Cooking for a small group - need new strategy

Hi. I'll have to think about

Submitted by PoisonIvy on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 11:52

Hi. I'll have to think about your question but I just wanted to say it's nice to see a post from you. Earlier today, I was thinking about you and wondering how you've been doing.

Thanks Rosered

Submitted by jennalemone on Wed, 08/31/2016 - 15:14

I come to this forum to write my thoughts out like a journal, then come back to read them like an uninvolved reader. But It is very nice to be thought of be people who are going through or went through similar circumstances. Thanks for the note. It means a lot just to have someone recognize you and mention it. I hope things are going well for you. I read over some of the things we both entered here and have learned so much about the situations and about myself. Thanks.

Here's One Jenna

Submitted by kellyj on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 13:05

I can see a problem your H has here. He doesn't know how to cook. That's the problem.

I'm a good cook. In fact, I've been cooking for years and do most of the cooking in all the relationships I've been in including the one I'm in now. I've even taken some cooking classes for fun..one of them being...a professional course on "how to be a competition "Grill Master"....you know....the people who do this for a living and live off the winnings of these competitions that tour the country and they travel from competition to competition and Bar-B-Q for a living. You didn't need to have that as your goal to just take the class and about 1/2 the people there were there for that reason...and the other 1/2 were there to learn to become a professional "Grill Master."

The point in even bringing this up...was what you learned in "timing" and "preparation" ahead of time since everyone had to be done...at the same time. That's what brought this to mind when you said he had to stop the production and hold court...to get all the things he needed for him and for you to do everything but actually slapping the meat on the grill but took all the credit for cooking the meat.

This is coming from someone who doesn't know how to cook and what's involved? It sounds like he only knows how to grill the meat....but doesn't actually know 'HOW TO COOK?".

When my Mom's Alzeimer' got bad enough where she could no longer do Thanks Giving meals for our entire family.....I took that on for her...and my sister did Christmas. That way....it still happened and my mom didn't have to do it. Since my ex wife...had not skills in this area. I did the whole thing and expected nothing from her what so ever. I started 3 or 4 days ahead of time...and had everything pre-made and ready to put in the oven...so that way....on the day....all I had to do a few last minute things I couldn't do ahead of time...and asked my ex-wife for a hand at the very end but....I had complete control of the entire process and the main meal and putting nuts in a bowl or setting up the table (what ever) required no expertise or needing to rely on anyone...to make sure everything was done...in the order, at the time and exactly how I want it done to meet the criteria and time table I had in front of me. I did everything as far as the meal was concerned....my ex-wife only served our guests and did nothing else beyond "serving". I was the "doer"....and that's just part of "cooking". Cooking...involved everything...to get the meal on the table, hot, on time....and all the other pieces put together that need to be put together so they all come out done ...at the same time. If someone doesn't know HOW to cook....they're wasting my time and I can't rely on them to help me. And if that's the case....I don't want their help in the first place. That's just asking for trouble.

If I were you Jenna....I would ask him to do something ...he knows "HOW" to do...and stop trying to share a "job" with you...that can't really be done effectively by "sharing" the job together. If you want him to "help"...have him put potatoe chips in a bowl...and help with all those "non essential" tasks and forget about him helping you with something he doesn't know how too do? That simplifies things immensely and you never have to rely on anyone to do what you want...the way you want it...and how you want it....if you're the one doing it?

If you're in charge of the kitchen....you get decide how it's done?

With me....it was easier to do Thanksgiving entirely myself....that way....I had control of every thing and it turned out exactly as planned every time. I was so good at Thanksgiving dinner....I had it down where I did hardly anything on Thanksgiving day....except watch Football...and eat chips and dip and spoil my appetite. lol

I wouldn't ask him to do anything that has to do with Cooking if I were you. But if you did need him to do that....I would spell that out for him...have all those utensils and things ready for him...so he could just walk up and "help" you....not do it "for you" if that makes sense? Especially...knowing what you know after 40 years? Why would expect....anything different...especially when he doesn't know "how to cook?"

Doesn't know how

Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 15:02

Doesn't know how to cook. .... hmmmm....

Doesn't know how to budget or financially plan.

Doesn't know how to pick up a mess.

Doesn't know how to do the dishes without making a bigger mess in the kitchen.

Doesn't know how to make a plan and leave for an event on time.

Doesn't know how...

Doesn't know how.....

I didn't know how to do things until I learned how.

