Submitted by PoisonIvy on 02/17/2012.
OK, all you nonworriers, give me your best tips! My older daughter is in trouble at college, a second time that she has messed up and alcohol has been involved. I will leave out the gory (actually, kind of funny and pathetic) details. Anyway, how do I, nonADHD parent and spouse, slow down my heart; keep my stomach from roiling; and generally calm my mind to a reasonable extent until Monday, when dear daughter meets with the school's conduct officer? I have given my daughter good advice, I think, about how to respond: get help for her alcohol problem! But I have a feeling that in a few hours, I"m going to crash and have my PTSD-like response of intense (and pointless, I know) worrying.
What I do
Submitted by gardener447 on
Things to try:
1. Get a piece of paper, and very quickly write down everything that's whirling around in your mind... a few things unrelated to the current "situation" will probably pop up. Go fast, don't censor. No need to write whole sentences... all the things you think might happen, you think "should" be done, what others think, etc. etc. Might take a minute or an hour. ;)
2. Get another piece of paper. Write down one thing you can do right now about this situation. If there is nothing you can do, say to yourself "okay, everything that can be done by me has been done." If there is something you think you can do, ask if you should do it, or is it more appropriately done by someone else (your daughter?) or would it be interfering? Helpful?
3. Breath for a few minutes. If your mind returns to the issue, breath some more.
4. Until you can get to Monday, whenever new "worries" pop up, add them to the list, or remind yourself they are already on the list... you've worked through what can be done, and more "work" on the issue is wasted energy.
5. Do something else that's engrossing and productive --
6. Repeat as necessary.
I have used these techniques to get through my dad suddenly in the hospital in another state, my husband "missing" for 6 hours (he really wasn't missing after all), a major disaster at work that couldn't be "solved" until a week from now, etc. Just keep reminding yourself that churning, whirling thoughts aren't getting you anywhere. As my dad used to say, do something about it, or put it down.
Best wishes.
Thank you, gardener447. Just
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Thank you, gardener447. Just reading this helped! I haven't had time to write things down but I've noted them on my "mental scratchpad." It seems to be helping.