My wife and i have been married for 3 years, but have been together for 9 years total. We moved to a different city 9 months ago and had a terrible move. The previous tenants in our house were "moving this weekend" for six weeks. So we ended up sitting in our house with boxes everywhere, with no jobs(and i lost the job that i had lined up bc we couldnt move in time for me to go to training), our kitchen was packed, so we ate a lot of junk food and gained weight, and we burned through all of our savings. We were both extremely depressed and struggled to do anything at all besides sleep. We started taking lexapro, and it helped with the depression, but it made us both tired, which then have us a lot of anxiety, bc we werent accomplishing enough. We went back to the dr to get some help for that. We had taken adderall in college and we both knew some of the bad side effects of amphetamines, but we got a prescription for vyvance anyways, we were desperate. At first it was great, we were accomplishing more and were happy about that. After a month or two, i started getting crippling anxiety from it some days. My wife was having similar days, but was less willing to be critical of the drug that she "needed." She also started falling back into an old routine. Sleeping in and not taking her vyvance until noon. Then smoking weed to offset the anxiety until she goes into a 4pm shift at a restaurant. In spite of me making her her favorite breakfasts and/or protein shakes, she would never eat more than a bite and later tell me that she "ate a ton of food at work." She would then hit the bottle and get hammered on an empty stomach before passing out until noon the next day to do it all over again. I got her to agree to go on a diet with me which included no alcohol or sugar (just meat and veggies mainly). I did this for 3 weeks and stopped the vyvance in the first week and started weening down my lexapro. I was completely off of lexapro within a month after that. My wife was not successful with the diet and only made it 3 days without alcohol, and started lying about her alcohol consumption. It was as bad as ever. And of course she was nasty to me all the time while in this self destructive cycle. I told her that i was gonna leave her if she didnt stop taking vyvance. She stopped for a couple of weeks and hated me the whole time, but she started to get better to be around. Then she had appts with the therapist and doctor in the same week. They both told her that "she needed this medication" and that i "was wrong for telling her not to take it." She came home after each appt and used this information as a weapon against me. She started taking vyvance again immediately, and its as bad as ever. Her side of the story says something to the extent of me not being supportive enough, and she is depressed bc her husband doesnt love her. In fact, i am disgusted by her and it is so hard to hide it. Me, one of the horniest ppl i have ever known...i havent tried to have sex with her in 6 months. I cant do it, it seems like doing a cracked out prostitute. Im just ready to give up at this point.
Ps, she has gotten so drunk that she wet the bed 7 times in the past nine months, and my back constantly reminds me that i have slept on the couch too much
Someone has to SEE the big picture, and step up....
Submitted by c ur self on
Just a comment to say I'm sorry that you two have gotten to such a hard place....When people turn over a new leaf so to speak it always takes dealing with...SELF. Your wife can't be an excuse for you to not find and take work no matter what it is until something better comes along.
We must do the right things, that all responsible men should do....(No matter what our wives do)....We (you, me, every MAN) can never use our wives poor behaviors as an excuse to not be responsible and do the right things...I suggest you just turn your focus on being responsible and doing what you know it right...
If she don't follow, be patient, and show her love...Maybe she will wake up, maybe not...She is only poisoning her own life....Be a good example instead of a angry victim....
If this sound a little harsh, I'm not sorry....This is what I would tell my own Son....Life is what YOU make it, there is no free rides....
C
Re
Submitted by jsnksmth on
Just to clarify. I didnt get the job that i had lined up, but i got another job immediately, and i currently work 29 days out of the month
Based on the info in your
Submitted by c ur self on
Based on the info in your post (Burned through all of your savings and gained weight) it didn't sound like you were working..But the details don't matter, it's your life....And I know how hard it can be to watch someone you love destroy their lives w/ substance abuse....
But I can tell you as one who has been through simular things....If you allow it to cause you to turn cold, hard and angry instead of patient and caring...Then you can go ahead and multiple y'alls troubles by 10...
You can't control her, but, you can see it for what it is, try to be understanding and patient and a good example of a better way...Just be by her, like you would want her to be by you, if the shoe was on the other foot...I'm not talking about enablement....I talking about Love, no matter how tough it has to be....
C
There are many options for
Submitted by Hopeful Heart on
There are many options for ADHD medication other than Vyvanse. If vyvanse is giving your wife so much anxiety that she has to smoke weed and drink until she passes out, then I would argue that vyvanse isn't the correct medication for her. Was she honest with the doctors about the the anxiety and the lifestyle that she has developed since starting on vyvanse? Exactly what are the benefits that Vyvanse is providing for her? Is it possible for you to accompany her to a doctors appointment and help her communicate the situation to the doctor? Taking Vyvanse with alcohol is a dangerous combination. She seems to be locked in a horrible loop. I sincerely hope she can break out of it.