Following last week's Facebook post of my wife right next to someone without a mask, she told me that she wants to go to a local restaurant with this friend. I said that it was not safe because they would be eating without masks within six feet of each other. Then she said they would get takeout and go to the park.
Last night, we went to a special bar. There were several tables and a few barrels as tables. I was OK with this because it was just the two of us. Now she tells me - again after posting this on Facebook! - that she wants to go back there with several friends! I had to once again point out that she would be too close to people outside of our household without masks. "Oh, we'll stand then."
If I can't trust her to make good decisions when planning, how can I trust her that she will maintain social distance in the moment when I am not there???? Naturally, she does not think this line of reasoning is "fair."
She is impulsive and she wants to socialize with her friends.
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
Seems like this is an instance of ADHD's 'Now' and 'NotNow'. She is impulsive and she wants to socialize with her friends. And she will. Your harangues will have far more impact on you than they will on her. Sad but true.
I think most of us, deal w/ the same issues.....
Submitted by c ur self on
No matter what the REAL numbers are teaching us about this virus....I can feel for you....When they first asked people to not go out, or mingle in order to learn about the virus, and minimize the spread....My add wife was fine with it...Until, our youngest son age 28 (add also) who lives and works in Atlanta called and wanted to come here just to hang out for the weekend...Which I returned his text message w/ something like this....We love you and are always happy to see you come for a visit, but, since we are quarantining (as we all were being asked to do)...Now isn't a good time....I suggested he minimize getting out also....
Well she pouted, and said I don't love her biological children (which I've always been there for them, but, I hold them accountable, and don't enable them, which she does)...He ended up driving to his brother's tiny house and piling in on them, and they have a baby.....It is what it is...I can't control her, (nor do I want to) but, I can control what I feel is the right thing for me....
Covid
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
My fiance ( with ADHD ) is the opposite. He is keeping his circle small. The only people he has associated with since March is Me, my daughter who lives with me, his Mom and Stepdad, and 3 neighbors who live by him. He usually has groceries delivered, or orders and picks them up. He does occasionally run into a store to get something, but he wears a mask. The only other times he is out is to go to a doctors appointment or physical therapy once a week. He is genuinely afraid of getting Covid, due to his heart attack in February.
It has been difficult on him, as he is a very social person, and he stopped going into the office at the end of February. He works from home, and its just him and his bird on most days. He has been feeling the effects of being more isolated, and it hasn't been good for him. We don't see each other as much as we did pre covid, and I am working from home also. I don't see the point in spending a week at his house, and have to drive back to my house M-F for work. (I also don't want to leave a 17 year old by herself for a week.)
He is still smoking his weed every day, even though the cardiologist told him to stop smoking.
He is mostly cautious, so I don't have the worry that you do with your wife. I can feel the stress you are under from your postings...Hang in there.