A quick definition: There is no commitment to a way of thinking and no concern about that lack of commitment.
Combined with ADD: Picture that lack of an inner core of Who I Am, smothered in a host of defensive behaviors, well practiced, to ward off criticism.
It's a normal stage of development, generally resolved in the teenaged years. I think it's a stage that some ADD simply never gets around to. Too distracted, too... busy fighting off criticism, or self-medicating, or whatever.
Combined with some rapid-fire vacillating between seeing significant others as either all-good (You agree with me!) or all-bad (You said No!?!!?), this can come across as extraordinarily narcissistic. Except I don't think it is, really. The fewer limits placed on the individual during the formative years, as in my husband's case, the more closely it resembles narcissism; but in him, there is none of the desire to tear down the one who frustrates him, simply for the sake of punishing that person. I've known pathological narcissists. They are quite sadistic.
I believe that the "something else" in the picture along with ADD, in some cases, is borderline personality. It's the neurotic who sometimes takes a walk on the psychotic side. I've seen the psychotic side more often in the past year because of the stresses of operating his own business, combined with overmedication on adderall and only God knows what else.
Just a bit of what I've learned over the past weekend. Maybe someone else would want to research and could relate.
This is good information....
Submitted by c ur self on
Excellent post...I see this same behavior...the more stress, the more pressure...the more lose of focus, the more psychotic behavior. One of the posters on this site, I have come to respect, said it something like this: It can come to a point where everything just white's out, reality is lost and they would say or do about anything to stop the noise...My wife can do this w/ something as simple as trying to follow me in one of my detailed thoughts on a subject...so now when she blurts out...WILL YOU STOP IT!...I don't take it personal...I just see I threw her into overload...She had been lost and overwhelmed....
A program I heard
Submitted by Standing on
C ur self, my line of thought comes from a broadcast I heard with Dr. Henry Cloud, one of the Boundaries book authors. He was talking about the Borderline disorder and how all of the vacillating back and forth, the black and white thinking, creates such a chaotic mess. The program hit alot of nerves and I knew that this was the right track. Sounds like alot of experts don't think much can be done for "borderlines", but as far as I know, there's nobody beyond help except maybe a reprobate. We may have lots of fancy names for peoples' issues these days, but there is really nothing new under the sun, right? :)
You just make me smile ;)
Submitted by c ur self on
but there is really nothing new under the sun, right? :)
I agree, there is not;)...If we can just avoid the vanity and vexation of spirit...And find true peace for ourselves, we will have apprehended the good life!
Vanity and Vexation of Spirit
Submitted by Standing on
Yes! That is the story of my family of origin. A large part of the reason why I have traveled my path has been my un-inspired efforts to NOT be... my mother. Vanity and vexation sums it up. Through all of my life, I watched Dad blaze his own trail around all that. His method included drinking large quantities of alcohol, which I have tried and subsequently abandoned ;) That aside, what got Dad through was his faith, his sheer joy of helping others, and his hobbies. This worked for him for over 90 years. Was he miserable because my mother was emotionally unable to meet his needs? No way. The man was constitutionally incapable of remaining miserable and his integrity and faith would not allow him to blame his wife for his circumstances. Nothing in this life could make me more satisfied or fulfilled as to follow his example (well,mostly) :)
Thanks, Standing!!!
Submitted by julie jay on
i REALLY needed to see your post about your dad today...i knew there was a reason i came here today. thank you thank you thank you!!! you have no idea.
Thank you for saying so, JulieJay
Submitted by Standing on