wrong side of the store and it throws me off, then all hell breaks lose ;)
funny
Submitted by gardener447 on
funny... the "wrong" side. :)
Creature
Submitted by YYZ on
of habit, I am ;)
Grocery shopping
Submitted by Walker824 on
Lol, while wiping tears!
I shop for groceries, and live my life, with a severely ADHD (untreated) man as well as an elderly woman with dementia and advanced Parkinsons. When we shop, he pushes the cart and plays with his phone. She navigates, poorly, in an electric cart. I am the crazy woman with the grocery list, the pen, and the armload of groceries searching for the man with the cart (still playing with his phone three aisles back), while inserting my body into the path of the electric cart that is on dead aim for the wine display. (Thanks, I will grab a couple extra bottles while I'm here.) I am not even going to try to explain what this is like. Sometimes it is hilarious, mostly it is hair-pulling. Gardener, pretty apt description! Thanks for the levity.
These two people are my primary sources of daily conversation and interaction. I really shouldn't wonder why I am losing my mind. Or drinking wine after shopping.
Love, strength, and courage to you all.
Ahh.. well I'm the one who
Submitted by irrelephant on
Ahh.. well I'm the one who does this. My husband complains that I leave all the cupboards open. Right now if I look into the kitchen I see 4 of 6 open. :D
Me too...,
Submitted by Rakim on
I leave them open all of the time AND can't find things right in front of me, both of which my hubby finds extremely annoying. I'm so glad other people have issues with cabinets, It makes me feel so much better knowing it's not just me.
I'm dying of laughter
Submitted by copingSAH on
I'm dying of laughter here.
This is very much my life too, except it is with an ADD spouse who turns Jekyll/Hyde in public depending on when he takes his meds, and a child who has moderately profound autism. The spouse at the food warehouse will not start at one aisle and work his way around the store no sir-eee -- he will go to aisle 1, then run down to aisle 30, run back to aisle 2, run back down to aisle 29 until somehow he ends up in the middle. Then he'll shoot off to opposite walls. He is like a molecule bouncing around in a hot room. I have given up following him around like that. Once he takes off, I let him, even though I still have the grocery list in my pocket. I nearly killed him once when he did the register zooming at IKEA.
Our child is tethered to me as he knows no danger or harm and will run into the jaws of a crane. Well, he is running the tether around my body in Maypole-style, or body flopping to create more drama so he can leave the store. You don't know how many times I keep my eyes down on the ground because when I look up, there's someone pointing and laughing at the spectacle.
My wife is sometimes
Submitted by Pbartender on
My wife is sometimes surprised that I've never grown a mustache... because the whiskers are right there under my nose... where I shouldn't find them.
Pb.
this made me laugh
Submitted by esmeralda on
HA HA. I live this life!
yep, nothing ever finished - including closing cabinets etc
Submitted by wishiknew on
coats not hung up, clothes discarded wherever they were taken off, drawers and cabinets not closed, etc etc etc.........once, a long time ago before i knew my husband had adhd a friend of ours during a collective dinner we were preparing together yelled at my husband -- "YOU NEED TO GO TO FINISHING SCHOOL!" : ) we all laughed at it then. that was i WISH I KNEW moment because i really didn't get it at the time how big that issue was! but of all the issues, this is not one to leave over -- however annoying it is. it's the not finishing or following through on the things that REALLY MATTER. WORK, FINANCES, etc.11
I can so relate!
Submitted by summerrhiannon on
My husband leaves open cabinets, doors, bread, cereal ice cream out on the counter. So, I totally can relate! I use to think it was just laziness and would yell at him for it. I'm trying to learn that it's actually not laziness, but ADD.
sounds like my ADHD hubby
Submitted by UR2Kelly on
This is so similar to my husband. I noticed right away after we were married that he literally CANNOT finish a task. It's not that he WON"T finish, I truly believe there is something in him that prevents him from finishing anything. If he washes the dishes he MUST leave one or two pieces unwashed in the sink. He will wipe off one of the kitchen counter tops and leave the other with crumbs and coffee spills. He shows me the finished project like he is really proud of himself and gets really upset when I say something about the unwashed areas. It drives me nuts... he also leaves cupboard doors and drawers standing open.
