Submitted by needsalifeline on 08/04/2011.
The hubby and I are still going camping...just happy he still wants to go. Catch ya all on Tuesday when we get back, keep your fingers crossed. Hopefully we will come back in a better place than we are leaving. Gotta think positive right?! :)
I truly do hope you guys have
Submitted by SherriW13 on
I truly do hope you guys have a good time and are able to start rebuilding this weekend. Please keep us posted!
Sherri
Excellent...
Submitted by YYZ on
Vacations can work wonders :)
Give us an update after the trip...
YYZ
Camping
Submitted by needsalifeline on
Camping didn't go too badly. Couple anger outbursts over really stupid shit, but he held it together pretty well. We did a ton of stuff and had an awesome campsite right on the beach. No "talks", just hanging out and enjoying the break from life (well on my end anyway). The only thing that really bugged me is he is still on the "we should have taken other people" bandwagon!! Couple of neighbors asked him if he had fun and he told them "I had marginal fun with her, been more fun if more people went". When I tried to explain that, it really hurt my feelings for him to say that seeing I thought we had fun...we were going for three days straight and did a ton of stuff...I got "It's always more fun with other people and I'm not gonna tell people what you want to hear like some puppy dog" Argggggggg..........back to reality.
I wonder if he really feels
Submitted by SherriW13 on
I wonder if he really feels that way or is just saying that to cause you pain. Maybe he feels like you 'controlled' him by not 'letting' anyone go with you guys, so he has to punish you by making you regret it. Usually, when someone says something that cruel...there is a motive behind it and the words aren't necessarily true, just meant to hurt. My husband is a pro at this...and I have sadly learned the art of it all too well myself.
I don't know about you...but I am sick of the pain. I'm sick of him hurting me and I'm sick of being hurtful to him.
Too badly...
Submitted by YYZ on
I agree with Sherri (Shocking) it sounds like he went along with your idea and is trying to make you pay, hoping you will think it is more fun with extra people on hand. It sounds like he is still blaming you for what is wrong. I don't understand the mean comments. If I'm mad about something I am more likely to talk about it, but I won't continue once ugly comments are thrown at me. I don't do that and won't take it from someone else. I'm sorry your trip was not what it could have been. Hang in there...
YYZ
I'm hanging....
Submitted by needsalifeline on
YYZ I'm still hanging on over here, I don't give up easily.....AT ALL! Really the trip wasn't bad, just a couple little blips on the radar, it was once we got home that he started being an ass. I'm just hoping that its the lack of meds that's causing the backslide (because he was making big improvements until the doctor took him off of them) and that next Monday the medical dr. will be able to get him on something that will help both the ADHD and the depression. Yes, I am probably the most patient person in the world and its really hard to listen to those around me tell me "I could do better" and that I should just leave. This is as much an illness (totally my opinion) as much as if he had developed heart disease or cancer and I wouldn't leave him if that was the issue. I would do exactly what I am now, learning all I can and being there when he finally figures it all out and needs someone to have his back. When I married him, it was forever!
However YZZ, I do wish you could sit down with him for a couple hours and explain shit to him...lol Just wanted to let you know, once again, that you give me hope that my husband will make the changes he needs to and we will be able to successfully move forward.
That's good...
Submitted by YYZ on
I'm glad the trip wasn't bad. I can't remember what meds you said he was on, but coming off of most that I know of should be over a 2 week period. Stopping medication cold turkey is a bad idea. Once I started my Adderall, I felt so much better I wanted off the anti-D's, but I weaned off of them over a 2 week period, per my docs instructions. I'm glad you have researched ADD and know it Id a disease, sadly it seems to be a good joke or excuse to most people. In fact, because of this popular belief, I got pretty P/O'd by this opinion and there is nothing that motivates me more than thinking I'm the butt of a joke. When someone tells me I cannot do something or make changes, they basically lit my fuse and I say "Hide and watch" :) I am glad to hear you follow the sickness and health ideals, but if I never attempted to improve things that were wrong with my actions and continued down a self-destructive path I would not expect to be enabled forever.
HaHa... I bet my DW wishes someone would sit down with me and explain some $hit to me too :) I'm glad if I can give anyone a little hope for the Non's out there, but don't give us ADDer's any slack or it with be taken as the new precedent, sadly... Keep me posted!
YYZ
Meds
Submitted by needsalifeline on
He was on Concerta for the ADHD which made him more aware of issues, but also increased his anger issues (not good). And Celexa for the depression, but the Concerta seemed to cancel it out and made the depression worse. So per the doctors orders he quit everything cold turkey! Just holding on for next Monday!
I'm still trying to find the middle between b*%ch and doormat....still trying to find a counselor that will work with me instead of against me. I'm on number 3.....they seem to either think I am the whole problem (because they don't believe in Adult ADHD) and want to rehash my whole life up until now or they decide that my husband is a horrible person and they just want to plan out my exit. I get extremely frustrated by these people!!! New counselor tomorrow and I think I'm just gonna spell it out....my husband has ADHD, he isn't gonna come to counseling with me (he is seeing a counselor on his own though), and I need to work on strategies to help me deal with his ADHD the right way. If the counselor can't or won't work on my terms then its on to number 4, I don't have time for screwing around. Yep, I'm a Non on a mission!