I read Melissa Orlov's book 3 times and found it very validating for both my wife (God bless her heart) and myself. I was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD after 12 hour PsychEval. this year and after 15 years of marriage, this book may be a catalyst in reconciliation between us. I would love to start a chat with other ADHD folks about this book and how it helped or if there were any disagreements and why. Also, i might be having bad luck, but it seems as though every forum i click its a spouse stating that their partner is "dumb, forgets everything, uses ADHD as an excuse".....which I can empathize with their suffering, however, generalizations dont describe every person. I graduated with Honors in undergrad, grad and post grad school, owned my own company..etc. I am a provider in the pulmonary and critical care field and love helping people. I am very ambitious, but have no idea how to be in a relationship. NONE. does this make me overall a stupid person? Doesnt everyone need to grow and better themselves in the journey of life?
Have an awesome week!
Anyone on here with ADHD/ADD !!??
Submitted by ADHD ....Uggghhh on 03/16/2017.
ADHD does not make you a stupid person
Submitted by Stef G on
Even though I am the non-ADHD spouse, I wanted to say that ADHD partners do, in fact, have many fine qualities; it is just that these qualities get lost in the ADHD symptomatic behavior. In my own case, I stopped seeing my husband as a person, but instead saw him as a bundle of his symptoms with behavior I did not understand.
The 3/16/2017 blog post was written by my husband. I don't think chatting about Melissa's books is the way to go because it makes managing ADHD an intellectual exercise. I think the persons you want to chat with do not post to this forum. You have taken the first step by reading her book. What I can tell you is that her strategies for managing ADHD, including how the non-ADHD partner manages their response to the behavior, do work.
I suggest that your wife reads Melissa's book, then both of you start to implement Melissa's strategies for managing what ultimately is a medical condition with challenging behaviors. Melissa is that rare counselor who has lived what she writes about and knows what she is talking about.
My husband and I opted for counseling with Melissa after taking her couples seminar. The couples seminar was life-changing for us and I also would definitely recommend you & your wife take the seminar and do the homework.
You might want to read my first post titled "Do not believe ADHD worsens with age" which can be found under comments. Based on today's date it was posted 1 week & 3 days ago.