My husband finally agreed to try an ADHD medicine after receiving full evaluation and diagnosis for his ADHD. Our son had been diagnosed and treated for several years before he, my spouse, finally agreed that he needed to address his own ADHD symptoms. Another forced job resignation finally moved him to a place of openness about diagnosis. He decided to try Vyvanse since our son was trying it at the same time. Unfortunately after a short trial, we ended up removing our son from it since it basically turned him into a mean, ugly monster with fowl language and total disregard for treating others with respect. It only exacerbated his impulsivity and made him quite irritable in the evenings when it waned from his system. Despite this decision, my husband now refuses to try something different, says he's seeing great improvement at work (at his new job) and "doesn't want to remove his glasses."
I am all for treating ADHD with both medicine and behavioral/therapeutic changes but things have been so bad at our house lately that I am at the point of saying, "Let's go back to the way it was" before Vyvanse. My husband is irritable - all the time, is defensive, (every word that comes out of my mouth is taken as an accusation), and indeed even combative when he is on Vyvanse. To me it seems all the time, not just when the drug is waning at the end of the day. He insists that it is not the Vyvanse and that is it all me, that I need to change. He has even said this to our therapist in our therapy sessions. He is stuck in a place of anger that he just cannot get out of. At the moment he is saying that he will maybe try another drug when he can get into see our family doctor, about 8 weeks from now (maybe sooner, only if an appointment opens up and my husband can fit it into his schedule). He says he doesn't trust anyone else to help him make a decision on a different medicine. He also has said that he really doesn't think it is the Vyvanse so that could also be the reason for his lackluster attitude on making a change.
I need to know how disruptive I need to be. If there wasn't new medicine on board and he was acting this way I suppose I would take the kids and leave, or ask him to. I feel that by considering it as a medicine issue, I'm at least giving him the benefit of the doubt. This type of behavior without medicine would be absolutely unacceptable and unsafe for my family. There are many, many other issues that we need to work out as part of our healing and repairing our relationship after finally getting diagnosis and treatment. And I know that old habits / patterns put into place in order to survive with a spouse with undiagnosed / untreated ADHD for 22 years are hard to break. We need to work on all those things, but what do I do if we can't even get off of square one and move past this issue which is making all other issues ten times worse? I do also know that the "fog" of ADHD is a symptom and that the ADHD spouse cannot see the issues when they are not properly treated. But it is as if the Vyvanse is only making that fog more dense, the exact opposite of what it is supposed to do. His word- impulsivity is worse, his impatience exacerbated, his irritability off the charts, and his defensiveness off the hook. What can I do as a spouse to let his doctor know this is going on, what are the privacy issues and ways around them? His doctor is extremely difficult to get in to see as I mentioned above- way too overbooked with patients. Any thoughts, ideas, comments are welcome. And, I guess if its not the Vyvanse then I really do need to make plans to get out of my situation...
Both vyvanse and Ritalin had
Submitted by Xayla on
Both vyvanse and Ritalin had similar side effects for me and I too felt like the problem was everyone else and not me. I noticed you said your family doctor is the one prescribing the meds. I would get him to see a doctor that is more qualified for recommending different medications and recognizing the side effects. As this is a class 2 drug doesn't he have to see a doctor before then for a refill any way? I have to go once a month just to get the prescription and my psychologist does an entire assessment on me each time.
Is it the Vyvanse?
Submitted by Weigh2late on
<p>Thank you Xayla. He has appointment set only every 90 days, I guess that's the law in our state. The next one is set for July while we are on vacation and then in October after that. If you have to make a change in appointment time you are at the mercy of the Dr's overbooked schedule. September is the earliest available , if my husband has even solidified an appointment at this point. He is on a cancelation list but claims his schedule is so booked at work with travel, etc. he's rarely able / willing to drop what he's doing if he gets a call on a cancelation. He just isn't putting in the effort or willingness to work on the issue. That is what I'm probably most concerned about. I agree he needs to see a psychiatrist with knowledge in treating ADHD but he insists on sticking with our family doctor whom he trusts. I think its a case of whatever suggestion comes from me (or our therapist at this point) is bad and won't be listened to. I 've asked my husband to find another therapist if he wants to and to consider a psychiatrist to use as well - so far, no action. Totally frustrated and wondering how long I should keep waiting after all this time of him not acknowledging his symptoms and getting treated (about 7 years since we became aware through out son).</p>
Side Effects
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Many of the ADHD medications can have side effects, including increasing irritability, though the one that is most often connected with that is a different stimulant, Adderall. Often, adults with ADHD can get rid of the side effect by either changing the dose (usually decreasing it) or by trying a different medication - perhaps in the other class of stimulants in this case, or perhaps moving to a non-stimulant, such as Wellbutrin (an anti-depressant used to treat ADHD). One of the posters below suggested it might be a good idea to work with a doctor who specializes in medication management for those with ADHD and I agree - there are many things that are peculiar to these meds and how people respond to them. As one example, with ADHD meds there is little correlation between impact of the medication and body weight (in other words some people who are very large need only a little medication, while others who are very small need a lot of the same medication for it to work.)
For more information about optimizing treatment for adult ADHD, I recommend that you download my free treatment chapter at this link. Though I am not a doctor, the chapter was reviewed for accuracy by Dr. Ned Hallowell, Dr. John Ratey and Mary Solanto, PhD (now with NYU) - some of the top experts in the field.
The bottom line is that, assuming your husband has been properly diagnosed, your husband has little to lose by trying a different medication or dose. It's quite possible that he will find one that manages symptoms similarly or better than the Vyvanse but, hopefully, without emotional side effects. Worst case scenario, he does not find a better option, then could go back to the Vyvanse. A good doctor familiar with the various options can help him figure out which other medications might also be likely to have negative emotional or irritability side effects for him (they are pretty well known in the field) and which others might be his best options.