I believe that ADHD can be exacerbated by specific events and general life stages. I used to think that it was a coincidence that my husband's problems seemed to get worse when my daughters became preteens and that his problems have continued to be worse as they have grown into young adulthood. Now I'm starting to think that this is one of those life stages that, by challenging his parenting abilities, has worsened his ADHD and related conditions. It seems that my husband is not very aware of appropriate behavior for the parent of a young adult and so the stress of figuring out what is appropriate might be making his ADHD harder to deal with.
Here is an example (which might have nothing to do with ADHD): My husband likes a TV show that features 20-something young women. They are shown having sex. My husband introduced this show to my daughters, ages 19 and 21. He really wanted me to watch it. He put it on and there we all were, watching a show in which women the age of my daughters were having sex; my daughters know this is their father's favorite show. I felt creeped out. Good show, yes; watching it with my husband AND daughters made me feel yucky.
Any thoughts?
Yes it is inappropriate
Submitted by copingSAH on
Yes it is inappropriate unless you find a way to make light of the tv program, or it is not that big a deal to your daughters. what did they think of it? My adhd dh has a tv/film addiction and he was describing how his acquisition of a particlular film gave him a "stiffy." Who in their right mind says that to a tween? I can understand a 18 yo or adult.... Our dh do not seem to have boundaries, except for where they choose to.
also our kids are sick at the moment and have taken to the couch in the family room (tv). Told dh they were there and the only response was, "they better leave me room to sit down when i come back in" with no thought to their well being. I told him not to be like that, and he responded that he had every right to be grouchy because he has to work on the property. I didn't own his nastiness, told him ok, whatever he feels, i'm just not going to stand there and take that behavior from him. It's like he just doesn't have a care for anyone else. If he just stopped and thought, there is a perfectly fine television in our bedroom he could have considered using later... But he'll probably shove the kids out of the way
Dads with ADHD
Submitted by ADHD Surrounded (not verified) on
Definitely inappropriate. The judgement of ADHD people can be alarming..... My husband usually makes inappropriate gaffes. He's not one bit homophobic or racist, but at the same time he is way too willing to bring up and address those issues in a variety of ways, in the presence of acquaintances of minority races or sexual persuasions. It's like he's trying to prove that he doesn't see them as any different than him, but it comes off as bigoted because it's like he's hyper aware of their situation, and just says the stupidest stuff. It's so embarrassing.... I always give him a horrified look, and that usually develops into a nice blow-out. Fun, fun, fun...
Why did you stay to watch it
Submitted by MagicSandwich on
Why did you stay to watch it if it made you feel yucky?
Everyone in the family had
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Everyone in the family had been urging me to watch the show. I felt it would be rude to leave the room, with or without explanation, and I did not feel comfortable explaining. "Ah, girls, I'm uncomfortable watching this because it's your father's favorite TV show, and don't you think it's weird that his favorite show often depicts women your age having sex?"
That would have made me
Submitted by funnyfarm on
That would have made me uncomfortable also, although I would have said this is not appropriate and turned the channel, but that may be because my children are tweens...I have walked in an been shocked at what he was watching with the kids... and only when i say do you really think this is appropriate for a 12 year old, does the light bulb go on, and he will recognize that its not and change the channel. My H does/says things that I feel are inappropriate/embarrasing also... if someone on tv is obese he may make a horrible comment, or an inter-racial couple...i just want to cover my kids ears or say don't listen to your dad he is being ignorant and narrow minded. Not sure if this has anything to do with ADD or just that some people have poor judgement.