Submitted by tiredofbeinghis... on 05/03/2021.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with ADHD hoarding? I can't get into my garage, there is a path from the basement steps to the washer and dryer, and there are piles of "stuff" everywhere. I can't reason with him because he is in denial and untreated. If I try to toss anything my ADHD spouse freaks out and starts throwing my belongings out into the garbage or into the backyard. I am drowning in clutter.
My ex would bring random crap
Submitted by SJC2021 on
My ex would bring random crap to her house. Her garage was filled with Halloween outfits from five years ago, you name it. She even brought home a life size cutout of The Rock.
There is a hoarder component to ADHD IMO. I don't know why. I think its because they develop comorbidities and hoarding is one of them. Not sure.
My advice- wait until hes gone / asleep/ whatever and start throwing stuff out, little by little.
Small stuff first as to not raise awareness.
If really desperate, call 911 for a medical problem. Have the firemen see the hoarding and have them refer the address to the city as a possible fire danger.
The city should send someone out to get the ball rolling. Let him deal with the inspectors. They may keep him calm since they are the authorities.
I did it several times during my career when we went to a house that was overrun with crap. I told them point blank I would not try to save them in a fire.
I'm not getting killed under a mountain of crap because someone is a hoarder. Good luck.
hoarding and clutter
Submitted by whydidInotseethisB4 on
I am/have walked in these shoes...I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I had to put my foot down FIRMLY over my own personal space and it's a continual battle really. All of the out buildings and barns of full of junk, storage building (paid) is full and he's always hauling crap home. We have a vintage and antique finds business, so it's his reason to bring it. He is always thrilled when he finds new stuff. And while I will saying something positive about those things, I immediately ask him to either price it and locate it to the shop within x number of days or he must find somewhere outside of the house to put it.
I've had to find ways to cope and it's really hard. I cleaned out my bedroom since we sleep separately and refuse to allow him to clutter my space. I will pick up daily and put the things he has not found a home for in his chair and insist on common areas to remain neat and clean. I've probably headed off things in my house to where they aren't like what you see on TV. But the buildings...yes, it's a nope for me ever going into them ever again. I had to reduce my livestock farming because there's little space to care for my own animals any longer. He's talked about quitting the antiques business and I said I would support that IF he agreed to have an auction to liquidate it all. What on earth would we need inventory for if there is no longer a business??? He wasn't receptive so here we are...
I'm right here with you. We
Submitted by ExtremelyPatientMan on
I'm right here with you. We struggle with this too in our home. So much so that I took it upon myself to get a storage unit nearby to literally buy me more square feet. Six months later, guess what - we've got a full storage unit and new piles in old places. Pretty depressing. So buying more space isn't the answer. I'm now pushing for my spouse to get an ADHD-trained coach and/or organizer. I'm helping with this, but it's clear to me from past experience that she has to find someone she likes and will work with, not someone I choose. I just need a third person in the room to get me out of the parent-child dynamic. She's agreed to do this, and we've set a mutual deadline of 2 weeks from now. Wish us luck, and good luck to you too.
Good luck!
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Good luck!