Yesterday morning, he left before I knew he was gone "to work?". He does not have a place of business, just a small warehouse full of his junk where he "hangs out" saying he is working there or he is "on the road" and will mention the name of some old client. He does not say good bye. He didn't come home until 10pm. He didn't say hello or good night. This morning, when I asked where he was he said, the "shop" and then went on his way without saying good bye. This guy needs NO connection AT ALL! His independence and freedom from responsibility is more valuable to him that his wife and home (or he is hiding something). I am reading about how spouses of people who drink and are impulsive and irresponsible are sometimes obsessive about their spouses whereabouts and activities.....I have become an obsessive, leary, anxious wife. Why is it so hard to stop thinking about THEM? Why am I thinking about HIS activities? It is my work to get involved in things that make me fulfilled and busy. Yet, I have the thoughts that when he doesn't take care of things, things fall apart and it affects me. It feels like the roof will be falling on my head, It is only a matter of time. A person becomes vigilant when there is unseen, oncoming calamity. I write these things because I have been denying so much for so long that I need to write and read them to get it in my head about why I feel so bad.