Hi,
I have a constant struggle with my husband about making plans and honoring them. 1. He doesn't really listen when we talk. 2. When I do our evening check in, he doesn't tell me he has any plans for tomorrow, and he says yes to what I propose. 3. The next morning he announces he has to do this, that or another thing, and it's urgent and can't be postponed. 4. We re-negotiate our plan for the day, usually with some frustration and hard feelings.
This morning we had a minor argument. He said he isn't forthcoming when we do our evening check in because he doesn't want to create an argument. Then he plans he will simply fit in his things around what he agreed with me. His "fitting in" other things always disrupts our plans.
I've tried many different ways to get him to pay attention and participate in the check in. I ask him to tell me what he plans to do or wants to do the next day. Nothing works. I get constant surprises, and many of our agreed plans fall through. Yesterday I told him I'm going to our daughter's home this afternoon to help her with a minor repair project. He said he wants to go, but he agreed to do some repairs for a friend. He told me he would go see our friend early and only spend 1-2 hours there. Today he got up late and read for a while, then settled in to surf the internet and watch the news on TV simultaneously. Next he set to doing something before going, and now he made coffee, read while he drank it, and went upstairs. Now he came back and proposed we do our daughter's repair differently than what she requested, which led to some discussion, and now our friend called to see why he didn't show up at her house.
I'm curious if anyone in this group has a better strategy for making plans and sticking to them.
Thank you,
Angie
RE: Discussing and making plans
Submitted by Angie_H on
I'm commenting on my own post! We needed a stapler for our daughter's project. My husband came in from the garage with a stapler and some boxes of staples. He pulled me from what I was doing to examine the staples because he thinks they may not fit the stapler, and they are all he could find. The stapler is marked with the size it takes. He has staples that size, 5/16", but a different brand than the stapler. I proposed he simply try them and see if they work in the stapler. He said ok but didn't do it. He went off to the garage again. When he came back I asked if he is satisfied and decided not to try the staples. He said he decided (without shooting some staples) that he has 6 mm staples, and they will certainly fit the stapler. What? Suddenly we've gone from 5/16" to 6 mm? He says they are the same, which is not true; 8 mm is the same as 5/16". I gave up after a few more wasted minutes of discussion. Now that he left, I looked in the bag, and he has both lengths of staples. They are labeled in both the English and the metric lengths. I'm going to shoot a few while he is gone so we don't get his "Who knew?" comment later if this brand does not work in the stapler.
The stapler jammed, it didn't work, and now I can't get the compartment open to remove the staples.
My husband came home and agreed the staples don't fit the stapler. Who knew? He marked them as not to be used in that stapler.