My wife lost her debit card last Thursday. I was under the impression that she did the right thing and canceled it.
She borrowed my card on Wednesday.
Last night, she said that the bank had called about fraudulent charges and that she had to deactivate both cards. I said that I thought she had canceled the card she lost. She said that she did not because the bank had adviser her to put a hold on it and not cancel it in case it turned up. I found this strange.
So I had a message today about fraudulent charges on my card. I was puzzled. Why would they be on my card if her card was lost? I called her up. Now she says that she dropped my card and she thought she had told me that. No, she had not. Not after she dropped it. Not after there were fraudulent charges on it.
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Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
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Bowl, sorry about card
Submitted by dedelight4 on
I'm so sorry there's another situation that just presented itself. And I know this one is puzzling for sure. Just wanted you to know you're a good man. Hugs for you.
Dede
OK, she was not honest, but no ADHD
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
After a a lot hair splitting (she didn't LIE, she just left out major portions of the truth), she finally admitted that she should have been honest with me.
And, of course, she resents that I see losing my debit card within a week of losing her own card as evidence of ADHD.
She was lying
Submitted by adhd32 on
It is called lying by omission. Certainly crazy making when you only get half the story. They omit the part that they know will get them in trouble. Often puts us spouses in a bad position when we only have half the story and we try to rectify the situation.
Yep.
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
Had this discussion with my boyfriend before. A Lie by Omission is still a lie. ( ADHD or not. )
This thread is a perfect example of why we need boundaries...
Submitted by c ur self on
None of this should ever happen (the part that effected you anyway)....You NEVER share in anything with a mind like that, where you are putting yourself in jeopardy...It will end bad for you most of the time....
Lying to cover up actions and behaviors, then admitting it when cornered, then turning defensive about anything you have to say about how her dishonesty hurts you, and your trust for her....This is 100% the reaction of an adhd mind in denial, when their own irresponsible behaviors are addressed......It's text book!....
If you will never share accounts with her, bank cards, or anything that will put you in jeopardy you will soon find many of your problems get better....Less stress....Once you put boundaries in place, (completely separate accounts) you might even find yourself able to have sympathy for her struggles....When you are just an on-looker protected by boundaries....
When we truly Love our spouses, we make sure we eliminate all the traps....And there are many for some us.....So, my suggestion is start making you a mental list of the things she does that can and does impact you negatively.....Then decide how you are going to change that....You might want to get you a good book on setting boundaries w/ a spouse....
c