We currently have 2 adult cats and my husband has been wanting to get a kitten. I am more than happy with 2 cats but finally after months gave into a kitten. Then his mom tells us she's got a bunch of feral cats on their farm and 5 kittens. My husband then tells me we should get 2 kittens to help her out. I VERY reluctantly agree to 2 kittens. She is driving out to Washington from Iowa to bring them to us. We specifically told her TWO kittens and we picked out the ones we wanted. I just found out that she plans on driving out here with all 5 of the kittens because she is giving them extra milk and that way her husband won't have to worry about doing it and this way we can pick the 2 we want and she can take the rest back with her.
Am I crazy for asking her to JUST bring the 2 we picked? I do not need 5 kittens in addition to our 2 adult cats roaming around our 1000 square foot house for the weekend! I even told my husband a few days ago "Watch, she will probably bring more than 2 cats" and sure enough! She says not to worry as they will be in a cage the whole time. I don't want them to sit in a cage the whole time either! This woman is a hoarder. I have only been in her house once but there was basically just enough room to get down the hallway and everything else was piled with crap. They apparently have 30 cats (indoor and outdoor) 4 dogs and I have no idea how many chickens and goats. It's one of those places where you are there for 5 mintues and feel the need to take an immediate shower to get the yuck off of you.
I told my husband I didn't want her bring 5 kittens and he said he'd talk to her. You know how hard he tried? He sent her a text saying "Please just bring the 2 kittens we asked for. Mapper will get stressed out with more than that LOL". Oh yes, please make it so nonchalant! Then a few minutes later he texted her and said "You know what, just bring all of them". Yup. I get home and he goes "Here's the deal. I am asking her to bring all of them so we can see which ones get along with the older cats. I'm sorry to overrule you but I think that's best".
I am so extremely stressed out right now. 2 adult cats, 5 kittens and a mother in law for the weekend, or who knows, maybe even longer. I think I have every right to be upset. Not only at H, but at MIL for disrespecting what we asked of her. Then H is going to post pictures on Facebook of the kittens in case anyone wants the others. Oh let me guess someone will want one but won't be able to come get it for a week and we'll be stuck with 3, 4 or even 5 of them!
That sounds dreadful. My
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
That sounds dreadful. My animal travails with my husband involve him saying a few times in the past few years that he wanted to bring the family dog to his parents' house, where he lives most of the time. Now, this would be a great idea, if not for a few things: 1) first dog (who is now dead) did not like being in any house except ours; when she was at other houses, she would be very obviously nervous; 2) mother-in-law has Alzheimer's disease and would have to be watched all the time while in the dog's presence; 3) father-in-law has mobility problems and would probably trip over the dog; 4) father-in-law is mean and used to make comments about shooting dogs; 5) current dog seems afraid of my husband. The fact that my husband didn't recognize all these things on his own really bothered me.
I WISH we just had a dog!
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
I love animals but that doesn't mean I want a zoo in my house! H grew up this way in a hoarding situation with animals all over. I grew up without pets in a very clean house. 2 permanent cats is manageable. 4 permanent cats is not. And 7 cats for the weekend is unthinkable! He doesn't think about if we go away for a long period who will watch them. He doesn't think about vet bills, or food bills or getting more litter boxes. These cats are feral and live in a barn. They aren't litter box trained. Does he realize they will probably pee all over the house? Does he realize they will have fleas? Nope all he sees is the now and if I try to talk to him about all these issues he will say "You just need to chill out. Everything will be fine. You will love them." Just totally dismiss my thoughts and feelings!
Oh, I totally get it. It
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Oh, I totally get it. It sounds like your husband, like mine, tries to make the issue be the spouse's alleged lack of compassion instead of his lack of awareness and responsibility.
He sees it as "helping" his
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
He sees it as "helping" his mom out by taking 2 of them. Why doesn't she just give them to the Humane Society out there? Everyone loves kittens. I see it as he is adding more issues to issues we already have of unfinished projects and money being thrown at expensive bikes and bike parts and 2 cats that already do enough damage by puking on the carpet, tearing up the carpet and the baseboards and leaving their hair everywhere.
