We were supposed to go on holiday yesterday, but had to cancel it. My partner (who has ADHD) had terrible mood swings the day before we were supposed to go. He says it is due to a conflict with hos family (he has serious relation trauma and the family often lets him down). He got moody and angry towards me, and I felt so disappointed (this has happened several times before and we couldn´t complete our plans). We had long been looking forward to the holiday and I felt like we really needed something positive - after a year with relationship conflict and problems. He goes to anger management classes and has a difficult temper.
I am new to this forum. My partner is newly diagnosed with ADHD and we have a young child. Sorry for my English (it is not my native language).
My problem is that once he has these mood swings, I get into a difficult mood and I cant get out of that state. He suggested we go on the holiday anyway, but I couldn´t get into a good mood again. It felt like I had lost all hope and the good emotions about going away had been damaged - once again.
What to do? I am thinking of leaving him. But as I said we have a young child and he is a good dad (and he has some good qualities, apart from these bad ones). He says he wants to do better - but end up making the same mistakes over and over again. We had being doing better for a few weeks now - WHY start something the day before going on holiday? It seems like he is deeply destructive in some ways.
I am highly sensitive and his mood and anger affects me deeply. I also feel like I have no one to turn to (my dad is sick with cancer so I dont want to upset my family. I have friends but few of them are very close, and I don´t want everyone to know about our large problems...
That's so disappointing, Writer
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
I'm sorry about your holiday plans. That must have been so disappointing. I had similar issues with my ex ADHD partner. In his case, he would get very stressed out about upcoming holidays, despite the fact that I did most of the work for them. Just leaving the house on time to catch a flight was always an explosion that would sour the trip for me for several days. Only you can decide about leaving or staying. For me, leaving was right, but it took me years to get to that. It helped me to write things down. I wrote down what was going right and what was going wrong. I wrote down how much he was willing to work on each issue in our marriage (for most issues, not at all). I wrote down a "Why I Should Stay" list and a "Why I Should Go" list. This all really helped. I also kept a daily journal for a month so I could objectively see how many good days and bad days there were, and how many times our lives were impacted by ADHD symptoms. All of this helped me make up my mind.
Sorry for what you're going through and I'm sorry about your dad.
P.S. Your English is perfect!!
Same here i don't even have
Submitted by carolineamazed on
Same here i don't even have the energy to write i just don't think i want to stay with him anymore... but then i still ove him i don't want to hurt anymore like this. What hurts me the most is the fact that he isn't able to see that he's hurting me till i'm gone ... i can't do off on offs anymore