One morning I came into the kitchen and found the milk jug sitting on the floor in front of the fridge. It was like he could only go so far towards putting the milk away and stopped short of opening the fridge door. When I asked him about it he just waved me away as if I was nuts to ask him about such a thing. What's up with that.
My house too!
Submitted by Sueann on
My husband will "put away" the dishes out of the dishwasher and pile so many pans, bowls, etc into the drawer under the stove that it won't close. Then I can't reach the stove, the microwave or the counter. So if I go to cook, I have to spend the first 10 minutes reorganizing the drawer and the shelves so that I can close the cupboards and reach the stove.
When I ask him about it, he says, there was nowhere else to put them. It never gets better.
Me Three!
Submitted by LeeL on
I have reorganized the drawers, cabinets, closets and even took pictures and labeled shelved and after 11 years he still cannot put them away so that they fit(we have very small space so it is essential that things go back the same way). He will load the dishwasher and leave the sink filthy. I bought a wig because I have pulled so much hair out I need to be prepared!!
Maybe not totally ADD: I
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Maybe not totally ADD: I just went and shut all mine!
Same here..both DH and our
Submitted by SherriW13 on
Same here..both DH and our daughter...and I literally found the milk ON TOP of the fridge after my DH had made himself a bowl of cereal not too long ago. LOL
She unloads the dishwasher sometimes and I never know where things will end up and they get put up in the cabinets in disarray. After so many years of not having anyone to help, I do not dare criticize how she does it because I appreciate the help so very much. That is one thing I have learned...just because it isn't done my way doesn't mean it isn't done 'good enough'.
I'll take this one...
Submitted by YYZ on
Yes
LOL
Submitted by gardener447 on
LOL
Funny...
Submitted by YYZ on
One of the first (Of a long and distinguished list of my DW's pet peeves) was my not closing closets, drawers, doors and leaving the doors unlocked. Guilty as charged... Rarely now though after training from my DW and Adderall improving awareness. I believe this trait occured for me out of getting criticized/yelled at for closing doors, drawers and cabinets and making too much noise. (Another one in my DW's peeves) I am happy to report great improvements in these areas :)
The joke in our house
Submitted by Melomom on
is that when we get to remodeling the kitchen and bathroom, we are going to put soft close hinges on Everything!
THOSE are On My LIST!!!!
Submitted by YYZ on
I have thought about doing this to all the cabinet doors in the house! So funny... My daughters are really bad about closing cabinets loadly. Maybe THIS weekend I will go to Lowes and end this torture once and for all!
It's not just cabinets!
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
It's not just cabinets! Doors, too! My ADHD boy also slams the lid of a toilet, even as I'm telling him not to... I've been working very hard since he was even smaller to teach him to be considerate as concerns noise. I know it's because he's impulsive, inattentive, and excitable. He also runs from one room to another loudly on our first floor on the weekends when it's my husband's turn to sleep in, especially before the meds kick in. If he does these type of things, I make him do it again...the right way ("Go back and walk." or "Show me how to close the lid nicely."). The muscle memory involved in re-doing it the right way seems to help... He's gotten much better...sometimes I don't have to remind him, but it's going to be a long road.
Noise!
Submitted by best-is-yet-to-be on
OMG! This struck such a note of relief for me! Maybe I am not just a crank!
It’s been two months since a new neighbor moved into the next apartment and I am going nuts. I think I have ADHD on the brain! I swear she has ADHD, she has exhibited so many of the symptoms.
I live in a over-fifty-five complex. The apartments are small and this new neighbor and I share one common wall, back-to-back that mirror each other, that has the kitchen cabinets on it. The banging! The crashing! And the front door banging shut, shaking the building! The TV blasting! The walking around all the time in gunboat athletic shoes, no rugs on the floors! Hammering at 1 o’clock in the morning! Moving furniture at 3 a.m! How can one small woman make so much noise, ALL THE TIME! She never stops moving, never rests! I am a wraith of the woman I used to be from lack of sleep, even with earplugs!
A-a-a-a-h that felt good. Thanks for listening, folks. Seriously, is noisiness an ADHD characteristic?
