Frustrated....

These are my stories too.  My husband must have ADHD.  For 30, yes thirty, years,  I have lived with a man who has lost job after job and can't explain why.  We are currently suffering financially because his job situation just continues to get worse due to his lack of focus and organization.  He can't carry out simple tasks because he gets distracted doing others.  He never remembers anything I tell him and it makes me feel like he just doesn't care.  In the beginning of our marraige, he was so focused on me but lost that focus and now we barely communicate.  He can't hold a conversation for any length of time and a lot of the time falls asleep instead of listening.  If he attempts to read anything, he falls asleep.  Therefore, anything that relates to paperwork or paying bills, I am in charge of.  I feel like the biggest nag but what I have become is his mother.  I hate what I have become.....he is like having another child, a 58 year old child and I am just tired.  Tired and depressed and kind of done.  I am obviously angry at myself and at him.  I asked him years ago to go see someone because something was just not right.....of course, he never followed through.  I think I want to leave.....I have spent 30 years doing this.......I don't know that I am capable of doing the work to try and fix it.....I am too exhausted.