Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 03/20/2015.
I was a little flabbergasted when H called me at work this afternoon to tell me that he wants to go in for treatment. I think it's great and I think he REALLY needs it, but I didn't see him actually following through with it. Hopefully this can help him in all other areas of his life too. He said they may call him in today or they may call him in as late as Thursday. It will probably be a 10-30 day treatment. However, that also means that there will be another month, in addition to the last 3 weeks, of him with no income since he has been skipping work and not giving me a reason. On top of all the other bills we now have a $3200 tax bill due.
Hi, Mapper. I think this
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Hi, Mapper. I think this will be a good thing for your husband, IF (yep, big if) he puts effort into getting better. Another big thing: if you are asked to participate in family therapy or other programming with your husband, please, do not lie about what he has been doing (e.g., not going to work) and please be very honest about your evaluation of the situation.
Quite honestly, I don't think
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Quite honestly, I don't think he will quit drinking. He never sticks with any other life changing things he says he's going to do like exercising and eating better and going to work every day. He'll exercise a few times and then back to doing nothing. He'll eat healthy for a week and then start stopping at Burger King all the time. He'll work for a month and then take two weeks off for no reason. He may quit for a month or so, but with his lifestyle and friends, I can't see him abstaining. He goes to the racetrack for the weekend and what does everyone do when the day is done? Bust out the booze and drink the night away. I know he would join them in that and then just tell me it's one weekend and that he'll go back to not drinking when we get home because there won't be any alcohol in the house. I think that will be an excuse any time we go out saying "We rarely go out so just drinking on those nights are fine and then I won't drink again".
I also really think he is using this inpatient treatment as a way to get out of work. Because he said when he called the counselors who assessed him said they didn't think he really needed to be in inpatient but rather outpatient. But he told them there was no way he could deal with not drinking and also having to deal with going to a job he hates. He said he could be there anywhere from 10-30 days. Seeing as he has already not been to work for 3 weeks, we are looking at yet another month of no income from him. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that I have to pay every single bill, including his monthly $350 motorcycle loan payment, and now on top of our $2000 in monthly bills (add to that groceries and gas) we now have to pay $3200 in taxes to the IRS so are doing that in installments but that's still $800 that needs to be paid to them by April 15! His response? "It will all work out in the end. Just relax and trust me! We've made it this far right?" If he had some savings, it would be helpful, but he has $0 in his savings and I think he is down to about $60 in his bank account. However he has 2 credit cards which he has run up about a $3500 debt on!
Why should any of this bother him?
Submitted by redhead1017 on
He sounds a lot like my husband, who hasn't worked for more than four years and who believes that finances just magically replenish themselves. In fact just this week we had a big argument; he was pricing something out with one option being $1000 and the other being $500. His response was "wow barely any difference!" Um seriously? $500 is barely any difference to you? Which led to me being incredulous that he really thought this was okay and then getting pulled into a big argument about how $500 is "so not a big deal". Of course not, when you're not the one who has to work for it!
It's always me that has to worry about things like taxes and bills - he refuses to even talk about it. Beats me why I keep him around at this point, other than the fact than my self-esteem is in the toilet from being in such a dysfunctional relationship for so long. But I'm working to change that - first is getting myself physically healthy, than go from there.
Sorry Mapper, don't mean to hijack your thread, but our stories are very similar. :(