I don't know if noisiness is
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
I don't know if noisiness is a characteristic of ADHD. But I do sometimes wonder if not being able to hear one's own noise is an ADHD thing. My husband seems unaware of the noise he makes.
Yes it is. Its poor fine
Submitted by summerwine on
Yes it is. Its poor fine motor control combined with inattention and lack of self awareness and poor self regulation. Clumsy and loud! The ADHD kids at my daycare drive the AS kids up the wall with their noise poor kids.
Guilty as charged ;)
Submitted by YYZ on
I can't tell you how many times I've been told I was too loud...
I am hearing my husbands
Submitted by Melomom on
I am hearing my husbands shoot em up video game blasting in the living room as I'm sitting here in the office typing............argh!
our video game is,
Submitted by lovehurtsalotwi... on
Our video game is "NOT" working "thank god"...all the time is wasted away in that BS,I hate it.!!!!!
Believe it or not...
Submitted by YYZ on
I'm an ADDer who does not play video games :) My wife complains about me talking too loud and she is right sometimes, but it happens because I have a hard time hearing in noisy situations and talk louder because I'm trying to be attentive and "Hear" so my brain loses awareness of my voice volume... It is much better these days since Adderall and awareness help.
The LOUD argument in our house is when I watch movies. I have a Real Nice home theatre setup and my DW just does not get the fact that I'm NOT listening to a movie too loud when sound effects shake the room. This is how movies are recorded. To hear the characters talk in quiet scenes I set the volume as low as I can and still be able to hear them. When unexpected Action happens, of course the system shakes things. It is a PIA for me to try and enjoy a movie when I constantly have to "Volume Up / Volume Down" throughout the whole show. I need a sound proof man cave, I guess ;)
Man Cave!
Submitted by Melomom on
With as Hard as it sounds like you've been working on yourself, you deserve it! Just sound proof it, so your wife won't hear, lol.
Man Cave Project
Submitted by YYZ on
Thanks for approving my project ;) THIS is a Project that this ADDer can plan, execute and complete on time, or ahead of schedule :D
YYZ ,,,I like ,
Submitted by lovehurtsalotwi... on
I am not an ADHD person, but I love a nice loud creepy loud home surround sound horror movie,and yes it's true you have been doing all you can to save your relationship,you deserve it,I don't see nothing wrong with that
,try and seal the room it would help you.
lovehurts.
DW HATES Horror Movies :(
Submitted by YYZ on
Thanks for Approval #2 on my Man Cave Home Theatre Project :D
Noisy brains = noisy actions?
Submitted by Melomom on
This has been a thought of mine ever since I learned how ADHD works in the brain. Maybe because there is so much "noise" in their brains, it comes out physically by more noise - ie they have to do/say things to hear over their own "din"..........?
Yep...
Submitted by YYZ on
Think of trying to talk normal when you have a big set of headphones on with music blaring, then someone asks you a question and don't realize how loud you are talking, because you hear yourself fine.
Make sense?
always after my husband to shhhhh
Submitted by UR2Kelly on
This sounds like my husband too. I am always having to ask him to speak more quietly when we are in a restaurant or even in the movies. He has no thought about what other people can hear. He is super critical and will say negative things about others sitting near us in a public place and I am mortified when he speaks loudly enough for those people to hear what he is saying. He always looks so shocked when I tell him people can hear him... it's like it never dawned on him and he feels embarrassed.
I'm so glad I posted this..
Submitted by gardener447 on
I really learned a great deal from these comments. I used to just be stumped by the cupboard doors. Then when I learned about ADD I figured sometime between opening the cupboard door and removing something he "forgot" about that cupboards have doors and just left it open. But if he indeed was told he was too noisy as a child, he very certainly might have learned to just leave things open instead. And yes, he IS NOISY in general. Doors (to the outside) don't get closed, they get slammed. Car doors get slammed. His footsteps are more like stomps. He has frequently said to me "You sure startle easily!" Too funny. If he gets up before me there is no way he can get dressed and leave the room without waking me up. He says he IS being quiet, he's TRYING. Poor guy. Thanks everybody. I am totally over the cupboard door thing.
P.S. I posted elsewhere about the "obvious" evidence not always pointing to the truth... This is sure a case of that. I NEVER before linked my husband's general noisiness with cupboard doors and dresser drawers being left open. I feel so humble.