Why do some people's expectations of themselves stay so small? Is there no shame or guilt? Is there no urge to grow and learn and find pride and dignity? Yes, you are right. He doesn't know how....to do so many things that need to be done.....he know how to do things he thinks are fun to him.

I have a sister who didn't know how to do a lot of things. Didn't care to learn how either. Didn't need to. She would talk other people into doing things for her. Her best talent was talking and persuading. She is much better than I am at that. She is better off than I am and happier. I have been trying to see how I got myself into an unequal, unhappy situation. What I am missing is the ability to persuade, chat, talk, direct, teach, boss....use my voice...speak up. I am often someone who cooperates behind the scenes rather than shout out what needs to be done by someone else. This is my challenge. How does a woman teach herself to talk up more? It really is a chore for me to keep talk alive. I do realize that talking helps people especially when there is low energy or sadness or anxiety. I can talk one on one with common interests but I am not good at directing/idle chatting/persuading. I will be working on lealrlning how to do that and practicing. Maybe that is one of the things I was at first attracted to with H. He was very persuasive.

.....Trying to keep an ongoing oral dusting going so that I don't keep losing my self in other people's persuasions.

Jenna I Remember Thinking

Submitted by kellyj on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 15:52

When I was young and people could be so mean sometimes. I use to think...."I would never do that....why do I have to do anything....for people not to be mean to me. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!!!!

That reminds me of the bumper sticker...."Mean People Suck"

Well....that may be true....but you still have to deal with them even if you don't think you should have to???

Know what I mean? It never gets easier does it? lol

PS Jenna....I did great at cooking Thanksgiving and getting everyone out the door happy. What I've never been good with doing....was cleaning up the kitchen afterwards!!! LOL I did....but it didn't happen like making the dinner and doing that part. I guess...we all have our strengths and weakness's even though as a Chef... clean as I go as best I can. I know how to cook...and what happens when you leave everything to do at the end. I'm pretty good...but not perfect.....Thanksgiving, I was lucky (and Thankful lol ) just to get the important parts out of the way!!! LOL

Jennamalone...Cooking..OMG!

Submitted by Zapp10 on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 20:39

Your post is ALL TOO true for me. My H doesn't know diddly about cooking.....and when he decides to fix something all of a sudden HE KNOWS all the HOWS, WHATS AND WHYS.

First of all.....he fixes what he likes.....because he doesn't know what I like.(43 yrs and doesn't know?) Here is my brief experience with his cooking....

I love oatmeal......H decided (since he likes it too) to cook some.( the 1 minute quick oats.) .....How can oatmeal be awful? I ask you....HOW?...anyway....I choked it down and thanked him truly(because I knew what would happen IF I didn't like it).....so he decides to do it again occasionally....and I continue to choke it down. Finally, during a rare good attitude time I said to him" I don't know WHAT you do when you make oatmeal but please....I don't mind making my own" He took it fairly well. This is one topic that he goes very defensive on and I am over it. So you don't know how to cook? Learn it or not but quit being "wise in your own eyes" cause you end up looking like a fool.

I refuse when he offers to make hamburgers.....they are the size of a flattened meatball. No seasoning and he used to squish all the juice out by constantly pressing with a spatula. It was YEARS before he finally stopped.( No one wanted one of his "leather" burgers)

And this just happened recently..........at camp I suggested I cook a couple steaks over the fire pit. Because of our "tense" situation at the moment I was not happy when he jumped in and said he would do it. H KNOWS NOTHING about MEAT of any kind and I felt "trapped" not wanting to say "you don't know how to cook" and get his irked resentment. So.......I said "great! Have at it" I wandered around and refused to watch what he was doing.After quite awhile(they should have been done) I walked by the fire pit.Sweet Jesus......there were a couple pieces of wood with barely a flame.....the meat was barely brown....and he says...."these are done just right". I swear to God.....I went into the camp and called my daughter on the cell and told her......."if I get sick and wind up in the hospital...and die......I want you to know it was the steaks your dad fixed for us tonite. They are still mooing" HOW DUMB am I that I ate that steak?!! or maybe .....I was hoping that the event of death would be a "sweet" release from such a pathetic marriage....I am still trying to figure out WHY I jeopardized myself physically for his ...what?........WHAT?.........WHO is the real fool here?

I stopped inviting people years ago because my H would get "testy" with me...how I was doing things, why I was doing this or that.....and often in front of people. My solution was to withdraw from welcoming people to my home because ...dealing with him was exhausting and stressful. "we" throw a corn roast every year and his idea of readying for it was reserved for the "music" (live musicians of which he is one). 50-100 people come. I grew to HATE the damn thing. Now.....he does it and I leave for the day......and the "corn roast" isn't what it used to be.....hmmmm just maybe....I KNEW what I was doing.

