This year has just been so bad. I had my annual freakout where I started thinking about moving out, but settled for announcing that I just couldn't do it all and that I was overwhelmed and it wasn't fair. So ADHD husband did pick up some slack, but I still had to re-clean before guests came over, and now to protests from the family while I did it (yes, you did vacuum, but you didn't make sure the vacuum picked everything up and the floor is covered with popcorn). But then he didn't get me a Christmas gift and on Christmas morning everyone opened ALL the gifts I purchased them and I just sat there and watched. And then I had to be the holiday cruise director. Finally, last night husband was doing the one thing I have passed on to him (taking the kids to music lessons) and it was a mess because when I added him to the emails with the music teacher, he was only replying to me and not the teacher and she had no idea we were continuing with the lessons.
It's so much. I'm tired of having to be involved with every detail of everything.
Christmas venting
Submitted by Dagmar on 01/04/2023.
Tried and true method
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
The ADHD can make enough mistakes and aggravate to such a degree that you again start doing the tasks again. Problem solved (for them).
Right?
Submitted by Dagmar on
It's so much. All the time.
So sorry, Dagmar
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
It's awful doing everything and then feeling unseen and unappreciated on top of it. I started buying myself something for Christmas - a nice coat, a Roomba, etc. Something I wouldn't normally splurge on. It only helps a little, but you deserve appreciation. I see you and know how much work goes into making the holidays magical for everyone else - and it's especially hard when people assume you have a partner that helps.
Oh God yes
Submitted by Dagmar on
There's such a disconnect because his family thinks he does so much! His sister actually sat me down once and explained that the reason my husband kept rinsing and stacking the dishes on top of the dishwasher (seriously, just put them in!) was because "men aren't wired that way." Um, no. That's not a thing.
He had one of those fathers who was never around and when he was didn't do anything around the house, so the fact that he changed diapers was huge! But like, yeah, he makes dinner every night, but only if I plan the menu, buy the food, tell him to actually start cooking. I just want things to happen without my input sometimes. I mean, of course they do, but never anything good. My surprises are never "hey, I picked up dinner while I was out," but "I started paying all our bills with a credit card to get points and now we're $15,000 in debt."
Hi Dagmar....
Submitted by c ur self on
You have me laughing and feeling bad for you...Laughing because your explaining it so well...My wife cooks hardly never, and the mess she leaves in outrageous....So it's almost better for me to just do it all...Her and that credit card for points....LOL....We don't share finance's so I can laugh....She loses that thing often, we usually find it, but, she reorders a couple of times a year...LOL...I don't get many Christmas gifts, and I buy her nice things....She doesn't appreciate it though...I'm use to it...If I knew addresses to some of the wives dealing with this, I would send Christmas gifts by amazon to yall's houses, marked your secret admirer...Maybe that would help the next Christmas or Bday!
Bless you, and I hope you can step away from the chaos, breathe, and enjoy your blessings..Try not to own any of his stuff....
c
People don't see it
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
People assumed my husband helped with things too. It was so frustrating. Now that I'm not with him, I get offers for help. People think I'm a single mom so that must be so hard. They offer to help me paint or pick up things at Costco, etc. The thing is, my life is much easier now and I don't need the help (really appreciate the offers though). I DESPERATELY needed the help when I with my husband because he created so much extra work, but no one offered because they assumed HE was my help. On a few occasions, I asked for support when I was utterly desperate only to be met with, "Why doesn't XXX just help you with that?" I just wanted to burst into tears. I was drowning and no one understood.
I hope with the holidays behind you, you have a more peaceful 2023, Dagmar! :)