There are many many many problems that my husband and I have but one is the most bothersome to me. He has ADHD and I have no idea if this has anything to do with it or if this is all him in general. I wanted to explain and see if anyone else has the same issues or remotely similar.
I've been married to my husband for a year now. Around Thanksgiving I caught the flu. All morning long I had been feeling awful and watching movies. My husband cuddled up to me and started talking sweetly to me and then suddenly started begging me for sex. I told him no naturally cause I felt terrible and I was sick. He got upset and left me for several hours. After awhile he came back and was sweet again and brought me something to eat. Once I was finished he started begging again. By this time around I was very annoyed and was feeling disrespected. I'm weak when it comes to saying no after a lot of persistence so I gave in and said if I let him have sex with me he had to leave me alone and stop asking. I just laid there as he had sex with me.
Fast forward a few months. It was a Sunday morning and I decided I wanted to be playful with him. I jumped on top of him and tickled him. He played back and pushed me down, but then tried to pull my pants off. I tried to push him off and said no but he pushed me back down and pulled my pants off. He proceeded to have sex with me and I laid there because I was so mad. I'm not the type to scream and hit if I'm mad.
There have been other incidents between us but these two are the most troublesome for me to get over. I don't know if this is at all related to ADHD or if this behavior is something else. It's caused a lot of resentment towards him however I am mostly upset with myself for allowing it all to happen. Anyway, I'm planning on getting counseling and seeking more information on ADHD because before I got married I hadn't had any interaction with someone who has ADHD on a day to day basis. Thanks for reading and please leave any comments or thoughts.
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/c
Submitted by SherriW13 on
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/adhd-and-marriage-im-not-rejecting-you-really
Melissa wrote a blog about this...boundaries. I hope it might help some.
When you don't say 'no' and mean it then he is most likely just interpreting that as you saying yes. I have felt this same sense of shame for not being able to say no, or more importantly for saying 'yes' just to make him happy so he wouldn't treat everyone in the home like crap. This issue resolved itself for the most part when he completely lost interest in sex all together for almost a year. Sigh.
Just find the courage to say to him "Look, I am very sick and I do not feel like having sex. Please respect my boundaries and feelings". As long as he gets away with it, he's being sent the wrong message. ADHDers are notoriously poor at reading the body language of others.