Awesome
Submitted by YYZ on
When I get up before my DW in the morning, which = Always, I have perfected the stealth to keep from waking her up. No lights, my walk around the house clothes are exactly where they should be, then I leave the room, closing the door slowly, turning the knob so there is no sound closing it, then turning the knob back slowly to its resting place.
Learned behavior ;) This Herd of Elephants can tip-toe when needed...
noise
Submitted by funnyfarm on
Just read this post, i know its a few months old, but OMG how true, i never could figure out WHY when I walk into my sons room his closet and every dresser drawer are open, every single day. They all slam the door when they walk out of the house, hard to tell when the slam is because someone is mad or its just the normal slam. Why I can never find anything in the cupboard after someone else has emptied for me. Why on the extremely rare occasion the my H gets up before me he will bang around downstairs, start the lawn mower, a chainsaw or whatever, totally clueless that other people including neighbors are sleeping. This rang so true it was funny. I'm glad I read all these.
Noisiness
Submitted by summerrhiannon on
I never realized that noisiness had to do with my husband's ADD. I just thought he was inconsiderate. If he got up before me, he would make tons of noise in the bedroom, leave up the bedroom door (even though I have asked him a million times to shut it), and sometimes leave the light on. I use to think maybe he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That was while he was having an affair and completely withdrew from me. It seems like there is a lot of similar traits with NPD, but then intentions are totally different.
YYZ, it's better,
Submitted by lovehurtsalotwi... on
it's better in surround sound.The horror movie that is.I get so jeepers creepers and I like the thrill of it.
lovehurts
My husband left the,
Submitted by lovehurtsalotwi... on
My husband left the fridge door opened once,but when he saw me he still did not close it ,I thought he was doing it on purpose to annoy me, but now I know! why!
lovehurts
The cupboards....
Submitted by InAuburn on
This is the first thing I noticed about my husband early in our marriage. He never closes the kitchen cabinets. Once, I came home from work and ever cabinet was open. I angrily started closing them all and he came out of the back room with a gun thinking someone was breaking in the house! I didn't realize it was associated with ADHD until my daughter was diagnosed and she does all the same things.
I don't care who you are,
Submitted by Blurry on
I don't care who you are, that's funny!
That is me. Wait, there's a door there? Loud? Yeah, that's me. I get migrane headaches and sometimes the only cure is to let it get me to the point of throwing up. I wake the whole house when that happens.
Whiskers? Have them. Kept forgetting to shave so I just grew the damned thing out. I do shave on occasion, so mine looks more like Martin on Duck Dynasty. Goatee, but long. Currently about 2 inches.
Open cupboards, drawers & faucets-Oh my!
Submitted by hend on
So funny how ur all describing what it's like 2 live w/us, try living inside our heads - yikes! LoL
Life is much easier 4u "d normal ones" & we appreciate ur help, but don't let us/ADD cause more drama than necessary. It's our condition & we need 2 b responsible about it. Less drama that way. After all, y should any1 have 2 cook around a drill some1 else left on d counter, or share a bed w/some body's books or pick up after someone who's capable of doing it themselves? I wouldn't like it if u came 2 my house & made a mess, even if u did it on top of mine! I know IT IS DIFFICULT 2 take responsibility 4 this thing but let's try. Let's do it 4 us & those we haven't yet lost in, behind or under a pile of paper, old bills, x-mass cards & that very special empty box of chocolates u got on Valentine's Day in '89.
Personally, I try 2 modify "annoying habits" as soon as (someone complains) I become aware of them. Such modifications r challenging, specially 4 me since d "bad habits" ARE NORMAL 2 ME. I often have 2 stop what I'm doing 2 turn off lights, close doors and yes even shot off a faucet or 2. LoL Who does that?! See, ADD annoys everyone :-) Seriously, my family became more supportive after I took responsibility 4 this. How u ask? I got diagnosed, educated on d subject, chose 2 use meds & stayed on 'em.
