This is more of a curiosity, but as I have dug deeper into what is ADHD and what is not ADHD.....I realized something about my family growing up that I always noticed as different with some of our members in the family and not others. My original thought was about food and personal preferences....but this extends to other things as well such as...restaurants, entertainment, and favorite spots to go visit and revisit again....and again....and again.....and again????
I mentioned once that growing up in our household was like the movie "Groundhog Day"...different day...same old thing. Nothing....ever seemed to change or be different. I always considered this as falling under the heading of personal preference.....but I'm now wondering if ADHD isn't the reason for this? I don't really know?
When it came to food for example....we always ate the exact same things and the menu never changed......hardly. Occasionally....something new would appear once in a blue moon....but pretty much, nothing ever changed when it came to food. The interesting thing here however....came to the DEFINITE food preferences for some people in the family...who were much pickier eaters than others so my mom would have two sets of things in the refrigerator for how these lines got divided it seemed right down the middle for example: some hated butter and only ate margarine and others didn't like margarine and preferred butter so my mom bought both and we always had both on hand. The interesting thing about me in this mix....is I would eat just about anything and margarine was Okay....and so was butter. LOL
I'm not a picky eater and will eat just about anything. I have my preferences...but the only thing I prefer....is not to eat the same thing all the time. I rarely can eat the same left overs 3 days in a row with few exceptions. Variety...is the spice of life as they say and I like variety more than anything when it comes to food.
The interesting thing that I noticed with my sisters and myself to this day.....when it comes to going to a restaurant...a place to visit or revisit.....nothings changed? It's still the same restaurants we go when we get together...and when they order take out for the extended family get together.....it's always the same thing. Same restaurant, same menu items, same order each time without fail???
I on the other hand....prefer to go to a new restaurant more frequently...than going to the same one over and over. And if I do go to the same one....I will try something new each time or go with the special that is not on the menu....just to try it...or just for the Hell of it. Why not I ask??
This pattern I have...seems to extend to other things as well. I like different....and things not always staying the same....by nature? And realizing that we had more than one person (me) in our family who has/had ADHD.......I'm wondering how this plays out with others who have ADHD and how they're habits....also seem to extend to a pattern in others things as well?
I'm curious? For anyone with ADHD....or with someone with ADHD......how does this play out for you or your SO?
Variety..... and not very picky or particular but prefer different over the same thing each time?
or.....
Tastes and preferences are always the same when it comes to food, places and activities and things need to be VERY specific and are rather particular about everything?
Are these things just "personal preferences" and 'tastes"...or are they associated with having ADHD in an either/or type scenario as it seemed in our family.
I'm hoping to get some input into this for myself since it would help answer a lot of questions I have about this that includes a lot of other things that I just don't have room to get into here. Thanks
J
J on habits,
Submitted by Zapp10 on
My H likes the same ol, same ol. He DOES NOT like to even try "different"foods. He is a convenience food junkie....meaning canned or fast. But that is based on his wanting it NOW.(so maybe adhd) He wants to eat THE MOMENT he feel hungry. He does not cook...nor even think about fixing a "full" meal. He does make salmon patties.....and that is all you get......oh and bread and butter.....with EVERYTHING. NO casseroles period. He loves greasy spoon restaurants.......what I like.....not on his radar.....THAT'S Adhd.
Our meals
Submitted by Steph1978 on
I dunno, maybe habit is easy because change is harder for ADHD because with change brings distraction. My family is ADHD, me, my husband, 3 kids. My in-laws eat the same foods all the time, same restaurants, meals, etc. unless they've read in the paper that some news restaurant is good. My father-in-law has ADHD. When my husband does meals it's the meals he knows by heart, but when I do them it's based on what we have available and I never know what we are going to eat next or what the kids might want, and I don't like re-eating meals very often. It's kinda spontaneous, probably because I can't plan well. I'd rather it be more regular but, even on meds, I can't seem to do it that way. Aside from my husband, the rest of us are particular, but I like to try variety anyway. The ADHD kids, though, have a limited variety of foods they like and even eat the same food long enough to burn out on it, as I desperately find new foods they might like. The eldest is finally liking a more diverse diet.
J, interesting question
Submitted by dedelight4 on
This is something interesting. My husband ALSO has always been a very picky eater, coming from his family of origin. His mother HATED cooking and having to fix real food for my father in law, (he ate anything), so she often cooked one dinner for him and other things for her and the "even pickier" kids.
All of the strangest behaviors started from my mother in law, which she daily blamed on her husband, when those of us on the outside could see it was HER.
Like you said J, restaurants were the same, never different,and food was always the same few things. If I took her to a diner, she had to apprive of it first before she would go there. Then at home, she would make a weekly list of food. SAME dinners for the same days of the week, and that rarely changed. Even her conversations were often about these foods, which I found odd. Why TALK about them, when its the SAME THING over and over? (The more I learn, the more I think my MIL was mentally challenged in many ways)
Anyway, my husband wouldn't eat hardly anything. He eats about 5 things, which is horrible to have to try to cook for. He does eat tons of candy, soda and junk food, although recently, he cut way down on soda. I know his mother fostered his limited diet , which she blamed on my husbands older brother. ( her first child) There wasn't ANYTHING my MIL would take ownership of, when it came to anything negative, like behavior, phobias, picky eating, yelling, screaming, rage, whatever, it was ALWAYS someone ELSE'S fault. Guess, that's where my husband got HIS "blaming" from.
