We went away for a 4 day weekend last weekend because H wanted to go to this video game conference in L.A. He had a great time and we did a bunch of stuff. Next year the conference is in Frankfurt, Germany and he is hyped to go even though neither one of us has ever been to Europe. I work for a European travel agency and as a benefit to us we get to take one of the European tours for free every year if we want. Spouses can go for $100 a day and we have to pay our own airfare. We are still looking at around $1000/person for airfare, plus a 7 day tour would be an extra $700 for him and then spending money. At least $3000 for the trip and most likely more than that. He has no money and now I have lost so much money by paying for his share of the bills and buying him motorcycles, etc because he really wanted them. I used to have so much savings that a $3000 trip was a drop in the bucket. Now I don't even have $3000 in savings.
So now he is gung ho that we go take a tour next that coincides with this conference. That is virtually impossible as the 7 day tours run Sunday-Sunday and his thing would be on Sunday afternoon. He simply says that we'll take a tour close to Frankfurt and then he'll take the Eurail up to the conference. He has NO idea what he's talking about! He thinks he can just take a day and go off and do his own thing and apparently thinks he's within an hour of Frankfurt no mater where he is. You can't just leave the tour! Also, there are no tours that go to Frankfurt and Eurail can take up to 24 hours to get where you need to go. Even if you think you're close, it still takes a few hours. I try to tell him this and he just gets frustrated saying that they'll be fine with him leaving the tour for a day and Eurail is fast. He has NO idea about anything and just simplifies the whole process and doesn't understand why I'm not on board. He says he'll have no problem saving $200 a paycheck for the trip. really? Because he can't even pay his share of the bills, and when he does, he usually needs half of the money back because he runs out! I mean I'm paying an extra $485 a month to the IRS because he took $40,000 out of his VIP savings without realizing there was a penalty, but he can't afford to pay the $485! But suuuuuuuure...he'll have no problem saving $200 a paycheck!
Do something different
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
Mapper,
We all have gotten into bad habits of doing what we always did.
Why not just let him fall if he must. Stop paying for his stuff. Let him learn by experience. Being left behind in Europe will force him to be, well, resourceful.
He does what he does because he has no reason not to do it.
Through reading your posts, it seems to me that he never has to feel the repercussions.
Very truly,
Liz