Now I'm working w/it, around it, through it...what ever method get's me through d day & closer 2 my goals, even d itty bitsy tiny ones, cuz those count 2 u know ;-) So weather u have ADD or live w/someone who does, let's be considerate, mind our boundaries, boundaries, boundaries & remember 2 use reminders like check lists, general check lists, detailed check lists, a master check list to keep track of all other check lists... LoL
:-) OK, I feel like I know you...lol....
Submitted by c ur self on
It's quiet refreshing to read your post...You basically are my wife...
Look everyone
Submitted by hend on
OMG Look everyone, someone read my post! LoL! Tnx C UR SELF , you've made my day :-)
Hend...
Submitted by c ur self on
Yes, I read your post...and I've thought about it several times since...because I needed someone who thinks and lives like my wife to openly talk about it...I was so opposite when we married, never seen anyone live like she does...My clothes are folded and in my drawers, when the dryer stops, put the stuff on hangers and put them in the closet...Not her, the closest living room chair to the wash room takes the brunt of it...All the dresses she wears are in one of two piles :) 90% of the stuff in her closest she out grew 10 years ago...When we were dating I always wondered why all her dresses were the kind that want wrinkle Lol..I was the guy whose Mother taught him a place for everything and everything in it's place right? right? lol...Boy have I been surprised!!! Oh well, now I just throw her clothes over on her side of the bed along with her laptop...Pray and go night night!
Keep it loving and don't sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff:)
cupboards and noise
Submitted by dedelight4 on
OMG......this is such a funny site....love it. But, it's so great to read that we're not the ONLY ones living this. lol. Yes, my ADHD hubby does all the above.....leaving the kitchen cupboards open, drawers open (which I continually run into upon entering the bedroom) shoes on the floor that I"m always picking up. etc. So many, it's hard to list them all. For many years, I worked so hard to keep the house clean, but if I came home after my husband did, I could follow a trail of keys, shoes, belt, tie, jacket, hat, coat, and other objects all around the house and know EXACTLY HOW he walked through. And I would dutifully PICK UP all said objects and put them away, it was like always picking up after a small child. I DID finally get him to put his keys up on a key rack so that we wouldn't have to HUNT them down every morning in a mad scramble.
Pieces of paper with numbers and writing on them..............OH MY, sort of like...lions, tigers and bears...OH MY. He would fill up the dining room table, the kitchen table, every bureau, cabinet and end table with papers. I couldn't have ONE flat surface that was free of papers, so eventually I strategically placed vases, small ceramic art objects etc, all over so that he couldn't do this any more. And I made him take all the papers to his office in the house (which always was STACKED with papers, files, drums, music, books and COMPUTER STUFF. He will let them pile up for a while, but then he will eventually go through them all and take care of business, and for that I'm grateful.
NOISE: Wow, another biggie: I'm also forever telling him to "quiet down". His voice is so loud it's deafening. I have to repeatedly tell him to be quiet when our granddaughter is asleep, cause he's woken her up SO MANY TIMES from talking so loud. I will just say "please whisper right now", and LITERALLY 2 seconds later I have to tell him again, and again, and then again. The television and his computer are also at super loud levels. It's very hard for him to be quiet in public, when there is someplace where he has to talk quietly. He can for a while, but then he gets squirmy and can't help himself. He's on Concerta, but maybe there is a better medication for him, if he will get a total evaluation.
LOUD? WHO'S LOUD?
Submitted by hend on
I'm a loud talker too, hence d title in all caps :-O. What others consider loud enough feels like whispering, I can't do it 4 long so I don't talk @ all but that doesn't last long either so I talk 2 d ppl right next 2 me or find something 2 do yes this is a run on sentence cuz I like talking LoL. I agree dedelight4 this is a funny place glad u like it :-D
dede...I've give up on the counter's and bar's...
Submitted by c ur self on
I usually get to see the bar and cabinet tops @ Christmas when the kids come home...She piles everything in garbage bags...until after the family gathering...(I couldn't have ONE flat surface that was free of papers, so eventually I strategically placed vases, small ceramic art objects etc, all over so that he couldn't do this any more.) I would try this, but she would love the vases and what not...cause she's a women like you...then she would claim them...then cover them up...then I would break them when she wasn't home trying to weed through and straiting up her mess w/out it looking like I've touch anything....Then I'd been in trouble for moving her stuff :)