Submitted by ebecoat01 on 05/24/2021.
So, for some time now I have been dealing with my wife and her ADHD. Lately I have noticed that we have been getting into more and more arguments by the week. The arguments always start off as innocent conversations. Somehow someway she redirects the conversation to something that has happened in the past. I'm not one for bringing the past up because it belongs where it is; in the past! When bringing the past up, the stories always seem to change when she she is telling it. She begins to tell lies about what actually happened and it pisses me off when she does it. She does this constantly and I don't understand why? Has anyone experienced their spouse and the lying?
Some of this has to do with
Submitted by SJC2021 on
Some of this has to do with gaps in their memory.
Their short term memory is horrible, so lots of times they may not even remember what they said or did the first time, and then try to fill in the blanks, which is perceived as lying. I dealt with that with my ex GF and I wondered WTH she was even talking about sometimes.
Some of this may be outright lying. It's hard to tell with people with ADHD, and some of them know this and use that excuse.
It will be a constant thing forever man. Good luck.
Post from 8/8/2020
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
Read the post entitled:
What can I possibly say to his faulty recall
Whats faulty about it?
Submitted by ebecoat01 on
Whats faulty about it?
Have you ever with a child ?
Submitted by SJC2021 on
Have you ever argued with a child ? There you go. You can't win.
ADHD's know their memory is bad. They get defensive about it, and then attack you for something they actually remember.
It is an endless cycle of pain. Logic, reason, facts, and proof mean nothing to someone with ADHD. They have their own world.
They will make you think you are the crazy one if you let them. Don't.
possibility
Submitted by MATTHD on
a therapist told me: If you're used to being scolded as a child, you get in the habit of making excuses--- whatever you can think of at the time. Eventually that becomes habit (compulsive lying).
Its her way of dealing with
Submitted by scOPwl3 on
Its her way of dealing with whats going on. People with ADHD have unreliable memories or have a feel overwhelmed by the simplest stuff.
The bad news is that these arguments are going to go from weekly to daily to every conversation is a fight due to buillt up resentment. I am speaking from personal experience. She needs help with whatever form of ADHD she has and you need help to understand how to work with her. She needs to overcome ADHD somehow and you need to learn how to support her. My answer shouldn't not mean you have to taken on the burden to understand her needs and take on stress yourself. Its a decision you have to make after consulting a professional.
I am much farther down the ADHD marriage road than you are and its not a road any more, its feels sisyphean.