One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between ‘Two Wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which Wolf Wins?” The Old Cherokee simply replied, “THE ONE YOU FEED”.
I am struggling today with feelings inside that I don't want... irritation and resentment. I have been trying to put words to my discomfort. I remember a time in my youth when I could honestly say that I did not ever experience the feeling of hate. Now it burns silently inside of me. I feel so invisible and taken for granted, scared, betrayed, repulsed and unloved.
I am struggling. Anyone got any thoughts? How do I rise above this?
Sadly, it seems no one found
Submitted by honeyblonde on
Sadly, it seems no one found any solutions. I'm new to th forum and finding that solving these issues or finding peace and happiness is not hopeful. To be fair, I'm new to this and we haven't read all of the suggested material. I guess my next step is finding info on "coping". Maybe just google it. I'll do it now as well.
Best of of luck to u.
Jenna we have to take our eyes off our spouses to heal.....
Submitted by c ur self on
I would take it from you, If it were possible, because I know the pain you are dealing with. Just know God loves you with the full force of his love...I was at a point where I was so full of anger and bitterness I didn't know what to do....My heart even started jumping around....When I looked deep inside me I realized God was there ready to free me....But, I realized I didn't want him to, because my bitterness was my protection from all the things I felt I needed from her that I wasn't getting....Jesus can heal our hearts, and fill all our needs....You just have to ask and believe....
Blessings Jenna...
C
Some days things are so clear, and other days so muddled
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
jennalemone,
Oh man, have I found myself in the place of putting up signs everywhere in my house - and I had an internal secret agenda - maybe, just maybe my spouse would read them and see the light. Sheesh. I have been guilty of feeding that ol' evil wolf in these ways:
anger - MY SPOUSE (insert complaint here) again. . . . .
envy - MY SPOUSE doesn't seem to mind how cluttered/untitdy our yard is. Why can't I just get that way too?
jealousy - If we ever split up, there is some needy woman out there who would fall under the charms of my spouse, and he's not gonna have it that easy.. .
sorrow - MY SPOUSE doesn't fill my broken heart
regret - What if I had not accepted my spouses marriage proposal?
greed - All we ever do is spend money on keeping my spouse's construction business going. When will we focus on what LIZ WANTS and get my kitchen remodeled, or a new laundry room upstairs, or my cute garden shed?
arrogance - MY SPOUSE has some issues. I have done SO MUCH work on myself.
self-pity - I have tried so HARD? Why is it not producing the desired results?
guilt
resentment - I am working so hard, and I never get any acknowledgement, and I am wasting all my wonderful skills. . . . .
inferiority -
lies -
false pride/superiority/ego - I have worked SO-O-O many YEARS on my recovery..I have accepted my flaws. I am so wise and wonderful.
So, now I am working hard on getting away from that ol' fat evil wolf I have nurtured and fed, and became used to having within my life. And, man oh man, it is a WOLF for gosh sakes. It is fat and mean, and scary. It doesn't want to go.
I am working hard on starving it right out of my life - having it get so skinny it chooses to skulk away - or even dies. My wolf still has a bit of strength left, so it is really hard to pull "food" away from it when it growls at me and demands to be fed.
I want the good wolf. It is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
Trying to keep the focus on my relationship has had me spinning in circles, chasing my tail. I am choosing to keep focusing on Liz. She is only a part of the relationship. The more I value myself, the more I will be able to simply say "no" to poor behavior directed at me. Will that result in changing the person who dished out the poor behavior? Maybe, yet that is no longer the goal. The goal is to make sure Liz is treated in the way she deserves to be treated. If not she has enough self-worth and dignity to walk away.
Very truly,
Liz