Submitted by forfolk on 05/07/2021.
My partner, who has ADHD, has been going through the grievous sudden loss of a family member. I want to support him as well as I can. Is there anything special to the ADHD experience of mourning that I can get from collective wisdom here?
I think everyone is different
Submitted by adhd32 on
If your spouse is grieving, you should extend the same comfort and support you would normally extend to a close friend navigating a death.
But, don't be surprised if his reaction is unexpectedly nonexistent or he focuses on himself. Over the course of our marriage, our parents, several close friends, and aunts and uncles have passed on. My H has not seemed fazed by anyone's passing. He reacts to a death as though someone just said they had to stop for a cup of coffee. He becomes annoyed by the inconvenience to his schedule. When my parents died, he acted as though all should be business as usual and was of little comfort or support to me. When a close friend of his (who was in our wedding party) was dying, H would not go visit him. I kept saying that he would not get another chance and still he wouldn't go. If it were my friend, I would be sitting with them every single day. H seems to be without feelings and compassion around death and does not understand the depth of another's grief. I was always available to talk or just sit with him when someone in his family passed but my comfort was never needed as he seemed to be without feelings of any kind, no grief or nostalgia, just nothing, just another day.