Zapp, me too

Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 21:18

Zapp, they are two peas in a pod! And what is it with that unawareness that they believe themselves to be experts at things they don't even TRY to learn anything about? When H does cook out, I always go in an take my portions off the grill long before he takes them off. He always leaves the grill and goes to sit in his garage to smoke, so the meat is always charred and crispy - nearly inedible...with him saying they are done just right. And yes, H gets testy when I say the truth about something not being to my liking, as though I am not allowed to express an opinion...I should just grin and eat it. If something I made was not good, I would be the first one to mention it...not him...he takes offense and gets angry if I mention it.

Oh my, Jenna, do I feel your

Submitted by GiveMePatience on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 20:02

Oh my, Jenna, do I feel your pain!!! I'm SO sorry... as I know how VERY stressful this can be... :( One thing that I have found relatively helpful is to give my husband a written list, a week or two ahead of the event. Whenever he may have some 'spare time', it seems helpful to 'remind' him about the list... and ''if he does X now, he won't have to worry about it later". I really hope that this helps! BELIEVE ME, I am still trying to figure this all out, myself! ;) Good luck with this and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your son! ~GMP

Drained and Resentful:(....There is a more excellent way:)

Submitted by c ur self on Sun, 08/28/2016 - 00:20

( I am planning how I can change this dynamic.)

40 years and your making changes to the dynamic:) Good Luck:)...Everything you said here Jenna about his lack of effort and need for affirmation is very common in many marriages, where one or the other struggles with motivation due to being enabled...(No sink or swim situations for them, the life preserver may bitch, but there faithful) It happens in families, on jobs, you name it...When the one who always grabs the heavy end decides to stop, the one who is being kept from the heavy end has no clue what that feels like...How could they? We always grab it....

(Anyone have a system or a way of navigating "when people come over for a meal"?)

You've described perfectly how this works...If you take a family of three brothers meeting to work on a project usually at least one is a spectator...

If two or three sister's get together to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for the families...At least one of them is wiped out, headache etc., at the end of the day...

You have the work horses and you have the life of the parties, who does one forth of the work, but, needs 90% of the pats on the back for their efforts....

If you want to really change the dynamic...You have to change....You must not be afraid to set boundaries w/ your husband and family who place expectations on you without a thought because you have them trained that way! Ouch...Sorry!... The good ole work horses....

I've always been just like you!!! LOL....I'm learning to change! I told my grown daughters, if you want things to have any semblance of balance, timeliness and order, you've got to come to these events early w/ rolled up sleeves...When I'm approached about these events I insist we have a preplanning meeting to discuss what each of our roles are (start to clean up) before I agree to take part....Also I've learned to write it down:)...It's amazing how things can slip a mind:)

But, I must accept the results of the efforts put forth! I can't B & M because I don't like distracted or half hearted efforts....Quality and Speed of effort is something I have to live with....And be happy!

That statement reminds me of a line in one of the Rambo movies....When Rambo has a stick hanging out of his side from an explosion and his CO who trained him looks at it and says "Does it hurt bad?"...And Rambo say's you taught us to ignore pain...And the Colonel said: Is it working? And Rambo says...No offense, but, Not Really....

When we are wise enough to set boundaries in a non threatening way in order to change a unhealthy dynamic...There will be plenty of change and acceptance to go around....

Blessings dear friend....

How the dinner went

Submitted by jennalemone on Mon, 08/29/2016 - 10:43

Thanks, C, This was the tone of response I can count on you for. Coming from an effort of maturity and acceptance. Maturity and acceptance and beautiful strength are what I am aiming for in relationships and in life. I wasn't dreading the day ... but there was something in my mind that was off-balance and I knew it ahead of time...couldn't name it though. I had the same ole feeling I have had many times and was feeling again...that of....I am the only woman in this group. We are divided into guys and gals and the one gal (me) was doing everything except the "standing by the grill drinking beer with the guys". I was not included in the group but was the "hand maiden". It felt like 200BC. I made multiple trips up and down stairs to the outdoor patio. No one stirred from their drinking positions. I had the young granddaughters helping a little. The guys moved a table when I asked them to. When we were done, I said, "If everyone carries a little something back up to the kitchen, we could bring this up in one trip"...they did that.