Just like when he HAD to have his friends bike for $2400 (which I paid for by the way) not simply because it is an awesome bike but as a way to remember him. I mean how can I deny him that right??!! Then he had to take his friends awesome generator because it's so huge it can run the house when we lose power (which has never happened) and all he has to do is run exhaust out the back (right cause THAT's going to happen!). But it was SUCH a steal he HAD to have it. Well the battery is dead in it and I guarantee you it will collect dust in the garage.
Weekend away
Submitted by inneedofsupport on
Sure, but that would just be
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Sure, but that would just be rude to his mother! Anyways, I still have to come back home to 4 permanent cats! If it were just the cats then maybe I could handle the weekend, but add his mother on top of it and I am going to have a flipping breakdown! They are going to be at each others throats in a matter of hours. I am looking forward to this as much as I looked forward to his daughter visiting us once a month when they were on speaking terms!
Speaking of breakdowns...her car better not do that! They have such horrible cars that it wouldn't surprise me. Surprise! Guess who is staying the week while her car gets fixed!
Boy have things taken a
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Boy have things taken a totally different path since I wrote the above 3 weeks ago. So his mom comes and doesn't stay just for 2 days but rather a week! I KNEW that was going to happen! I also knew that H would be fed up with his mom in less than a day and sure enough he couldn't stand being around her and would pull the old "I'm tired and going to bed" at 6PM at night leaving me out in the living room with her! Oh and the 5 kittens that were only going to spend the weekend until she took 3 of them back with her? Yeah, all 5 ended up staying with us because H said that he had some others who were interested in the other 3 because they had made comments on Facebook of "Aww I want to see pictures" and he apparently assumed it meant that they were interested in them. Well nobody was interested in them so I put out word at my work. Several people were interested in one of them but H didn't want to let that one go either because it was too cute. So I agreed to keep 3 of the cats to make him happy. Then we had 2 people come and look at the other two and when they left to go home and think about it my husband didn't think that they knew much about them and he was becoming attached to a 4th kitten so he didn't want to give that one up either. And of course, after keeping 4 he then didn't want to give up the 5th one either so we are keeping 5 kittens on top of 2 adult cats who haven't adjusted to them and are stressed and hissing and swatting at them most of the time. It is absolutely ridiculous. He didn't want to give them up to a no kill shelter either, even though he knew someone who worked there.
Oh and this is the best. Me who is the clean freak without 7 kittens does nonstop cleaning now. H says "I'll help with the litter scooping and feeding and buying food so you don't get stressed out since I'm mostly to blame for this.". Wait, what??? You are MOSTLY to blame for this???? You are 100% to blame for this! I was perfectly happy with our 2 adult cats and you finally, after months, got me to agree to A kitten. Then you didn't want to go and look at the shelter for whatever reason and posted that we were looking for a kitten but the shelters didn't have any so you were wondering if anyone had any suggestions. The shelters had tons of kittens! Then your mom responded that she had a bunch of barn kittens that she'd drive out and I told you to ask her to only bring 2 but you insisted she bring all 5. YOU are the reason we have these cats. Sure they are cute, but that doesn't mean I want all of them.
Then he was saying to one of the kittens a few days ago that "You are to blame for this" meaning that that one was too cute to give up which made him want to keep all of them. I said "You should have told your mom to just bring 2 of them" and he immediately pipes up "I couldn't. She was already on her way when she told us". Blatant flat out lie! She told us she was bringing all 5 THREE days BEFORE she left!! And he flat out ignored my request for him to tell her to bring only 2 and tells her to bring all 5. I tell him this and he goes "Okay you are right. Whatever." and changed the subject. Then the very next day he says the same exact thing that she was already on her way with all 5 of them and I once again tell him that wasn't the case and he gets all upset and goes "Okay I just wanted to save as many as possible from that situation." Really? Or is that just your latest reasoning for doing what you did?
So our lives know revolve around constant feedings and playing and running around of kittens. I am sleep deprived because of it and we can't sit and watch a show anymore because he is constantly oohing and aahing over the kittens and talking to them in baby voices that I can't hear parts of a show.