Submitted by Tiredinwashington on 08/06/2012.
My husband seems to want to fight about even the smallest of things and won't let things go. He keeps at me until I am crazy and I dont know how to get him to stop fighting. My kids are so impacted by all the yelling. I don't know if it's worth staying married.
If you cannot get to a point
Submitted by SherriW13 on
If you cannot get to a point where you both resepct the children enough to not fight in front of them, then get some help ASAP. It does affect them horribly...my children are living proof. I will never forgive myself for it. God help me, I will never do it again...it has been months since we've had a fight that she even knew about...she is becoming a completely different child (in a good way). I cannot say it enough...stop doing it or get help...or get away from each other.
How did you stop this? I
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
How did you stop this? I have been increasingly intolerant of my husband intentionally throwing me under the bus IN FRONT of our two kids. It makes me so angry. Frequently, his comments are about my parenting, and I think the bulk of it is because he still can't let go of OUR past issues together. I am a responsible parent. I am perfectly willing to admit fault when I make mistakes, and who doesn't? To make matters worse, after posting the effects of PMS on my anger and meds and how glad I was that my IUD stopped my period about a year and a half ago, it came back two days ago. I had no idea why I was SO angry until it arrived. We are both in therapy, and marriage therapy was an abject disaster. I will never do it again. Plus, it's like a time bomb given that he has pushed off the "divorce" that hasn't happened for another year...
Forgetting What I Know
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
O.K. So I started off today super crabby and irrational again. I was great with the kids, but the second my husband came downstairs, we were bickering (at least not in front of the kids). But then my husband (wisely) decided to take the kids for a few hours so I could get myself together mentally.
As much as I wanted to use the time to get something done, I decided I REALLY needed to meditate. I have been out of my routine since a recent trip to visit my brother. I also used this awesome download from ITunes to assist with my meditation, which I had been doing for a few weeks in conjunction with my meditation. Dr. Steven Worringham; Focus on ADHD: Attention and Concentration for Study. It's supposed to be for students but it works like magic with ANY focusing activity, and it calms me down. It's supposed to induce Beta waves, a type of brain wave associated with concentration. It's just this weird ethereal music. I don't know how it works, but I can say that it does. My working memory is too porous for it to be simply a placebo effect ;).
Yikes. I didn't even write like myself the other night. I need to be consistent to surmount my odd sensitivities!
So much calmer now...
You need counseling
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
The two of you should seek professional counseling to start dealing with the ongoing tension in your relationship, as well as the yelling in front of the kids. You shouldn't hide everything from the kids (that's too far the other direction - they aren't stupid and can detect if your marriage is seriously out of whack even if you aren't arguing in front of them...) but this sounds extreme.