After we said goodbye to granddaughters, my other son made a criticism of something my granddaughter did, saying that I let her manipulate me and it was very very bad for her that I let her. Then H stole some credit from me by proudly saying to son in response, "I said to "granddaughter", 'There will be no more tantrums in this house', and she listened to me and stopped her bad behavior." This is the exact phrase (with methods of reward and punishment) that I instituted tens of times for the past 2 weeks working with her on this issue. And there goes H, proudly announcing that HE said those words......MY words. Maybe he said them once, copying me.

At the end, there I was exhausted from the preparations, aching body and head, and looking at counters full of dishes....then remembering that I had been criticized and the work I had done with granddaughter was being bamboozled by H and not seen by anyone. I later told H that we would be grilling out ONE more time and HE will buy, prepare, serve and clean up the entire thing while I was in the vicinity but I would not be helping. This resulted in a fight...him flinging disconnected insults at me and him driving out of the driveway til who knows what time of night. I told other son, that, since it was HIS idea to "Lets grill out a bunch of meat", that he could do the remaining dishes. I had been doing dishes all day as I went along. I think he is angry with me too.

After I just spent 24 hours taking care of kids, preparing and making a balanced meal. Just because I mentioned to both of them that they could have been more helpful THEY are both resentful of me.

When I was younger, I had the energy to do these things and I wanted everyone to have a nice relaxing time enjoying a pretty, tasty lunch. Now, it is not as easy or enjoyable AND not appreciated.

SO.... my lesson is this. Sub sandwiches from takeout or takeout pizza, paper plates, water to drink (help yourself at the tap). no salads, no noshes, no veggies, no desserts....if I have just babysat for 24 hours and have a house to put back in order I shouldn't expect myself to also "entertain". Lesson: KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!

This morning I am waiting to see (without emotion) how H will respond. His M.O. is to seek revenge of some kind. He already "got me back" by going out and staying out late last night while I slept. But I believe, if I engage him, he will seek more revenge.

Situations of unavoidable conflict Jenna....

Submitted by c ur self on Mon, 08/29/2016 - 16:02

Jenna when we experience enough of these events (Parties, Holiday gatherings etc..) we can't help but feel a little out of balance as you stated it...It really does pay to preplan and set boundaries.

Everyone deserves to relax and enjoy themselves w/o those anxious feelings that makes relaxing hard if not impossible...When the dread of what's waiting on me is pressing my mind at a conscience level greater than my ability to mange it, I might as well get up and get busy, because I'm not really hearing what's being said around me...I struggle to turn it off, relax and enjoy the company, when I know there isn't anyone partnering w/ me in all that needs done before bed time....

As you said...cleaning as we go helps, but, boundaries help more...If these boundaries are put in during the planning stages of low stress, it can really allow the work horse types to relax, and allow the tourist minded folks to get there hands dirty....I've found when I am able to get out my comfort zone and controlling mind (everything needs to have order, something that as extremely escalated in me watching my wife live life) and do it this away, the tourist minded enjoy it even more, because they feel more invested and satisfied that they got their hands dirty....

And the product can be conflict free days:):)...YAY!!!!

I agree with the tack you've decided on for the future

Submitted by NowOrNever (not verified) on Mon, 08/29/2016 - 16:19

Sounds like the event went well for guests, Jenna. I too have had to limit my own labor for these gatherings. C's got a good idea of having family or good friends come early and pitch in. I dont live near family so that good idea is not an option. It would irk me that a bunch of ablebodied adults would sit around after a meal but not lift a finger to helpclear. Good for you that you spoke up and the did lend a han

I've told my husband that we'll only entertain groups when I have the time to do the 2-3 days before, day of and cleanup Fewer events. We could do more but he's in not now during the run up work to the party, and like your whole group, inclines to disappear from cleanup. Getting out of the maid-cook workflow during the party is a problem for me, too.

I try to do as much cooking and prepping of food as I can the day before and stow it in the refrigerator to serve cold or heat up I'm sure you do, too its the only way I know to try to make any time for me with guests or shoot, even sit down, during a party. Plus that means I can vacate the kitchen on day of, so my husband can do the part of the food prep that he volunteered to do . I'd never, ever co cook or manage my husband as he cooks...we'd kill each other . I clear out when he's doing kitchen stuff

He gets amnesia at cleanup time. : ) : (

Hi Now

Submitted by c ur self on Mon, 08/29/2016 - 17:05

You have me smiling, so familiar, so real,....Looking in each others window again.....LOL....amnesia here happen's because there is still someone here to listen to her talk, not to mention she hates the mundane....She just comes for the party:)

'Morning, C

Submitted by NowOrNever (not verified) on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 08:45

Yeah, I am not thrilled about mundane tasks, either. I can't imagine that anyone on the planet feels like they're at the top of their game, or having fun when they're cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, etc. When the labor on behalf of two gets so disproportionate, and only one of them is tackling it it does feel mournful to the bathroom cleaner, spill scrubber, dealer with creditors and repairmen, even if there's no resentment being felt. I think Redhead wrote it in another thread: you know that your partner doesnt have your back.

