I'm 46 and have been diagnosed with ADHD for about five years.  I have been taking 36mg of concerta daily but am feeling as though I may need to titrate up a bit or change the meds as my distraction level is high. I have not engaged in any talk therapy or ADD coaching since being diagnosed.  

I have recently become interested in exploring how ADHD has effected my marriage.  I am reading Melissa's book and finding so much of it ringing true.  My marriage is not in crisis and we generally function pretty well after 17 years of marriage, three kids, and lots of negotiating about how to handle the varied situations that come along with my distractions.  However, I'd like to improve our relationship and also my ability to manage my condition.  My wife is concerned, since I'm retired quite early, that I simply have too much time on my hands and am looking for problems that may not exist.  I asked her to read Melissa's book, which she agreed to do, and to sign up for the live course, which she has not entirely agreed to do.  I believe she thinks that I will use my explorations into how ADD is effecting us as an excuse for not pulling my weight in the house or in the relationship.  I assured her that this was not my intention and that I only want to improve on what we have.  My wife is very smart, and extremely even keeled (except when she is forced to deal with my ADD).  I'm sure her calm sensibility is one of the things that attracted me to her years ago.  Has anyone else encountered ambivalence with a spouse not wanting to explore how ADD is effecting the relationship/family?  As I said, she is reading the book but it seems perfunctory and a chore rather than an opportunity for us to improve.  Any advice is appreciated.