My husband has ADHD, dyslexia, depression, has been laid off twice in recent years, and is a pretty nasty (verbally abusive), and angry with me all the time. We have been to see professionals (the top of the food chain), marriage counseling, and now our first grader is in therapy once a week, as am I - the solo breadwinner in our house. We have been married for 8.5 years now, two kids, boy 7, girl 5. Oh, he probably drinks too much as well.
I think my husband is playing up the adhd aspect and feels he does not need to work. I know he does not want to. He makes NO effort to find a job. This is a man with an undergraduate degree and an MBA from the #1 entrepreneurial business school in the US.
Seriously, every friend and family has told me to leave him as his negativity is taking it's toll on me and certainly, negatively impacting out children. I wanted to help him, I tried, but while I have taken this horse to water, I cannot make him drink....
What to do?
You may leave
Submitted by jennalemon on
You know the answer to your question. You don't HAVE to stay in a difficult marriage. You are an adult. We can make our own decisions and plans and actions.
I am sorry you are carrying a very heavy load. When children are young, it seems that the help that the ADDer does give seems needed.... as it is some help. I didn't think I had enough family, friends and resources to be able to survive alone. Sometimes it was so demeaning...like I didn't exist. I was not cared for or loved. It is SO important to have support of family and friends so that we are not so dependent on our ADDer who keeps letting us down.
The real question is, "Why do we stay?" financial, fear, religion, family values, don't know how, don't have a place to go, don't have support????? I am struggling too. Many times I wish we could have a tele-conference with those of us who are struggling with similar problems.
Thank you....
Submitted by Harried on
Hi, thank you for your words. I do know how I feel in my heart and I know why I stay. I do believe that I can live a better, happier, healthier life than I am doing now. I am taking baby steps to get to that end goal, with the support of friends and family. I also wish we had a place to meet up and chat : )