Jenna, if you read this, I dont know what I'd do if my partner didnt do work for the party and then crowed to guests that he had. All I know is that I wouldnt embarrass the guests by calling him out in front of them. Nor would you, I know. But I do think I wouldnt cover for him, to them. People have eyes; they'll see; he's embarrassing himself in front of them, over the long haul. Because they do see. I'm grateful that my husband doesnt do that deliberate falsehood to people. He never thanks me, praises me, or acknowledges my accomplishments to other people, but at least he doesnt lie that he's done what I did. I'd have a reaction to that in private, not in front of guests.

C and Jenna, I've been thinking about parallel lives. C and I had an exchange about parallel lives quite awhile ago. My husband and I don't want a parallel lives relationship, although what we have come up with thus far definitely has to have parts of the day in which we're not around each other or depending on each other.

But this preparing a party, having it, and cleaning up is one kind of situation in which we go more fully independent of each other. Which means if he forgets to buy the meat for the grill, and buying the meat was on his task list, he solves the problem. I really wont bail him out on something he put on his commitment list, if I'm working flat out on tasks on my list...for a party. This sounds so mean, but where are the limits on my work? None of this is rocket science, and in fact both of us have the experience competence to do the mundane.

I dont like being the one to say, no I wont do to fix what you forgot, on top of what I'm doing, but as I wrote to someone with ADHD elsewhere on line, the way it is happening in our house, On non party days, I help my husband with his work, but he never helps me with mine. To which the guy wrote back, hm...I dont think I'm doing that to my partner, but I really dont know if I am or not. Precisely. One thing about living in not-now/now, is that perceptually, domestic work, financial management, party cleanup DONT EXIST in not now. I can be laboring away 10 feet from my hub, but if what I'm doing is in his not-now, IT DOESNT EXIST to him. As in: it's not there. The work I'm doing isnt there. I dont think I'm there, to him, either, or if I am I'm something like a dim ghost...if I'm in his not now

And now is his now not our now, it is his "my" now, what his "I" perceives, what his "I" thinks is going on, what "I" do. Not what we're doing. His we in the present, his present, is often more tenuous than mine is. His present, even if I am in it to him (or guests are in it to him) has more of his "I" in it than it has "we" in it. This s seems to be perceptual, not intentional. At the moment. What his "I" at the moment sees and wants to do.

I'm not complaining. This is my husband in time and space, in action that he exteriorizes in his words and movement. I'm lucky that my husband really wants my wellbeing, though he misses chunks of what I'm doing and doesnt store up cumulative understanding, gleaned from time and space observation, parked in memory, of what I articulate or show that I need... In my now, not his. I need to accept that he does live in now/not now in a very different way from how I live in it.

I dont know how to handle parties and living with someone for which the labor of party prep or even serving guests is in not-now until it's in now, except by separating tasks, and going about my business on my own. I dont ever, ever want to embarrass our guests...you know, they can be embarrassed, too. People with ADHD dont own the market on being embarrassed or being dealt with impolitely. I do want guests to feel well and relaxed when they come to our house. The best way at present I know to keep the tension dowfor me, our guests and my husband is to get some tasks on his voluntary task list...he is willing to do some things at the point of now (his now, not mine)... And then stay clear of him as he does what he's sign d up to do. He does have some struggle with executive function and memory, but if it's right before the doorbell rings, that's not the time to move into his psychic domain concerning his task completion. I let him do his own best job. Which means that he bails out his own tasks... And enjoys the praise for what he does.

people not living with ADHD in the household have no idea how complicated it is

Now, you are definitely getting it....I applaud you!

Submitted by c ur self on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 10:52

Thanks for sharing the details of your personal life and how you handle the now, not now. It really reinforces (in detail) what is happening w/ many of us...Your awareness of the difference's and your desire to Love and Understand him, has really helped avoid (conflict, stress, & enablement) the dysfunction of having a life partner who's mind works so differently about life....Your acceptance of the facts, and your commitment to do the work, has and is giving you great tools for living....

