I'm stepping out on a limb here as I never wrote on a forum.  Too much to say, but I'm a 38 yr old male with a wife and 8 yr old son. I "divorced" my entire family, have no one in my life from the first 26 yrs of my life, and have no friends close enough to reach out to. I'm the one with ADHD and my wife is a therapist and complete opposite of ADHD. My son has it as well, we're both medicated and I'm in weekly talk therapy. My wife is going thru a major depressive episode mostly due to financial trouble I put us in two years ago and the pandemic. We've been working hard ton things and Covid hasn't helped.  We both own our own businesses and she out on a medical leave.

Tonight, without thinking, I made a crack that, "well I have to fire my therapist because he likes a rival big ten school."  Her good mood turned a 180 and she nearly had an anxiety attack.  Quiet until later on (we stayed in separate rooms), she called me to the basement and told me she hated me over and over and that I am a f------ piece of s--- and that I'm the reason she wants to kill herself and that I should do the manly thing for my family and go kill myself so they can have the $1M life insurance payout to not have to deal with me anymore.  She then said she couldn't be certain in her fits of anger what she would do to me (murder).  

I felt awful on my thoughtless comment and got so mad at myself for always screwing up my progress.  Every time my work shows progress I do something to erode that.  I'm so lost and need support during the week between sessions because I don't know who to turn to. 

I'm desperate to save my marriage and strengthen my family because a divorce would be devastating on all of us, especially my son.