Submitted by Sanvean on 04/18/2020.
Am I dealing with a partner with ADHD? I noticed that my husband does the following:
- He has too many online female friends whom I don't know about. I keep finding about other females on his phones and computers and I don't know who they are. I told him that I want to know who they are and how often he talks to them. I think I should at least know who his friends are as he knows who all of my friends are.
- Most of the times when I talk he either interrupts, changes the topic, or see uninterested.
- He's very messy and doesn't care much about organizing and cleaning.
- He misplaces his keys and other things regularly.
- He accumulates many things like electronics, cassettes, CDs, photos, clothes, etc.
- If I tell him I don't like what he's doing or saying he can become defensive and thinks I'm attacking him. He does the same with his family.
- He complains that he doesn't have anyone to talk to, no one listens to him, and no one is close to him.
- He wants to have it his way and will do anything to do what he wants regardless if it affects others.
- He gets easily fixated on something and won't stop doing it. He'll go deeper into it without concern if it's impacting the relationship.
- He can be impulsive, irrational and irritable. He also has a lot of energy and likes fast-paced things.
He is showing you who he is.
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
You didn't know him long enough before you married him. That said, the hyperfocus period varies, and you can't really know someone until you live with them.
That he feels the need to hide things from you, and he friends/goes on and on about/ hides his relationships with other women is a red flag.
When it comes to computers, my fiance is somewhat territorial,, due to his working from home, and all the confidential information on it. (He has 4 monitors and three hard drives.) There were some misunderstandings early on in our relationship, but we have worked them out. We are in our 5th year together. I feel than when we marry, there will be no surprises.
It sounds like your husband may have ADD/ADHD, but unless he is tested, you won't know for sure. That said, him disregarding/minimizing your feelings is disrespectful. There is so much conflict in your marriage already, and you haven't been together that long.