I'm sure many of us could tell stories of the grief we've suffered in our relationships due to not being mindful of the difference's and being wise enough to avoid (work around) what we know after the fact we should have done....

When I make a conscience effort to be meticulous with my own awareness level about these differences...At that point I find myself instituting boundaries...Simple preplanning sessions, w/ notes/lists before gatherings. It also takes more discipline from me to not be negative with words and actions. I need to have Grace for her struggles, I sure want it for my own...

My wife deserves to have positive feelings, and calm emotions coming from her husband....I'm Loved, I'm Accepted & Safety ....Much of the emotional damage (insecurities) we cart around in life, is caused by our experience from these three things from the time we are very small children...It takes work, stability and time to reverse it....

Holiday gatherings were my most hated event's, early on, and even keeping the grand children wares me out....But, by the simple principles ( written lists and pre-agreements) we are making good progress....I want repeat (nor could I ) every thing you said so well about your efforts...But, I will say, sticking to it, and not enabling by baling our partner's out in their now, is critical to me...

It's the most vital piece in my opinion, (it's also the hardest because we have to give up control, mothering and making excuses for our refusal to accept them, regardless of how we feel about it.) it is a reality check for the procrastinating mind, and manifests awareness of what level of work is actually being done....Which should create respect and growth between us....Always a good thing!

So when you and your partner set down to discuss the up coming holiday gathering, make a written list of responsibilities...Be sure when you start your now list at 5 days or 3 days out. Kindly make your spouse aware that you are working on your items...Let them know this is my "Now." Let them know you will done with all the now things possible when you wake up the morning of the gathering. Personally I will find something else to do that morning her "Now"...I can't handle the stress of being asked every few minutes to bale her out on her list....Last year my daughter, and daughter in law came...Awesomely sweet ladies 36 and 27....The daughter in law cornered my daughter and told her..."She needs to chill"....I'm laughing now....It's just better if I'm not in the line of fire when her "NOW" arrives.

Now, I would just like to thank you again for such a relevant and helpful post, now we can have this tool also, if we are willing to do the work:)

Blessings Sister

Ahahaaha

Submitted by NowOrNever (not verified) on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 11:09

thanks, C. Peals of laughter are about:

Personally I will find something else to do that morning her "Now"...I can't handle the stress of being asked every few minutes to bale her out on her list....Last year my daughter, and daughter in law came...Awesomely sweet ladies 36 and 27....The daughter in law cornered my daughter and told her..."She needs to chill"....I'm laughing now....It's just better if I'm not in the line of fire when her "NOW" arrives.

...Tonta think Lone Ranger a wise man.

Once I give space to my husband's Nowwwww in the kitchen, the only thing that will get me back in there is the sound of glass shattering as it hits the floor. We both walk around in bare feet in the morning.

Tonto LOL FOOL!!!

Submitted by kellyj on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 13:14

NON...I had to laugh too. You know...."Tonto" means "fool" translated into English. lol TV was not so...PC...back in the day. lol I also noticed something not that long that ago.....while I watched the beginning of "The Jetsons" one time for nostalgia sake.....when George pulls out his wallet to give Jane money for shopping??? And she grabs the whole wallet and leaves George with the few bills he was going to give her??? They cut that out now....specifically....but left the rest of the intro unaltered.

I thought that was "poignant" to the very thing you were saying here as well. Times change whether we change or not!!! Time waits for no one and things are constantly changing around us all the time....it doesn't care if you change or not....but change or adaptation is what you need to do to keep up with the times or for that matter.....keep up with your spouse? Either way....same difference???

Tonto...make tool......Tonto.....no "fool" LOL

: ) Sí

Submitted by NowOrNever (not verified) on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 15:28

Sé qué significa la palabra.

...I hesitated about that Lone Ranger thing... but decided with the feminine ending, Tonta would pretty clearly refer to me, not to Jay Silverhawk.

Though perhaps an (ahem) Trigger warning should have been posted.

That Jane Jetson no fool, either : )

BTW, "keep up with your spouse"?

You're talking to Mighty Mouse, here... http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/10/29/article-2224668-15B95595000005...

No....I Got It LOL

Submitted by kellyj on Tue, 08/30/2016 - 16:17

You being "Tonto" as you said it. My response in return.....a double entandre.... as I said it......it's a joke. Get it. LOL ( I know you did...but I couldn't resist the set up ) And that mighty mouse.....what a hoot!!! LOL J

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