My husband kept his mother on a pedestal all these years, and those of us who came into the family from "the outside" could SEE that his mother had issues. He would defend her like crazy, and continue HER version of the warped stories of their family dynamics. If I pointed anything out to him about his mothers behavior, he would laugh and say, "Oh, that's just Mom, being Mom", or get angry and fell me I was wrong, and dismiss me and walk away. He could point out bad about my mother and parents, but I couldn't do the same about HIS Mom. And, he didn't want to SEE the hypocrisy in his own actions, or if he did see it, wouldn't admit it.
The types of food and eating habits is something that could really be researched more again, I think. It's really interesting that so MANY people with ADHD have similar or identical stories about their home life.
Thanks Steph and Dede.....for Sharing Your Expereinces?
Submitted by kellyj on
This is a real chicken or the egg thing which is why I asked? Nature or nuture here? Still not sure?
It seemed....I just turned out different and I'm still curious to why that is? I don't think that can ever really be answered but....what you described (Dede) about you H saying....
"Oh, that's just Mom, being Mom", or get angry and fell me I was wrong, and dismiss me and walk away. He could point out bad about my mother and parents, but I couldn't do the same about HIS Mom. And, he didn't want to SEE the hypocrisy in his own actions, or if he did see it, wouldn't admit it."
My wife is the same way....and even my own sisters have said that "Oh...that's just Mom being Mom" thing.
Well....that's all good and fine BUT.......why? I guess....I always wanted to know why? And when you ask "why"...and never get an answer.....this raises your consciousness level and peak your interest? "What are they trying to hide? What is not being said? These are all things....I want to Know??" LOL Which I usually proceeded...to go find out on way or the other and then come back to report what I had found out? It didn't take for long when you come back and say what you found.....to get a negative response in form of some kind of judgement...as to "why" everyone else is wrong?
Well.....that's all good and I see how everyone else is wrong....but that still doesn't answer the question as to why....."you are right?" lol
Steph....I was wondering about the thing you said about "getting burned out" on things? This was what I was thinking too...and wondering how this works with ADHD?
I get burned out...really quickly on things and want something new to try? But even with foods that I like....I can't eat them all the time or I get tired of them and don't really feel like eating them if I do that? And I'm not great with planning meals either (but I don't have kids ) but.....I know for myself in part......that I never know what I'm going to feel like eating...until I'm there and hungry? It always seems like I know what I want....when I get there but never before? I tend to wait until it's time to eat...and then decide what to make or what I want to eat. Generally....I don't get too many hankerings for things ahead of time and am constantly wanting something or needing anything in particular in thinking ahead of time. That does sound rather impulsive doesn't it?
But at the same time....I am not addictive by nature. That goes right along with getting burned out on ANYTHING...after too much time...and it never goes any further....because of that reason alone. Once something stops....."cutting it for me"....I get tired of it and move on? It doesn't matter what it is and this is just my make up in general?
Without speculating any further...I wonder if these lines have more to do with "Inattentive type ADHD"...and "Hyperactive Type ADHD?" and how it gets manifested?
I'm predominately "Hyper"...but I'm the male version of it? My oldest sister is definitely the "inattentive Type " and fits that profile perfectly. She's the one who is most picky and the one where everything is still ground hog day at her house.
My other sister is more like me and is very active and kind and pretty hyper herself. She is much more "adventuresome" like me...and my other sister is more "rooted" and likes things always to be the same?
"Adventuresome" or "Rooted" ? That's a good way to describe it? Why and how this associates with ADHD and these two types...is really starting to interest me even more. Since my wife....is also ADHD (diagnosed) and can see some real similarities in comparing her to my oldest sister?
This whole concept of "avoidant/dissmissive attachment style.....Inattentive ADHD.....(gender)...and being "Rooted" and/or "Adventuresome"...is really beginning to show a pattern to me?
I like and seek....."Adventure"....."new experiences"....."variety".....and "taking chances" (that can be good and bad depending on of course? )and things "not always being the same."
"Change is "good"......being the same...is not so good"....in my mind as a general rule?
This would also line up really perfectly with someone who is more "inattentive" instead? This seems to go along with everything else here here as well in comparison to me?
"Resists change" and gets "rooted" easily. "Ground hog day" "New things" or "ideas" can be "threatening" or "dismisses" these things easily, addictive personalities (perhaps?) instead of getting burned out on things easily? More conservative perhaps? And not wanting to do anything new or anything different...in a more general way?
If you compare those things to "impulsiveness" and being "active" or "hyperactive"....these things seem to line up pretty well?
Thanks again for sharing this Steph. By the way...out of curiosity? Do you know what "type" ADHD you, your husband and your kids? Does this seem to be true for you and each member of your family if they are different in this way?
PS....My (insecure attachment style in the past....was and still is if I start back sliding is "Anxious/Preoccupied". If you think about being restless, anxious and hyperactive....that seems to fit there too? More to think about...but I find this all fascinating and actually very telling? For nothing more than understanding and really being able to empathize with people...I've found this to be hugely beneficial for me in order to do this just so you know why I wanted to know?
It's good to understand the people who are closest to you....so you can learn to read and interpret them better and really understand them? That's the beauty of this for me and it really does help?
J