My husband feels the need to comment on EVERYTHING I do! I was shoveling gravel into a cart to haul to the back and although I was doing it good, I could do it better if I went from the other side. I make a drink and it's good, but if I put the ice in first rather than last then it's better. So many things. The latest though is the video game playing. I am not a gamer AT ALL but we got the XBox1 which senses your body motion so it gets you active. We got this sports game and every single game in there he tells me how to do it better because he wins every time and then watches me try to finish and feels the need to tell me how to do it better every damn time!. He has told me again and again what I need to do. I get it! I just can't control it so that it makes the corner or slows down or whatever. He has always done this to his daughter too. She'll be having fun playing and then he comes in the room and tells her she should do it this way or whatever and she gets so fed up that she turns it off. He doesn't understand why we get so angry as he's just trying to "help" us. Yet when he goofs like when I get a better start than him he immediately goes "I don't think the console can see me because I should have started faster". Never his fault! An old neighbor stopped by a few weeks ago and he tried playing one of the car racing games. He hit nearly every single obstacle but do you think my husband told HIM how to do it right? Nope he just laughed and said good job. 30 minutes later i"m playing it and every damn corner he's telling me how to do it and then literally came up behind me and put his hands over my hands so I could get a feel for the right way. I said "How come you didn't say a thing to the neighbor even though he's hit more stuff than I am but you have no problem telling me what to do?" He goes "Because you're my hunney bunney". No because a guy doesn't tell another guy how to do something. Same with putting up the pop up tent. I still don't get it and get yelled at when we do it but his buddies who can't do it either just get joked around with.
Just smile and tell if I wanted your help Buster I'd asked ;)
Submitted by c ur self on
What's it like to his partner in a spade or Rook game?
We played the sports game
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
We played the sports game again last night and every damn time he would finish before me and then sit and criticize how I was doing things. It's NOT FUN to play against you if you can't just accept that's how I play! Then he "just can't understand why I get so upset when I am only trying to help you do better"! Because it's CONSTANT criticism!! Nobody wants to be told EVERY time that there's a better way! It's a game for god's sake! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to find something he can't do and then sit and tell him every time that he's doing it wrong. You can bet after me saying that to him once he'd flip out and tell me to shut up! Actually, he would probably blame me for not explaining it to him correctly which is why he can't do it!
I've been the same kind of immature Bhole, lots of baggage :(
Submitted by c ur self on
I hate he's make's things "not fun" for you because of his competitive, perfectionist attitude...My Dad did it, and sadly I did it also...It's an in-bred thing that God as to take out of us...But, we have to see and recognize it's nasty effects on the one's we love before we can be humbled enough to realize we are doing it...It took a while for me, but I finally woke up...It's a sad state of affairs when your wife and precious children are fighting over who's going to be the unlucky you to be Dad's partner :( So, I just play to have fun, and if someone lead out with a 14 and the 1 hasn't been played :) Oh, well it's just a game...You can be his mirror in things like this, if you want get mad or emotional, but every time he wants to do something that you know his perfectionist attitude is going to lead to you getting your feeling hurt...Of course you will have to stick to your guns for a while and just say sorry not interested and when he say's why?...just tell him...You and I have a different view of what's fun. Mr. Perfect :) I don't want to be hard on you, but you are way to concerned about...His emotional state...If you keep giving in because your trying to appease his anger...He will never have a reason to change the behavior you hate...Mapper I think you are very responsible loving person...But, you have got to get some courage...
Yup played last night again.
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Yup played last night again. And again I got constant schooling on how to do it right. So freaking tired of it! Then for a change on the rock climbing part I was actually keeping up with him and then pulled him off the cliff so he fell and I got ahead of him. Oh boy, then he goes "Oh that's how you want to play huh? Bring it on!" So then he gets close and overtakes me right at the end and beats me by 5 seconds. After he wins he goes 'I could have pulled you off but I didn't. Did you see how I didn't do that so that it would be a close finish?" It's just either he's schooling me on how to do it right and then when I do it right, he brags about how he didn't do something to make me fall! Yup all about him and his awesomeness!
I really think
Submitted by Standing on
This is typical male (aka "patronizing") behavior (sorry, guys!) that runs amok when combined with ADD.
Happens all the time here, but it doesn't bother me. Not sure why it doesn't bother me, but then we each have our own pet peeves.
I do believe that it would help you alot, Mapper, to take a look at why you, personally, are so offended at it. It's amazing how my priorities and perspectives keep changing, since I've started examining myself more closely, instead of keeping such a close watch on my husband's behavior.
I agee with learning....
Submitted by c ur self on
Even though I'm a man...I try to not take myself so serious any more...What it sounds like is going on in his head is what I call the little boy syndrome...You know I'm going to take my toys and go home if I can't win...Or, the little 8 year boy who backs the line up at the diving board...Hollering at his adhd mother who want watch cause she's to busy gossiping..."Watch me mommy" Mommy watch me!!!...Sadly some of us must have missed out on some vital nurturing...And brought the little boy syndrome into adult hood...Like the Guy who is couching his 5 year old son's t-ball game and gets thrown out of the ball park for bad sportsmanship...
Standing :)
Submitted by c ur self on
Sorry Standing;)